DC transition not going so well -- feeding and sleep issues

kak808 · June 2014

This week we started sending LO to DC part time, since I'm going back to work next week. The plan was to take her Monday and Tuesday from 8:30-12 (1 feeding at 9:30; I would BF at home at 6:30) and Wednesday and Thursday 8:30-3 (2 feedings at 9:30 and 12:30).

On Monday, I sent her with a 4.5 oz bottle. I BF at home and almost never bottle feed, but when I do it's between 4 and 5 oz so I started with that. They said she woke up crying and seemed hungry before I came to get her, but was fine when I got there. The next day I upped her bottle from 4.5 oz to 5 oz and they said she was totally fine and happy all day. Wednesday I gave 2 5 oz bottles, but I got a call around 11:30 saying that LO was completely inconsolable and that they wanted to give her the bottle an hour early, so I said ok. I called back shortly after that and they said she was fine after eating and I picked her up early, since I hadn't left a 3rd bottle. Yesterday, the plan was for her to get the 9:30 and 12:30 bottles and that I'd pick her up at 3 to feed her at home. However, at 3, she'd already gotten all 3 5 oz. bottles (2nd at 11:45 and 3rd at 2:30). Again they said she was really upset by 11:45.

Unfortunately, this 2nd bottle keeps being given when the woman who normally watches her is on break, so I don't know if that could be playing a role. Maybe LO isn't used to these other people or they don't know how to comfort her? Obviously, if she is hungry, I want her to eat. However, once I'm back at work, she'll be there until at least 5 or 5:30. I was hoping her last bottle at DC would be at 3:30 and then I could BF around 6:30 at home. It seems, however, that by this schedule she will be eating 4 5 oz bottles every day. Isn't this too much?? I'll be BFing her once in the morning and twice after she gets home. Also, there's no way I can pump 20 oz a day -- I'm usually maxing out around 16 oz with extra pumps in the AM and PM.

Also, since she's started DC, she's been waking up 2-3 times per night crying. She's not hungry, just crying, though sometimes I will BF for a few minutes because it helps her fall back asleep. I'm guessing this is just part of the transition and will pass? LO has been an amazing sleeper her entire life and has been sleeping through the night most nights since about 8 weeks, so this is very atypical. Also, whenever she has woken up in the past, it's been to eat and she usually doesn't cry, just wakes up and thrashes around. Does this mean that the transition is stressing her out? I just worry about her and obviously it's not ideal to be up all night now that I'm going back to work! Is there anything I can do to make this easier for her or will she just get over it on her own?

Any suggestions on what to do about the feeding issue? She doesn't seem to be a fan of smaller, more frequent meals. We were sort of on a eat every 3 hours schedule, but obviously I'd feed her before then when she was hungry.

ETA: Sorry for the novel...

Codypup · June 2014

I'm sorry you're having troubles. From what I understand, sometimes kids will eat way more at DC as a form of self-soothing. It could be that your LO is doing that as part of her adjustment.

She could also be coincidentally hitting a growth spurt.

The sleep issues are hard to pinpoint because the sleep patterns of babies are constantly changing, IME. It could be because of the daycare transition, or it could be a growth spurt. It could be that she wants more comfort in the MOTN because she's been away from you during the day.

I'd suggest sending one extra bottle for your own peace of mind. You can also request that the DCP try and get her on a schedule, say once every 3 hours, unless they think LO is truly hungry. Most DCPs will be happy to accommodate your request. You may also find that as time goes on, your LO settles into a more normal schedule on her own.

FWIW, W will eat 3 times at DC, at 10:30/11am, 1pm, and 3pm (or around those times.) She usually takes 4 oz for each feeding. We then feed her right when she gets home (5:30), again at 6:30, and then again at 9pm.

boogerbearoriginal · June 2014

A lot of babies like to comfort suck, and that can lead to overfeeding at daycare since milk comes out of the bottle even if baby just wants comfort. Are you opposed to them offering a pacifier? That may help avoid LO getting overfed if she's looking to suck for comfort.

