I'm weird or it's the hormones....i'm gonna say both

Dumbgurl04 · June 2014

So it might be my hormones playing into this or it's just i'm really weird. But I hate people who talk to me about my pregnancy espically when I don't bring it up myself. I had few people try and touch my belly over the weekend and I pushed their hands away and said I'm not comfortable with them touching me. Then after that comes the comments of "Well you have to get over it cause your pregnant" and " You will change your mind once the baby kicks more" I have felt super weird this whole pregnancy. I mean I"m enjoying it don't get me wrong I'm just not enjoying the other people. They are all telling me how I'll get over this feeling or that feeling. People have actually yelled at me cause i"m not sharing every detail about my pregnancy on social media, or that I barely talk about it when I'm around them. Maybe I just don't care to hear their unwanted comments or advice. I can say though I had no idea I would act like this when I did get pregnant. I knew I would never be comfortable with the whole touching thing, but some people are hurtful when I say I dont' want to be touched. One person even told me my child will never feel any love cause I don't let people touch my belly. I almost wanted to just keep our pregnancy between me DH, my parents, his mom, our siblings and maybe one friend then just one day just send out to everybody else "Meet our baby __________ born ____________" I do feel extremely lucky though with how easy my pregnancy has been besides discomfort I feel pretty good. That coud also be another reason for the no wanting to talk about it cause ANYBODY that didn't have a easy pregnancy has to tell me how awful their's was (my SIL being one of the worse) So maybe it's my weirdness mixed with the crazy hormones that are bringing on these feelings but man I just hate people right now.

Maelara · June 2014

As a STM I will tell you, you will NEVER get over or change your mind about people touching your belly. The person that said your baby won't feel any love is a jerk. I want to hit them for you. I'm seriously super angry for you. How dare they?

hjenni · June 2014

I think you have every right to feel how you feel. I don't like the belly touching thing either unless it's family or a really close friend. To the people who are telling you that you need to get used to it? I would tell them to STFU. You don't have to get used to anything. Or tell them that if they continue to touch your belly without your consent, they can get used to a broken hand (not really condoning violence but you get what I mean). I'm not even going to touch the "your baby won't feel loved" comment because that's beyond ridiculous. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Celticlass6 · June 2014

I like my MIl and all but she went to touch my belly (I'm barely showing still) and I almost slapped her. I totally get where you're coming from!

Shonanny · June 2014

I feel the same way. I have not posted anything on social media or even told more than a handful of people. This is my second and I just don't want to hear pretty much anything from anyone. When you are pregnant you hear so much from everyone. I think it is a good lesson to prepare you for when the baby comes. You are the parent and will make the best choices for your baby bottom line. Keep swatting!

Alid86 · June 2014

I feel you completely on the belly touching. I hated it when i was pregnant with DD. Only DH was allowed. This time i will expand my list of people 'allowed' to include DD but thats it! Pregnant or not everyone is entitled to their personal space. It also upsets me that someone had the nerve to say anything about the 'child not feeling love' that is ridiculous...totally crazy.

kbelle13 · June 2014

I'm not sure how I will react when people start touching my belly, but I'm sure it won't be cute.

Also, we still haven't told most of our friends that I am pregnant. I think it is a really awkward thing to just randomly bring up in a conversation, and because I'm pretty private, I just don't have that much to say about it to people who I'm not super close with. Even now with the few people that know, it seems that every time I talk to them they are asking me, "How are you feeling?". I know they mean well, but honestly, I'm fine. If I felt like hell or wanted to complain, I would let you know.

Tinnerina · June 2014

I went a slightly different rout when somebody touched my belly the other day. Since people have a tendency to touch the top part of my bump I give a slight comeback of "you know you just patted my bowels right? baby's still below my belly button" During my last pregnancy I didn't mind the touching so much from people I knew well, but this early in the pregnancy just feels silly to me :P

ssstephanie214 · June 2014

I get you. It's not hormones. It's people making you feel like you're not you anymore and you're just there to entertain them. Second what pps say about super offensive comments from people who are butthurt about not being allowed to touch your belly. The only person I let touch my belly besides FI was a super sunny warm hippie doula who asked first. That brought me way positive vibes.

NunyaBennis · June 2014

I'm with ya. Folks have gotten testy when we don't have the answers they want to hear. Sorry (not sorry) we haven't decided on a crib/ name/ paint color/ stroller yet. SNS we found out we made a little girl by a blood test instead of sharing a money shot. SNS we don't FB (and don't much like it when you do it for us)! SNS we have our own ideas on what kind of parents we want to be.
As for belly touching, it irritated me a LOT super early. I still grit my teeth a little but try to grin and bear it with extended family. Luckily I've not been approached by strangers. That could get ugly. My husband asked if it was okay to feel my belly! I just laughed and said of course, but of all the people to be polite, right? He tends to play carnival announcer when others approach me to humorously get the BTFU point across: yes, step right up folks! Touch this glorious belly of my beautiful wife! Don't be shy, that's why she came to visit. All she wants is to have her belly rubbed like a buddha! All it costs is a little unsolicited advice!
Like you, it's not that we're not excited. It's just that we're not excited to discuss every single detail of every single decision and every single change in my body with, well, every single person that takes notice. We're fairly private overall I guess, but more so are just enjoying having this time to share the little things along this amazing journey with each other. Maybe we're just not ready to let the world in on our secrets quite yet.

