Trouble TTC

Don't know how much more I can take!!! :(

TTCBabyJTTCBabyJ member
edited June 2014 in Trouble TTC
I am really considering stopping my TTC journey. DH and I have been actively trying since January 2013, I've been under the care of my RE since August 2013. With all the tests and medications and constant BFNs. I really think I'm ready to hang up my hat. I'm 36 and I don't really have much more time. If I would have known getting pregnant was going to be so difficult I would have started years ago. I had my first IUI this cycle and it looks like total bust...silly and naive of me to think that all I would need is 100mg of clomid and an iui to combat all the issues DH and I have with infertility. RE recommended 3 IUIs and them we would have to move on to ivf. Ivf is not an option for us financially, so we only have two more tries. I feel like I want to quit before I get to the point where my RE says there is nothing else he can do for us. I'm just so upset right now!!
Me: +35 DH: +35
TTC: Since January 2013 
DX: PCOS. Severe Endometriosis, Unicornuate Uterus w/only left tube and left ovary, Pedunculated fibroid (on the outside of uterus) and Anovulation. All conditions diagnosed 8/13
TX: Metformin
DH DX: MFI - low morphology, low motility
Ultrasound shows both kidneys in spite of UU. 
HSG showed clear tube on the left side. 
Lap Surgery performed 1/9/14 to remove fibroid and endo (Stage 3)
  • IUI# 1 June 2014 started 100 mg of Clomid - 7dpiui Progesterone: 13: BFN
  • IUI#2  July 2014 started 100 mg of Clomid - 7dpiui Progesterone: 5.75: BFN
  • Natural Cycle - so shocked to be in 2WW - 7dpo Progesterone: 15.5: BFN
  • Working with new RE starting injectables in late August.
  • IUI #3 August 2014  w/ Menopur: BFN
  • Finally ovulating on my own!!
Waiting to start IVF hopefully
**********All Are Welcome**************
3T January Siggy Challenge: New Year's Resolution
image

 

Re: Don't know how much more I can take!!! :(

  • I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated. I'm in the same boat financially. I just can't see us ever being able to afford IVF and it scares me to death that I have a limited amount of tries. Try to be kind to yourself and know that you are not the only one feeling this way.

    Me-36
    DH -35
    Married in 2008
    Started TTC in 2011
    Began testing May 2014
    Test Results
    HSG- clear
    Hysteroscopy- clear
    SA- 11 mil count
    45% motility
    Diagnosis: MFI
    July 2014: Femera 5mg CD 4-8, Trigger, IUI = BFN
    August 2015: Femera 5mg CD 4-8, Trigger, IUI = BFN
    September 2015: Femera 5mg CD 4-8, Trigger, IUI = BFN
    May 2018 after long period of not trying, starting adoption process with family friend's newborn
    November 2018 Adoption complete!


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  • Wish I could reach through the computer and hug you. I'm so sorry for your frustrations. I hope that maybe in some small way, it helps you to write it all out and get some support, even if it's just from a few online strangers who probably understand more than people you'll meet in "real life". <3
  • I am so sorry that you are going through this.  There have been days where I have thought I'm ready to be done with this too.  IF can really take so much out of you.  I just want to give you some internet ((HUGS)) and let you know that I'm thinking about you. 

    Me (29): Hashimoto's, CD3/7DPO bloodwork & ultrasound normal, HSG & SHG(x2) all clear
    DH (29): SA Perfect
    TTC Since Jan '13, First RE Appt Jan '14
    DX: Unspecified Ovarian Dysfunction, Long Cycles
    May '13 BFP, C/P 4w3d
    Apr '14:  50mg clomid + ovidrel + B2B IUI #1=BFP,  Natural M/C 6.5wks
    Aug '14: 50mg clomid + ovidrel + B2B IUI #2=BFN
    Oct '14: 100mg clomid + ovidrel + IUI#3 =BFN
    Nov 14: 100mg clomid + ovidrel + B2B IUI#4=slow response, bad lining, cancelled
    FU with RE, more bloodwork: Anticardiolipin +
    Dec 14: 5mg Letrozole+baby aspirin +ovidrel + B2B IUI#4.1=BFFN
    Jan '15: 5mg Letrozole +baby aspirin + ovidrel +B2B IUI #5= BFP!! 
    Beta #1 210  Beta #2 546


