Strangers and your baby - love/hate

Rebis58 · June 2014

We've been traveling for a week so lots of instances of LO having contact with strangers or acquaintances.

Got me thinking - what common experiences happen when you're out in public with LO that you hate? What about things that you enjoy?

Love: people telling me how cute DD is, holding doors for me, people letting me go ahead in line, and people who give me an encouraging smile when DD is crying in a place where I might feel pressure to calm her (like a restaurant or when I was flying alone with her)

Hate: people who think it's ok to touch DD's face or hands, who knows where their hands have been? And people getting all up in my business when I don't feel like socializing (although I like it when I'm feeling friendly so I guess that one's a pro and con for me)

MrsW062610 · June 2014

I agree with all if yours!

SandFHasse · June 2014

Same as you. I love when moms of toddlers tell me its ok and they know how I feel when DD decides to have a full on meltdown while we are out. Makes me feel a bit less embarrassed.

Right now what I'm worried about is when little man gets his helmet. I don't want someone calling him names or something. I'll go into bitch mode.

precious72381 · June 2014

I love when people complement her cause she is so cute. Holding doors open, saying I look good (no bags under my eyes with a baby).

I don't like when they call her a boy. Come on, I dressed her in pink and a big flower head band! Seriously!!! And hate when random strangers want to give me suggestions about parenting or tell me stories. I remember right after she was born, quite a few ladies sharing birth stories with me. I didn't need to know any of that, stranger!

brittanydec2012 · June 2014

I agree with many of these! Love the compliments, holding doors especially since lugging this carseat around is getting to be a very heavy task, and compliments for mom too as some days we need a reminder that we are doing a good job, it's the little things

On the flip side, what I do hate is when people say how big his head is (I truly don't think it's big and even if it was, not an appropriate comment to make, I'm gonna lose it on the next person). When they say he is so big for his age, seriously again, I don't think he is but it does irritate me. Comments like those make me go into defense mode and make this mama bear want to protect her cub so I usually have a snappy response.

RedSaffron · June 2014

I love when strangers compliment on how cute Naiya is. We almost caused a car accident once because a lady suddenly stopped her car to look/compliment at DD while we were walking. Hehe.
Honestly strangers here don't bother us by touching her or sharing their stories. But we do get asked if DD is a boy or girl on a regular basis. I'm glad they ask before assuming

Oh I hate going out to public and someone is smoking nearby..

Rebis58 · June 2014

precious72381 said:

I love when people complement her cause she is so cute. Holding doors open, saying I look good (no bags under my eyes with a baby). I don't like when they call her a boy. Come on, I dressed her in pink and a big flower head band! Seriously!!! And hate when random strangers want to give me suggestions about parenting or tell me stories. I remember right after she was born, quite a few ladies sharing birth stories with me. I didn't need to know any of that, stranger!

This happens to DD alllll the time! I don't care when someone calls her a boy when I've dressed her in gender neutral clothes, because babies don't look like one sex or another on their own, but I shake my head and roll my eyes a little (internally) when she's decked out head to toe in pink and someone asks "What's his name?" I don't get offended or really even care but it makes me laugh

Rebis58 · June 2014

@precious72381 and @brittanydec2012 good point! It is nice when someone compliments my appearance (as I don't always feel my best these days) or says that I'm doing a good job with DD. I'm in a mom's walking group and on my first day there when DD was about 6 weeks old, she had a major meltdown when I was trying to get my things together and get her in her car seat. Another mom with a baby a few months older than DD commented that she was impressed with how calm I stayed while settling DD. It made me feel great after a somewhat stressful situation, especially being such a new mom.

precious72381 · June 2014

Rebis58 said:

precious72381 said:

I love when people complement her cause she is so cute. Holding doors open, saying I look good (no bags under my eyes with a baby).

I don't like when they call her a boy. Come on, I dressed her in pink and a big flower head band! Seriously!!! And hate when random strangers want to give me suggestions about parenting or tell me stories. I remember right after she was born, quite a few ladies sharing birth stories with me. I didn't need to know any of that, stranger!

This happens to DD alllll the time! I don't care when someone calls her a boy when I've dressed her in gender neutral clothes, because babies don't look like one sex or another on their own, but I shake my head and roll my eyes a little (internally) when she's decked out head to toe in pink and someone asks "What's his name?" I don't get offended or really even care but it makes me laugh

Yup. She had a dark blue dress on one time but in her car seat so hard to tell it was a dress. She was called a boy. Okay, fine. But ya, when she is in pink with the head band...I'm like try a little harder people! I think it is silly. Wouldn't it just be easier for people to ask what is the baby's name? Before guessing. I really don't get mad at it, I too find it funny and agree that babies are pretty neutral looking but when I dress her very girly, I expect others to not comfuse her for a boy!

