Secondary IF

P.M.S. Thursday

This week it's all love baby.

Loving YOURSELF is today's focus. We oftentimes are quickly distracted by menial shit that just plain doesn't matter at the end of the day. Whether that is stress at work or home, or you're feeling overwhelmed with all the itty bitty details of your IF journey. Or maybe some insignificant little twat just wanted to stink up your day. Let's get redirected.

This week is all about love. Loving yourself. Your SO. You wee one(s), those in your arms and in heaven. And everyone else who touches your life in a positive way. How do you love yourself? I know that sounds funny, but it's kind of a big deal. YOU matter. And I'm guessing you put yourself LAST in line for a lot of things. Today let's talk about being kind and loving to yourself. Because you are just as important.

P - (P is for pleasure) What physical activity makes you feel better? It could be as simple as a hug, or intense as a marathon. (and yes, sex counts. but let's be honest, who here has fun having sex anymore... ha ha ha)

M - (M is for ME!) Tell me ONE thing you love about yourself. It's not that hard. You can do it. ;-)

S - (S is for supercalifragilisticexpialidocious) What are you good at? BRAG bitches! I want to hear alllz the talentz.
Me: 36, DH: 36
DH's SA = normal
1 tube only wonder
AFC 3-5, AMH 0.30

BFP #1 3/29/11.  EDD 12/4/11... Missed m/c 5/9/11. Cytotec fail. D&C 5/17/11.
BFP #2   7/5/11.  EDD 3/14/12... Our rainbow Kellen born 3/14/12 via c/s.
BFP #3 5/30/13.  EDD 2/8/14...  6wk u/s HB 126. 8wk u/s lost HB. D&C 7/12/13.
BFP #4 2/18/14.  EDD 10/30/14... Ruptured ectopic with L tube removed & D&C 3/7/14.
BFP #5 7/27/14.  EDD 4/9/15...  m/c @ 5w4d.

IVF #1    Oct 2014 - antagonist protocol: 9R, 7M, 5F. 3dt of 3 Grade 2 embies. BFN. 
IVF #2    Jan 2015 cancelled due to dominant follicle.  Converted to IUI #1. BFFN
IVF #2.1 March 2015 cancelled due to dominant follicle.

BFP #6  (SUPRISE!) 3/19/15.  EDD 11/30/15...  CP at 4w2d.
IUI #2:    Clomid + Follistim = 3 follies. BFN.
IVF #2.2 May 2015 - horrible response to micro lupron flare protocol: 3R, 3M, 3F. 3dt of 2 Grade 3 embies. BFFN. 

BFP #7 (beyond surprised again!) 4/26/16. EDD 1/5/17. beautiful betas!!!! and then near-fatal hemorrhagic corpus luteum. turns out baby was ectopic after all; another lap 5/6 (@24dpo).

the universe can fuck off.


 "You are overly paranoid and delusional that every one is out to get you." -lastsliverofhope

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
all AL welcome. TTC #2 for 43 44 months.
follow my infertility journey here at timestandsstillblog.com

Re: P.M.S. Thursday

  • I'll start.

    P - running is my drug. i pop in my headphones and take off. physically it's all-encompassing. the feel of the asphalt on my feet. the wind in my hair. the gravity of each step makes me feel more connected to the earth while in my mind i am GONE. it's just me and the music. no stress. i wish i would make more of an effort to get back into running. i just made it sound fan-fucking-tastic.
    womp womp.

    M - i love my freckles. not only do i think they take 10 years off my age but they cover up zits like a mofo. and they allowed me to be Punky Brewster for halloween 5 times in a row. she was the shizz back in my day.

    S - I am good at my job. Being  a nurse is no breeze, despite what some may think. I bust my ass 13 hours a day caring for complete strangers on death's door. i'm their nurse, their psychiatrist, their parent, and sometimes their only friend. but I treat my patients like if they were my family (well, most of them. some of them are total fucktards who bite, kick spit and scream obscenities at me but I still take care of them.) i see people on their WORST days and get to help them get through it, whether that is healing or letting go. so many times i wake up in the night thinking of them, wondering how they are getting on. and i know i am meant to do this. i make a difference, and damn right i'm proud of that.
    Me: 36, DH: 36
    DH's SA = normal
    1 tube only wonder
    AFC 3-5, AMH 0.30

    BFP #1 3/29/11.  EDD 12/4/11... Missed m/c 5/9/11. Cytotec fail. D&C 5/17/11.
    BFP #2   7/5/11.  EDD 3/14/12... Our rainbow Kellen born 3/14/12 via c/s.
    BFP #3 5/30/13.  EDD 2/8/14...  6wk u/s HB 126. 8wk u/s lost HB. D&C 7/12/13.
    BFP #4 2/18/14.  EDD 10/30/14... Ruptured ectopic with L tube removed & D&C 3/7/14.
    BFP #5 7/27/14.  EDD 4/9/15...  m/c @ 5w4d.