  • I'm so sorry for what you're going through. We are in the same boat financially. We're saving to go straight to embryo adoption, because we can only afford to save for one round and we are unexplained so we can't risk IVF not working and wasting the money. Run-on sentence aside, I understand where you're coming from. We are taking a break and just not preventing this month to try and refresh. (((BIG HUGS))) I'll keep you (and everyone else) in my thoughts and prayers, as always.
    Love 2010 | Marriage 2011 | TTC #1 since 2012
    PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole
  • I'm so sorry. :-( It's such a hard decision to make. Personally, I'm not ready to give up yet, but I think everyone has a line. There are definitely days when I wonder if it is worth it, but in the end I decide that it is. I hope you can come to peace with a decision. At the very least, a break might be nice? I know breaks can be hard too though.... ((hugs))
    **siggy warning**  **everyone welcome**

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    DS- 11.07.02
    DSS- 6.26.04
    Married- 6.29.13
    TTC Again- Sept. 2013
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Test Results/Diagnosis- HSG & SA totally normal
    DX: 3/2014 Prolactinoma/Hyperprolactinemia- Started cabergoline 2/2014
    5/2014 Possible mild PCOS in addition to hyperprolactinemia??
    7/2014 Adding probable tubal factor to the diagnosis list
    9/2014 And now adding hypothyroid to the list- Started synthroid 9/2014
    Cycles 1-4 - Sept.-March- All Anovulatory 
    IUI #1 March/April-  Clomid 50mg + Clomid 100mg +Trigger + IUI #1 = BFN
     IUI #2 April/May-Clomid 100mg + Clomid 150mg + Trigger + IUI #2 + Endometrin=BFN
    IUI #3- June- Follistim 75iu + Trigger + IUI #3  Benched due to a 40 mm cyst. :-(
    IUI #3- July- Follistim 75iu + Trigger + IUI #3 + Endometrin = BFP! on 7/25/14
    Slowly rising betas - Ectopic suspected on 8/8/14 & confirmed on 8/11/14
    Methotrexate on 8/12/14 -HCG negative on 9/2/14
    IVF #1- November- Antagonist protocol: 11/1: start stims, 200iu of Follistim; 11/12 ER 17R/14M/14F; 11/17 5 day transfer of two blasts, 2 blasts and 2 expanding morulas frozen; 11/22 BFP!! (On FRER at 5dp5dt)
    Betas: 9dp5dt 205, 11dp5dt 497, 14dp5dt 1,709
    u/s at 5w0d- 1 sac; u/s at 6w0d 1 baby with heartbeat, another sac without a heartbeat
    image


  • I'm so sorry. It must be a scary feeling to feel like it's counting down to your last chances. Do you think if IVF was not an option for you, that your RE would allow you to choose how many IUI's you wanted to go, instead of giving you a hard and fast "end point" that may make everything that much more stressful? I wish you peace with whatever you choose.
    January 3T Siggy Challenge - New Year's Resolutions
    image
    imageimage

    Me (29), DH (30) TTC actively 54 55+ cycles | All BFNs
    MFI (low everything) | Endo Stage 1 & Stenotic Cervix (treated) | PCO
    Married - July 2008 | Started TTC - Jan 2009RE Visit #1 - Mar 2014 
    IUI #1 ICI #1 - June | IUI #1.1 Laparoscopy - Aug
    IUIs #1.2, 2, 3 - Sept, Oct, Nov (Letrozole) - BFNs 
    IUI #4 - Dec (Bravelle) | IUI #5 - Dec/Jan (Bravelle) - 5 follies + TI - BFNs
    IUI #5.1 - Jan (Bravelle) Cancelled 
    Planning to start IVF in March!
    ***All Welcome***
  • I know what it's like to feel so frustrated you consider throwing in the towel, but try to just take it one IUI at a time and see where you go. Big hugs Hun!
    Andrea (31), married Aaron (36) September 2012
    Parents to fur babies Tiki and Gizzmo and 2yr old Georgia
    IF veterans; #1 conceived on second clomid+HCG+IUI, #2 conceived on 1st Letrozole+HCG+IUI
    EDD: Feb 5, 2018


