Work and hiding pregnancy

Michelleashby · June 2014

Can a boss legally ask you to hide your pregnancy and then ask you to lie about when you found out about the pregnancy? Just looking for some thoughts..

January Bride · June 2014

Can you provide a little more background info, such as why they would want you to hide it and why they want you to lie about the date you found out? Does it relate to benefits or the field you are in? Context would be helpful.

mb314 · June 2014

That sounds fishy - who are they asking you to lie to?

Acoyston · June 2014

No legally they can't say anything about you being pregnant technically they can't even ask you anything about your pregnancy unless of course your friends and what not a boss has no right to say anything about your pregnancy I would tell him/ her that you will not lie or hide your pregnancy

[Deleted User] · June 2014

I think it depends on the circumstance. Would lying about it somehow benefit both you and your boss? If so, then go for it. If it's no benefit to you or you just feel uncomfortable about it, then don't.

Michelleashby · June 2014

Sure so basically I started a new job. I interviewed pregnant and disclosed the pregnancy when the offer was made. I was told the offer still stood but could I just wait to disclose to others thAt I was pregnant. I didn't care really I was happy to have a new and better job. At the time I was maybe 14 weeks. So around 20 weeks I was really starting to show and I asked if I could disclose the pregnancy to others bc I figured people would ask. I was told no. So about 4 weeks later I had to go to the emergency room with stomach pains (just a constipation issue) my boss told me that she wanted me to tell people I just found out that day I was pregnant. Mind you now I'm almost 6 months pregnant at this point and I feel
Stupid going along with that story. She ended up telling one staff member and I had to go on with the story bc I didn't know what else to do.

GlitterMuffin914 · June 2014

I don't see how it's anyone's business how far along you are or if you found out about it before or after you started working there, especially if you've been doing a great job and continue to do so. I wouldn't hide it anymore and just tell people who ask about it. I wouldn't mention anything about when you find out and let them assume whatever they want. If asked you could either a.) be honest or b.)vaguely says "a while ago"

Yeah I don't understand your bosses reasoning. Did she tell you why she wants you to do that?

Michelleashby · June 2014

I appreciate the advise. It's the strangest thing. She never told me why. I think it's bc she doesn't want people to judge her for hiring someone pregnant. Which is completely ridiculous. I just feel like an idiot because I'm in a management position and people actually think I just found out i was pregnant, like the tv show "I didn't know I was pregnant" when In reality I obviously knew the whole time and so did she. I almost feel discriminated against in a weird way

mb314 · June 2014

Your boss sounds like a real piece of work. It is ridiculous to lie about when you found out and unprofessional of her to ask you to lie about it. It is no one's business when you found out about the pregnancy. I never told my colleagues about when I peed on a stick. I doubt anyone will ask you (and if they do they shouldn't) but I wouldn't lie about the situation.

Is there an HR department or another superior you could talk to. I would be really really uncomfortable in this situation, and I would distrust my boss. Also, I would be Afraid that lying about something like this could come back to bite you in the butt later.

Good luck!

Michelleashby · June 2014

My boss is actually the executive director and the HR person is very close with her. My boss told the HR person I didn't know I was pregnant and I went to share the news with her (but was going to leave the lie out) and she was like "omg I can't believe you just found out" I think there is a corporate hr department I'm going to look into that

mysticl · June 2014

Michelleashby said:

Sure so basically I started a new job. I interviewed pregnant and disclosed the pregnancy when the offer was made. I was told the offer still stood but could I just wait to disclose to others thAt I was pregnant. I didn't care really I was happy to have a new and better job. At the time I was maybe 14 weeks. So around 20 weeks I was really starting to show and I asked if I could disclose the pregnancy to others bc I figured people would ask. I was told no. So about 4 weeks later I had to go to the emergency room with stomach pains (just a constipation issue) my boss told me that she wanted me to tell people I just found out that day I was pregnant. Mind you now I'm almost 6 months pregnant at this point and I feel Stupid going along with that story. She ended up telling one staff member and I had to go on with the story bc I didn't know what else to do.

By law the offer has to still stand (if you are in the United States). If they had rescinded the offer you could have slapped them with one heck of a law suit. There is something fishy going on at that office. I'd be curious to find out how pregnant employees have been treated in the past.

AmericanInOz · June 2014

Michelleashby said:

My boss is actually the executive director and the HR person is very close with her. My boss told the HR person I didn't know I was pregnant and I went to share the news with her (but was going to leave the lie out) and she was like "omg I can't believe you just found out" I think there is a corporate hr department I'm going to look into that

*stuck in grey

WOW yes I definitely would go to corportate HR and speak to someone. That is SO SO unprofessional for her to force you to lie and especially for her to tell the HR person a lie! Unacceptable and just ridiculous

mb314 · June 2014

Have all these conversations with you and your boss been through conversations? Has she ever said anything to you about it over email? If so, print that email out and bring it home to keep safe - and show it to corporate HR if you go that route. But in any case, document this as much as you can. That is extremely unprofessional that your boss has lied to the HR person on your behalf and is asking you to go along with it. It would make me worried about other shady stuff going on in the office.

Michelleashby · June 2014

That's a really good point. All of this has been in person but I'm going to document everything in case I get into any issues once the baby actually comes. I think I might call corporate too!

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