MalachiteDrake · June 2014

Yeah, that's just offensive. Nobody gets to tell you that your body is now public domain simply because you're pregnant. X(

Stand your ground and tell that you don't have to give up your personal space and agency over your body because they want to touch you. It's your body, not theirs.

Bandia12 · June 2014

Maelara said:

As a STM I will tell you, you will NEVER get over or change your mind about people touching your belly. The person that said your baby won't feel any love is a jerk. I want to hit them for you. I'm seriously super angry for you. How dare they?

This so much! I hate when people try to touch my belly, especially strangers, and that has never changed. The love comment is so ridiculous.

Bandia12 · June 2014

Ps. Kudos to you for telling people no and how you feel about it! They are the ones being weird and ridiculous, not you.

Bandia12 · June 2014

@NunyaBennis I would love to high five your husband!

freetobekristin · June 2014

What a jerk thing for that person to say!

My MIL is the only person that has tried to touch my belly so far. I read that someone's defensive tactic was to touch the other person's belly in return so I tried it - worked like a charm. Now she just stares with lazer focus trying to notice if I've grown.

jlove253 · June 2014

All the responses of the people you deny tells a lot of about them than it does you. You are not rig withholding. Don't let their crazy projections make you feel like the crazy one.

SweetMelissa5 · June 2014

My husband and kids are the only ones I want touching my belly, and I have never changed my mind on in any of my pregnancies. I also don't share any details with anyone except my husband (I tend to give very noncommittal answers like "Good" if anyone else asks how the pregnancy is going). I'm just a very private person, and if someone told me that there was something wrong with not discussing my pregnancy in excruciating detail, I'd be inclined to tell them to go to hell.

Bandia12 · June 2014

Saw this on pinterest and knew I had to share here.

https://www.cafepress.com/mf/36301690/dont-touch-it_maternity?productId=416049594

absolutelymaybe · June 2014

There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you're feeling! In fact, I think it's more odd when pregnant women want to share their pregnancy with the world (or expect everyone else to be involved in it). Pregnancy is a wonderful thing, but it is also a very intimate thing that is happening to your body. There's absolutely no shame in wanting to keep it between you and those you feel comfortable with!

mamatohne · June 2014

I can say that I felt the same way with my first. It was such a new and scary thing to experience I was trying to process my feelings without people telling me how I should or shouldn't feel. I didn't like talking about it. I hated people touching me. It was almost as if I were embarrassed by it.
It's very different for me this time. But I think your feelings are very normal.

HappyToBeHere · June 2014

Literally the only people I have let touch my belly are DH and my mom. I lay on the floor and tell my mom to try and find my uterus (she's a family doc), and she never judges me. DH feels because, well, it's half his somewhere in there. If my MIL tried, I'd probably instinctively hit her hand away, and others just haven't tried because I'm not super showing yet.

I don't know how I'll handle when I am, but seriously, if anyone said my baby won't feel loved because I'd do more than slap their hand away. You have every right to be upset about that.

runningmama14 · June 2014

The only awkward touch I have had was from my mom before I was actually showing. She put her hand on my stomach and just stood there. It was super awkward, but she is oblivious to what is socially acceptable, so I'm sure she didn't have a clue how weird it was.

LMM1215 · June 2014

I don't like anyone touching me either so I've asked to rub their bellies in return. That usually stops the rubbing really quickly.

HappyToBeHere · June 2014

freetobekristin said:

What a jerk thing for that person to say!

My MIL is the only person that has tried to touch my belly so far. I read that someone's defensive tactic was to touch the other person's belly in return so I tried it - worked like a charm. Now she just stares with lazer focus trying to notice if I've grown.

I can't stop thinking about this!!! I honestly don't know what my MIL would do if I did that (my mom would laugh it off and be like "ok I get it"). I feel like with my MIL (because she has her own body issues which lead her to judge me harder), it would just be this super quiet, awkward, back-away-slowly moment that we would never speak of again. It would definitely get her to stop touching my belly.

creativesoul83 · June 2014

The only people who have touched my stomach are at the doctors office. when doing doppler or ultrasound. My dh touched my stomach once when I. had him feel where the baby is.

I was warned at work that strangers will try to reach out and touch my belly and I said well I will stay back and karate swat uninvited hands.

I would love to have overheard someone say that to you!!! baby is not going to get love because your not letting people touch you. HA really people that is love right there not letting people rub up on you!!! Do they go up to our spouses or SO and pat their crotch?? uh no!!! So don't touch us!!

I am sorry people are upsetting you and being rude. you don't deserve it at all. ((hugs))

freetobekristin · June 2014

HappyToBeHere said:

freetobekristin said:

What a jerk thing for that person to say!

My MIL is the only person that has tried to touch my belly so far. I read that someone's defensive tactic was to touch the other person's belly in return so I tried it - worked like a charm. Now she just stares with lazer focus trying to notice if I've grown.

I can't stop thinking about this!!! I honestly don't know what my MIL would do if I did that (my mom would laugh it off and be like "ok I get it"). I feel like with my MIL (because she has her own body issues which lead her to judge me harder), it would just be this super quiet, awkward, back-away-slowly moment that we would never speak of again. It would definitely get her to stop touching my belly.

It was exactly like that & it was glorious.

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