    IVF #1    Oct 2014 - antagonist protocol: 9R, 7M, 5F. 3dt of 3 Grade 2 embies. BFN. 
    IVF #2    Jan 2015 cancelled due to dominant follicle.  Converted to IUI #1. BFFN
    IVF #2.1 March 2015 cancelled due to dominant follicle.

    BFP #6  (SUPRISE!) 3/19/15.  EDD 11/30/15...  CP at 4w2d.
    IUI #2:    Clomid + Follistim = 3 follies. BFN.
    IVF #2.2 May 2015 - horrible response to micro lupron flare protocol: 3R, 3M, 3F. 3dt of 2 Grade 3 embies. BFFN. 

    BFP #7 (beyond surprised again!) 4/26/16. EDD 1/5/17. beautiful betas!!!! and then near-fatal hemorrhagic corpus luteum. turns out baby was ectopic after all; another lap 5/6 (@24dpo).

    the universe can fuck off.


     "You are overly paranoid and delusional that every one is out to get you." -lastsliverofhope

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    all AL welcome. TTC #2 for 43 44 months.
    follow my infertility journey here at timestandsstillblog.com

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  • P -  I have been doing my nails lately.  I already had been doing them, but I learned about Jamberry recently and am having so much fun!  It really does make me feel better about myself overall when my nails are pretty/cute/fun.

    M - I like my eyes.  They are a really nice shade of blue and I really enjoy wearing eye make up that makes them pop. 

    S - I think I'm a good mom.  My kid is cute and happy and I love it that he's started running and giving me head butt hugs.  He likes me, he really likes me.  And it makes me feel like I'm good at what I do.  
    Happily Mrs. C 
    image  image

    image Image and video hosting by TinyPicimage image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
    start ttc #1 in Jan 2009
    dx PCOS in May 2010, begin metformin
    Two failed clomid cycles (made lining too thin)
    Started acupuncture while saving for IVF in Sept 2011
    Add herbal infusions to the mix in Dec 2011
    Hoping holistic approach works!!!

    BFP on April 2012 at 11dpo
    Meepy Man born on Jan 2013 - Hip Hip Hurray!

    Ready to start ttc #2 April 2013, but plan to be an extended BF'er
    Back on metformin Aug 2013
    Restart herbal infusions Sept 2013 - currently drinking nettle, oatstraw, and red raspberry leaf
    DS weaned in April 2014
    Taking a break from herbs and just riding the healthy train.  
    Planning medicated cycle end of summer.  FX I get KU before then!!!
  • Hmmm.

    P = soccer. I was too sick to play last weekend, but there is something wildly therapeutic about running around and kicking the shit out of a soccer ball.

    M = I think my best physical feature is my eyes. They're blue and I like them! My best personality feature would be that I try to see different perspectives (but then the Libra in me gets pissy when other people refuse to take others' perspectives).

    S = I don't toot my own horn a lot, but this is where I have to give myself credit (if I didn't I would go crazy trying to figure out how I could do better): I fight so effing hard for my son. I don't know if he would even be talking right now if I hadn't worked so hard with him for so long. We practice skills all the time and I have to make therapeutic moments out of EVERYTHING we do while still keeping him interested and it is so freaking HARD sometimes! It's like I work 16 hours a day, 7 days a week (because I do that at work all day, too).
  • edited June 2014
    I LOVE this post!

    Mrs Castillo your spirit is great for all of us.

    P - I really enjoy hanging my laundry out in the morning. It's before the heat sets in and all the birds are singing. It's a quite moment all to myself. It's actually a pleasant little chore.

    M - My best physical feature is my long red hair. Really my best feature is that I am very giving and nurturing.

    S- I'm a great mom, my daughter is happy, smart, tenacious and well adjusted. I can sing! and I'm a good photographer (once upon a former pre-child life, I got my degree in photography and had my own business)
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    TTC #2 since 1/1/13

    image    imageimage
  • You guys are awesome and inspiring!!!

    P- nap and cuddle time w my girl. We have coslept since she was a baby and nap together everyday. She is super independent and even if she wants to sit in lap or hang out with me she is nonstop wiggle and crawling all over. So sleepy time and nap time are when she is just cuddle bug comfy huggy bear with arms around me and legs too- they've gotten so long!!!

    M- my quick wit/ cleverness, my Dad used to (and still does) call me Chandler (Friends) and it is nice to be able to come up with things quickly bc it isn't always jokes or snappy come backs but reacting quickly in a situation that requires it instead of being in shock- I have been able to be a great help in many situations and am glad for it.

