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Fight with DH about family heirloom cradle...need advice

hereid326hereid326 member
in July 2014 Moms
Okay so this is a weird one, but here goes. My husband's dad is into woodworking and made a rocking cradle for his first grandchild 10 years ago. It sits low to the ground and rocks back and forth (duh...rocking cradle). My husband's sister says she used it for both of her kids. When FIL found out that we were pregnant, he got all excited to refinish the cradle for us. He has clearly spent a lot of time on it. Needless to say, I have been a little wary of the idea from the beginning. What are the safety hazards of having our newborn sleep in something that is handmade. Should I be worried? 

So last week, the cradle was delivered, and it's aesthetically beautiful, but I was still nervous. Right away, I noticed that it sits a little off center. Maybe that's because we live in a house built in the 1800's and the whole house is a little off center, or maybe it's the cradle. I said to DH, we might need to do something to fix that, and he got all defensive, so I didn't bring it up again...until tonight. 

Very casually, I brought up the crooked concern again, and a new concern about how our very rambunctious dog could jump on one side of it and the baby could rock aggressively into the side and get hurt. At this point, my husband became very angry with me and said that I never wanted it in the first place, and we should just give it back. Maybe this is secretly true, but how do you argue with a family heirloom? I certainly don't want to give it back, but I would honestly love to pretend that we use it and just have the baby sleep in our beautiful new pack n play or crib. 

I feel like DH and I can talk very openly about all things baby related and generally agree on things, but he is very much set on using this cradle...Any one have thoughts? Am I being unreasonable? Should I give the cradle more of a chance? 
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Re: Fight with DH about family heirloom cradle...need advice

  • chevronsevenchevronseven member
    I would probably be wary too, but honestly we made it for centuries with exclusively handmade things like that. I agree with PP that using it for supervised naps would be a nice compromise. We have a high chair that is handcrafted wood, albeit by a professional, that DH and his siblings and cousins all used that I was a little nervous about using, but I'm sure it will be fine.
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  • RKSnyderRKSnyder member
    I would def use it when supervised. And while DH might not love that, it seems like a fair compromise IMO.
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  • iris427iris427 member
    Ditto others, I would try it for supervised naps and stuff. Also make sure the cradle meets modern safety standards (ie the slats aren't too far apart where a baby's head could get caught, if it has a mattress it needs to fit right so the baby can't fall between it, etc). But truthfully, you don't know what sleep arrangement will work for your newborn until they're here anyway.
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  • ShelleybellShelleybell member
    use it for supervised naps etc.  We have a cradle that has been passed around since before I was born.  when it came time for dd to be in it, i literally didn't sleep the first night I was so paranoid.  After that first night, she didn't sleep in it again.  There was nothing wrong with it, but i just didn't feel safe with her sleeping in something so old etc.
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  • abundancenowabundancenow member
    Give it a try, you never know what your baby will take to. I have a cradle from my family, like you described, a bassinet from my husbands side, a pack in play, and we have a crib. I have them in different rooms and will try them all.
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  • ChrisBChrisB member
    ghostof5letters said:
    I'd use the cradle, this isn't the hill I'd choose to die on. Especially considering your husband seems emotionally invested. 
    Agreed. We will be using the cradle that I slept in 39 years ago. It's a rocking cradle but there are pegs that we can use to stop it from rocking. My Dad has refinished it and bought a new mattress pad for it. I'm excited to have my son sleeping in the same cradle I did all those years ago. 
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  • hereid326hereid326 member
    Thanks ladies. I think I need to at least give it a try. I don't think the supervised naps idea is going to fly with DH, until we figure out what the baby actually likes. If it's not working for some reason, I'm sure I can then suggest the alternatives, but at this point, you're right, DH is very emotionally invested in this being "the" bedroom sleep option.

    And yes, our dog is a bigger concern. Believe me, we're both stressed about how she is going to take to the baby, and how we're going to protect the baby from the hyper dog. The good thing is that she's not aggressive at all, just energetic.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    hereid326 said:
    Thanks ladies. I think I need to at least give it a try. I don't think the supervised naps idea is going to fly with DH, until we figure out what the baby actually likes. If it's not working for some reason, I'm sure I can then suggest the alternatives, but at this point, you're right, DH is very emotionally invested in this being "the" bedroom sleep option.


    Well, if he's adamant about using it, he should be willing to compromise as well. Hopefully once baby is here you both will be able to come to an agreement - either you'll feel comfortable using it at night or he'll concede that using it for supervised naps is sufficient.

    I think the suggestion of asking your FIL if there's a way to lock it is a good one, too.
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  • earichar23earichar23 member
    edited June 2014
    I would also be more concerned with accidental over-rocking by your energetic dog and wonder if there is something you can do to lessen the rocking abilities. Maybe a thick rug you can put under it or some sort of stopper as suggested by PP. And if you get grandpa involved in the fix feel free to blame it on the dog or the tilt of an old house to protect feelings!
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  • missyrissymissyrissy member
    We have a cradle that was brought to America in early 1800's or something like that. It's OLDER than dirt but so well crafted and beautiful! I plan on using it for pictures for sure, and maybe a few naps. But we have pictures dated back for years, so really that's the main use now. I would at least use it once or twice when he comes over and get some pictures with him in it that baby can see when he/she is older. It WILL mean something someday!!!
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  • MrsKubleyMrsKubley member
    If you prefer the supervised naps perhaps word it like this: "husband, your father worked so hard on this, why would we hide it away in the bedroom? Why not in the living room so our guests can see what a good job he did and baby can be put in it more often?"
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  • MrsKubleyMrsKubley member
    We've got a "Moses basket" that's an heirloom from my side of the family and keeping it in the living room for supervised naps and a place to set the baby down is my plan as well. The sides are a suffocation risk for full night sleeping.
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