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child birth fears becasue of previous birth

MNgirl326MNgirl326 member
in Natural Birth

I am writing this because I am hoping someone here can help me and point me in the right direction- I am 8 weeks pregnant with my second child and am already having fears about giving birth.

My first birth experience was pretty traumatic - my water broke at 11:55 pm as I was brushing my teeth to go to bed.  I labored at home for a couple hours but things seemed to be progressing really fast.   We got to the hospital about 2:15, and while I was in triage waiting to get checked in I got really sick and vomited 2 times.  By the time I got to my room, labor was pretty tough.  I tried to breathe effectively, but it wasn't working, I vomited 3 more times, especially when they made me lay down do they could find the heartbeat.   By 4:30 I was falling asleep standing up and I was begging for an epi.   I fell asleep in the nurses arms while they were doing the epi and was able to get some sleep.

WHen it was finally time to push, I pushed for 2 hours.  LO was stuck and had to be vacuumed out.  When he finally came out, he overinflated his lung stopped breathing, he had to have CPR done and then was put on a vent and then later a CPAP.  It took 6 hours before I was able to hold him.. 

Looking back, I am still pretty traumatized by this whole experience.   I know some of it could have happened even if I had a natual birth, but I also know some of it happened that could have been different.  I really didn't know how to breathe, so I was hyperventilating, which caused me to vomit, which was exhausting both emotionally and physically, which was the reason for the epi, which then caused pushing for 2 hours. 

I want this time to be different.  I don't' have issues with epi's but at the same time, I want to be able to labor more effectively and hopefully avoid one.  

Does anyone know where to start?   I love my OB and will have a hospital birth again, but I am looking for some info/ training on how to breathe and labor more effectively.   Any words of advice or encouragement would be great thanks!


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A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014

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Re: child birth fears becasue of previous birth

  • BloomingMommaBloomingMomma member
    My labor wasn't as traumatic, but the fear factor still resonates. Im trying to learn relaxation skills this time around. :/ even just deep breath in. (Think "let") and let breath go (think "go.") I practice stuff like that with mindfulness when my 2 year old still wants to nurse and I'm uncomfortable at 20 ish weeks :)
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  • BloomingMommaBloomingMomma member
    Some communities have support groups for folks who has traumatic birth experiences. I know people who have been helped by that support. My yoga class helps me since support group built into it
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  • KochavKatanKochavKatan member

    I'm sorry to hear of your traumatic experience.  It's great that you know what went wrong the first time (hyperventilating, for example) and what you can change this time around.  I strongly believe that if you are more prepared emotionally, labor and delivery will be that much easier. 

    I would suggest trying to take a hypnobirthing or a Bradley class - many of the "natural birth" classes will coach you in how to best handle the process and pains of labor.  It can also guide you in various relaxation techniques, etc.  The fact that you've done this before and know what to expect can be very useful to you as well - watch plenty of videos of natural childbirth - it will help you to prepare.  And most importantly, don't let guilt over the previous birth ruin the experience of your upcoming one.

    Good luck!!

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  • emma&grantemma&grant member
    Hypnobirthing does a great job of training you to breathe, and they also do a "fear release" exercise that could help you. It's heavily pro-natuaral birth though, so that could be annoying for you. 

    Hiring a doula who will be next to you breathing with you can really, really help. I recently supported a second time mum and she said that was one of the most helpful things during her second labour.

    Also look into PTSD counselling. Trauma from childbirth is a real thing, and it's perfectly normal to need to talk to someone before going through a second labour. 

    This article might help:

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  • drpaynedrpayne member
    My first birth was fairly tough.  5 hours of pushing before being transferred to the hospital and getting an epi (to rest and re-hydrate).  With my second, I was at the birthing center for one hour before he was born.  It was a healing experience for me ;)  The second birth can be completely different from your first!
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  • MNgirl326MNgirl326 member

    Thank you for all your responses- you have given me a few places to start. 

    I know this one will be different, but I also want to be more prepared this time around. 

    I thought I was prepared, cause I took a class through my OB/hospital.  Turns out, I wasn't.

    Now I know for next time.

    Thanks!

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  • MandMLeonaMandMLeona member

    I'm so sorry you struggled so much in your first birth.  My first birth took a very unexpected form and it took me a long while to process not only the birth but the reactions of people after the fact.  It also took some work to figure out what to expect from my second birth.

    The Birthing From Within book has a lot of information to help you work through previous tramas.  That's something you could start on now rather than waiting until later when the how to classes start.  I didn't read it until after I'd worked through my feelings from the first one, but I think it would have helped speed up that process for me.

    Good luck finding the right path for this birth!

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  • vszappvszapp member
    FWIW I had a fairly bad experience the first time, but I did hypnobabies the second time and had a great NB experience. Second babies are MUCH easier (3hr pushing vs 5 min!). You can do this!

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  • margaritachikitamargaritachikita member
    Hire a doula! She can help you prepare for this birth and will be with you during the labor and delivery process to help ensure that things go smoothly/differently/prevent trauma. 
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  • margaritachikitamargaritachikita member
    Oh, and read a ton of positive birth stories! 



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  • barista411barista411 member
    I was also traumatized after delivering my first. I was determined to have a different experience with my second. I practiced yoga, meditation, positive affirmation, aromatherapy, music therapy and read anything I could get hands on about natural birth. Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth was a wonderful source of inspiration and information for me.

    During my second L&D I focused on my affirmations and staying calm and relaxed. It made a huge difference in my labor. I felt more relaxed and in control and had a much better experience.

    I would also recommend working with your OB or a doula to come up with a game plan and birth plan to help ease your anxiety.
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  • DebateThisDebateThis member
    Doula and hypnosis tracks. I loved the Natal Hypnotherapy tracks from the UK. I'd highly encourage classes that aren't through the hospital, too.

    Also, check out the forums on Solace for Mothers, which is a traumatic birth support site.

    And ::waves:: Nice ticker ya got there. :)
    Six years of infertility and loss, four IUIs, one IVF and one very awesome little boy born via med-free birth 10.24.13.
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