Your thoughts about our potential nanny situation?

xtina78 · June 2014

So our di di twin girls are coming (hopefully in August)! Our plan is that I'm going to be home with them for about three months and then go back to work part time about three hours per day.

Our next door neighbor who is a good friend and a really great person has decided to be a SAHM and we have been talking with her about her potentially watching our daughters when I go back to work. She has one daughter who will be about 11 months when our daughters are three months. She has a degree in early childhood education and has a large family where she has cared for little ones extensively. She doesn't have any infant CPR certification or anything like that but I'm sure that's something we could talk about. I really like the way she is with her daughter. She also would speak both Spanish and English to the babies which I like.

This would be a very convenient nanny situation for us being right next door (also my DH works from home so could help her in any emergencies) and being someone we know and really like. Our major concern is that three infants will be overwhelming for her. We are also concerned about "doing business" with friends but think we can manage this by having a very clear list of expectations on both sides. We live in CA and according to the CA dept of Social Services website you don't need a child care facility license if you're taking care of children from only one family in addition to your own.

Any thoughts? Our other major option would be to hire a "professional nanny." The downsides of this would be having to rely on interviews and references rather than several years of knowing someone. I have also heard that it is difficult to find a nanny who would only want to work part time.

ETA: I looked up the legal stuff.

persephonerose · June 2014

I have no experience with this, but I will say from what people around me have experienced with these types of situations is that it is always better when the arrangement is in writing. I have seen some friendships ruined because one person had completely different expectations.

oughtonk · June 2014

This can work well but I definitely recommend putting things in writing. When my DS was first born my best friend was a SAHM and I used her to watch him, it worked out really well and we never had any issues because all expectations were clear and we stuck to them. My mom now watches my DS and will be watching our twins (she was laid off from the schools several years ago), we've done the same thing with her and put everything into writing, we pay her just like we would if we hired a professional nanny.

I have heard stories of this turning into a bad situation and friendships being ruined but I've heard more success stories.

BabyCarryingVessel · June 2014

You should be fine as long as you all are open with each other. My nanny (who's also my friend) and I would have a talk about once a month and air grievances. Usually there would be a couple minor things and we would take care of them right away. Sounds like an ideal situation!

daisy19782011 · June 2014

I think it sounds good! At least it is someone you know and not a stranger! If it doesn't work out, you can always go the professional route.

Angelahelena · June 2014

As a prior nanny and present preschool teacher for 15 years, the issue is having three children under the age of two. I don't know laws in your state but look up how many under two are allowed bc the norm is only two under two for one caregiver. I have worked w many children and if I had to offer quality child care for three under two I understand how difficult it truly is. I applaud triplet mamas.
Besides that you have to think of the friend issue. Pros and cons to that situation.

xtina78 · June 2014

Thanks for everyone's feedback, it really helped inform our process. @Angelahelena - thanks for the info about the three under two, I cannot find any law in CA prohibiting this but I am going to look into it further. So far our plan is to cautiously proceed and have everything written out in a contract.

LittleLady77 · June 2014

I would not go with her for three reasons. 1. Newborn twins are tons of work, there is no way three infants to one person is a good idea. 2. My best friend is a nanny who watches another child too and she says it's really hard to prioritize the other child. Her child will always come first, that's just natural. 3. If it doesn't work out it will be super weird. Also your nanny learns tons about your family and it's best to keep some distance with neighbors IMO.

caden · June 2014

Is she interested in having more children of her own soon? Because while 3u2 would be difficult but doable, 4u2/4u3 would not be a good idea. You might get dumped within the first year. Not sure if that would be a deal breaker now but it's something to consider.

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