Generally speaking you want to look at around 1oz per hour of separation, up to 1.5oz if LO is sleeping long stretches at night. So I would say that 20oz is probably too much if you're going to have 11hrs between nursing (6:30a-5:30p). More likely around 11-15oz is what LO would take in over that period. Sometimes babies will act hungry/fussy when needing to be burped. Or just wanting to be held a bit. And of course when they are overtired they act very fussy and that can be mistaken for hungry too.

You may also want to chat with them about your LO's unique hunger cues. A lot of people look at hand sucking as hunger cue, however, LO2 is constantly chewing/sucking her hands, heck she tries to suck her fingers WHILE nursing. So it would be easy to think she's starving if that's what people were using as a hunger cue, kwim?

Ditto PP that the sleep thing could be anything, coincidence/part of general babies erratic/changing sleep patterns, or it could be she's missing you and waking for comfort during the night, or teething, or who knows lol.

sdlaura · June 2014

I don't tell my daycare provider what time to feed DS - only what time he last ate. I send more than I think they'll need at the beginning until he falls into a pattern (I did the same with DD). Then I let my daycare provider decide when to feed him based on the cues that she observes. Same with naps. He has now fallen into a schedule since he's been there for over a month, but the first couple weeks were all over the map, and I think that's OK.

I know that some days I get hungry earlier than I thought I would, or end up sleeping late and don't eat as early as normal, or whatever, so I don't expect him to stay on an exact schedule either. My provider keeps a log of feedings, so then I just based the one after I get home on the last time he ate and his cues.

tenfour · June 2014

I think sometimes it's easier to feed the babies than soothe them with other ways so I hear this a lot. If you don't mind giving the milk and are able to keep up with it, I think it's fine. With my daughter I couldn't so I just sent what I had and they were totally able to console her. As I suspected she was crying because she was tired not hungry and once she slept better she ate less and all was well. Now she's almost three and literally hates leaving when I pick her up. But it definitely took some time! I think this transition can be tough on some babes so I think it's par for the course, sadly. I mean unless your mom instinct is telling you something else. I am going to be going through the same thing with my second in a few weeks so I'll be following this post!

tenfour · June 2014

Oh and I definitely think the waking is normal. she misses you! Check reverse cycling.

kak808 · June 2014

Thanks so much for all of the responses! I feel a bit better knowing that this is fairly normal and now having some ideas on how to approach things.

Codypup: We're technically on an every 3 hours schedule, but the person who covers between 11 and 12 says LO is always really hungry then.

DreamingBabies: I asked them today to try to make sure she's actually hungry before feeding her the 2nd bottle early. Also, you could be right about the gas! She definitely had some bad gas last night, which I'm pretty sure caused the first and most screaming wake up.

lala2332: You could also be right about the overtired thing. Yesterday she took 3 20 min naps at DC -- that's not too much. Plus, we are waking her up in the AM before she'd like. The only problem is it seems if we let her sleep too much or too deeply in the evening she won't sleep at all at bedtime (this happened last Friday and she was up til 2am!).

Booger+Bear: She does have a pacifier there, so hopefully they're offering that to her? She won't always take it, but it definitely does help sometimes. She does like to suck

I'll talk to them about her hunger cues. She has one specific cry, LAAAA!, which means "I'm hungry." Any other crying has a different cause. And like you said, my LO is a sucker/hand eater/etc. in general too, so they may take that to mean hungry.

L12541: We also give the last feed info, but then they basically just do every 3 hours after that in theory. However, the woman who looks after her mentioned that she's never making any hungry cues before the ~9:30 session, though she does drink the whole bottle. Maybe they could let her go a little longer on that one? I don't think this DC is really about feeding on demand though. And this girl has literally NEVER refused a bottle or a boob in her life...

MrsL32 · June 2014

I agree with some PP about DC possibly using the milk/feedings to soothe rather than other methods. Also...I had a friend actually send an LC to her DC to work with them on how to most effectively feed BF babies without over-feeding them. I don't know the details or specifics, but apparently it worked well for them. About night time sleep...it could be that your LO is going through the 4MW, or a growth spurt...I'd wait it out for a while to see if he settles back into a rhythm. GL!

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