  • I'm so sorry, I'm having the exact same feelings. I hope that you can find peace. It has been very difficult for me to. Hugs xoxo

    Married 12/4/12

    Began TTC 11/2012

    Diagnosed as anovulatory 7/2013

    Round #1 Clomid 50 mg 8/2013= BFN

    Round#2 Clomid 50 mg 9/2013=BFN

    First appointment with RE 9/27/2013

    HSG showed left tube completely blocked, diagnosed with hypothyroid and began 50 mcg Synthroid, Vitamin D level low and began 2000 iu Vitamin D, Hubby's SA showed "super sperm" according to RE

    Round#3 Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel trigger 10/2013= BFN

    Round #4 Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel trigger 11/2013=BFN

    Round #5 Clomid 50 mg (no trigger, on vacation) 12/2012= BFN

    Round #1 Femara 2.5 mg, no trigger, IUI cancelled due to early ovulation 1/2014= BFN

    1/25/2014= BENCHED for the first time (two leftover follies on the right)

    2/7/14 Diagnosed with MTHFR/Benched

    4/2014 Round #2 Femara 5mg, IUI #1=BFN

    4/28/14 positive opk with no treatment while on break, confirmed with ultrasound= BFN

    5/16/14 5mg Femara + trigger + TI=  BFN

    6/2014 5mg Femara + trigger + TI= BFN

    Awaiting IVF consultation appointment on 7/29/2014

    8/8/14 Began BCP's to prep for IVF

    9/16/14 Began Lupron injections

    9/25/14 Began stimming for IVF #1 with Menopur and Bravelle

    10/8/14 10 eggs retrieved

    10/13/14 2 embryos transferred

    10/21/14 BFP!!!

    11/24/14 confirmed that baby stopped growing at 6 weeks, d&c scheduled 




  • I am sorry you are feeling this way. I hope you are able to find peace with whatever decision you make. Lots of ((Hugs)) hun. 
    Multiple TTCAL 1IF 3
    imageimage
    DX: stage 2 Endo 2012, PCOS 7/2/14,  HSG 6/11/14, Lefty open!!
    BFP#1, EDD: 4/27/14, Missed EP confirmed: 9/23/13, R tube removal: 9/25/13 
    Clomid/TI #1=BFN, 
    Clomid/TI#2=BFN, Clomid/TI #3=CP
    BFP #2 CP, EDD 7/12/15
    On a treatment break: 2 natural cycles. Saving money, sigh*

    Goodbye my sweet babies. We miss you so much
    All Welcome


  • Thank you ladies very much....I really had a meltdown the other day. I think it was helpful I haven't had one since we started and my DH is realizing that I am really serious about this baby. I don't blame him for taking this long, I lose interest in things really fast. But your kind words and support make me feel like I have real friends that are going through the same thing. I'm going to need the extra support this summer....I am teaching Lifespan Development and yesterday in class just lecturing on Conception made me get a little choked up. I bet my students were wondering why is her voice quivering when she talks about a zygote.....if they only knew sometimes conception is not as easy as the textbook describes....ugh!
    Me: +35 DH: +35
    TTC: Since January 2013 
    DX: PCOS. Severe Endometriosis, Unicornuate Uterus w/only left tube and left ovary, Pedunculated fibroid (on the outside of uterus) and Anovulation. All conditions diagnosed 8/13
    TX: Metformin
    DH DX: MFI - low morphology, low motility
    Ultrasound shows both kidneys in spite of UU. 
    HSG showed clear tube on the left side. 
    Lap Surgery performed 1/9/14 to remove fibroid and endo (Stage 3)
    • IUI# 1 June 2014 started 100 mg of Clomid - 7dpiui Progesterone: 13: BFN
    • IUI#2  July 2014 started 100 mg of Clomid - 7dpiui Progesterone: 5.75: BFN
    • Natural Cycle - so shocked to be in 2WW - 7dpo Progesterone: 15.5: BFN
    • Working with new RE starting injectables in late August.
    • IUI #3 August 2014  w/ Menopur: BFN
    • Finally ovulating on my own!!
    Waiting to start IVF hopefully
    **********All Are Welcome**************
    3T January Siggy Challenge: New Year's Resolution
    image

     
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