Rebis58 · June 2014

tarajeannette said:

The lady at my local grocery store grabbed DD's hand while she was googooing at her and I was thinking inside "NOOOOOOOO! You've touched every person's germs that have come through here today!" I know, it's a little cray to think that people shouldn't touch her, but she seriously must've touched the money that touched hundreds of people. I can't even. I went right home and washed her hand.

*****************
Stuck in your box @tarajeannette
That is the worst! I went in to work to visit coworkers, and a client who I have a very close working relationship with was there for an appointment. He loves kids and I haven't seen him since DD was born so I went to say hello and let him meet DD. He has health issues and is not a clean person (his living conditions and personal hygiene are not great). He reached out and held DD's hand and I was cringing so badly on the inside, but didn't want to hurt his feelings as he is quite sensitive. I just let it go and watched DD for the rest of the conversation to make sure she didn't put that hand in her mouth. As soon as I was out of his sight I scrubbed her hand/arm with a baby wipe.

Tylynngrace · June 2014

I love when people comment on how cute and happy he is. I like when people say I don't look like I had a baby, makes me feel better about my post baby body. I also like when people hold doors for me as well.

I don't like when people touch DS (I think I'm a little crazier because he was a preemie). I also don't like when people stare at me and make comments when he's having a meltdown, it makes me embarrassed and uncomfortable.

Rebis58 · June 2014

Tylynngrace said:

I love when people comment on how cute and happy he is. I like when people say I don't look like I had a baby, makes me feel better about my post baby body. I also like when people hold doors for me as well. I don't like when people touch DS (I think I'm a little crazier because he was a preemie). I also don't like when people stare at me and make comments when he's having a meltdown, it makes me embarrassed and uncomfortable.

People suck. As if it isn't hard enough staying calm while dealing with a crying baby in public - try not to let them make you feel bad (easier said than done), it's their issue not yours.

RedSaffron · June 2014

@Tylynngrace‌ don't feel bad when DS is having a meltdown. If they make a rude comment, just remind them they were screaming little shits before. DD had a meltdown once at the mall and I didn't have any f*cks to give to those around me, I had a baby to calm.

Miisskrisssy · June 2014

I love when people tell me he's adorable, and he gets compliments on his eyes. I also love when people hold the door open for me because usually my hands are full. I also enjoy the small talk, people asking how old he is, and telling me a little about their kids- makes long lines in the grocery store go by quicker.

I absolutely cannot stand when people touch him. Maybe I'm crazy, but I don't know you, and I'm personally an immunocompromised person. So maybe I'm a little more cautious than most. DS hasn't been sick so far, but I have quite a few times since I've had him. Other annoying things: when people call him a girl because he has so much hair, the crazy amount of personal questions some people ask "are you breastfeeding?! "Has he had diaper rash yet?" "Did you have him normally, or was it a c section?" Or when people tell me I'm too young to have a baby, that I'm just a baby myself.

Tylynngrace · June 2014

@RedSaffron‌ well said!

Tylynngrace · June 2014

I just thought of another thing I hate, I can't stand when people think DS is my mom or SIL's son. My mom is way too old and SIL is too young.

NenaMarie84 · June 2014

Once or twice when we've been out people have come over to talk to DD and she'll smile at them and they say how that little smile just made their day. That makes me happy. Even though it's such a small gesture it's still nice knowing it made someone else smile.

monkeybutt61612 · June 2014

People who say "wow! Looks like you have your hands full" when im out with both kids. Thanks asshole, I'm good.

Roses87 · June 2014

tarajeannette said:
The lady at my local grocery store grabbed DD's hand while she was googooing at her and I was thinking inside "NOOOOOOOO! You've touched every person's germs that have come through here today!" I know, it's a little cray to think that people shouldn't touch her, but she seriously must've touched the money that touched hundreds of people. I can't even. I went right home and washed her hand.

Yes! The other day checking out at the grocery store a hand reached around me and grabbed dds hand. (I had dd in a baby carrier facing out) it was the cashier at the register behind us. And she was oohing abd ahhing over her. I held dd hand till we got to the car so she wouldn't chew on it and I put hand sanitizer on it when I got to the car
People are ridiculous.

SandFHasse · June 2014

@monkeybutt61612‌ omg I hate that! This happens ALL the time!

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