    S- I am happy with my relationship w y girl. Being a SAHM can be tedious but spending the days teaching her, cooking, baking, experiments, play... It is all something that I just see pay off nonstop. I am ADHD and with her personality being so much like me and so tall I can fill in the holes before they become cracks later and my hope is her self esteem doesn't suffer bc she is different. She is going to know it is ok to have energy and creativity and be a girl who is outgoing (where is always felt like it was wrong to be me) and being tall isn't something she will always be harassed for. I guess mostly I am proud I will be there for her where as my birth mother left me.
    I also am proud of my photography and editing skills (I wish I had majored in it!!!) and would like to go into business w @bananappeal145 :)
    January 2007- Stop BCP! Let's DO this!
    June 2010- MFI. BS. IVF! Ectopic. BS. image

    November 2010- FAILED FET! BS!
    January 2011- BFP FET! TWINS!
    February 2011- lost twin. BS. image

    SEPTEMBER 2011- DD Born! Most awesome girl in the world!

    November 2013- FAILED FET! BS! (screw you November FETs)
    April Fresh Cycle, FAILED. Frozen embryos frozen for future FETs.
    FROZEN CYCLE JUNE! BFP
    BABY BOY VINCENT!
    image

    We can't wait to meet you!
    Conception:image
    imageimage Potato Love!

    BabyFruit Ticker


  • P-- I love it when my girls give me huge hugs and won't let go

    M--I am an amazing friend

    S--I am a super crafty sewing goddess!  I love to sew baby items for my friends, children's aprons and crayon rolls for birthday gifts and I make these awesome casserole carriers and beach bags for my adult friends.  I love to sew!



    imageimageimage
    image
    My FF Chart:
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/490dd7
    TTC #3 since June 2013
    BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
    BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14

    IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IVF #1, Stimmed for 12 days, ER 8/22/14, 9 retrieved, 7M, 7F!!  Freeze all due to fluid in uterus.
    FET end of October 2014 cancelled due to fluid in uterus due to possible c-scar defect
    Surgery scheduled 12/12/14 to fix possible isthmocele
    3/26/15 transferred one 8 cell grade 4 embryo and one 6 cell grade 3 embryo = slow rising betas for 2+ weeks = ectopic MTX shot 4/29/15
    Repeat c-scar surgery June 2015
    2nd and last IVF cycle August 2015, stimmed for 12 days, 2 egg retrieved, both mature and both fertilized.  Transferred both 8-cell embryos on Day 3, beta 9/5/15 = BFFN
    MOVING TO ADOPTION!  


  • P - Going for a nice walk with DH and DD - although today is the first day this week we have had decent weather.  I also joined WW and I've lost 7 lbs so far!

    M - My determination - some might call me stubborn but I get things done.

    S - My job - I made partner at my law firm at 33 - not an easy feat. 
    Me: 35 DH: 35 - Married 10 years
    PCOS and MF

    Two failed rounds IUI in 2010
    IVF #1 in 2011 - BFP 8/5/11 - Our IVF miracle was born 4/8/12
    FET 9/23/13; BFP -Twins-10/3/13; EDD 6/10/14; MC 11/1/13; D&C 11/4/13
    FET 3/28/14; BFN - 4/7/14
    IVF #2 - Transfer 2 embryos 11/14/14; BFP 11/24/14 - Beta 265;
    11/26/14 - Beta 612; 11/28/14 - Beta 1263; 12/1/14 - Beta 3571;
    12/3/14 - first u/s - two gestational sacs; 12/17/14 - two healthy heartbeats (132 and 134)
    Our IVF miracles were born 7/16/15

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    image
  • tachetache member
    P: bodypump. I feel so strong after and I love when I look at some guys in the class and I have as much weight as them on my bars. I feel like a total badass.

    M: legs. They are long. Which is rare to find pants long enough but they look awesome in shorts. Plus I never gain weight there!

    S: organized. I attribute our family staying afloat in the past 9 crazy months to the fact that I keep everything in our life so organized that a lot of balls can keep going at once.
  • P - Hugs and snuggling with my LOs. I'm hoping now that things are slowing down I can get back to the gym and start running again. I miss it.

    M - My hair. Even though it feels like its all falling out, thanks a lot stupid hormones, I love the length and the new way I style it. It took me 30 years to be able to say that about my hair.

    S - Sewing and crafts. My 4 yr old has been asking for Anna's coronation dress since we first saw Frozen in Nov. No one sells that dress so I made one for her party today. She looked just like Anna!!! My (almost) 6 yr old wanted Elsa's dress. Again, can't find it anywhere (for a reasonable price) plus she wears a size 7 so I made hers as well. It turned out beautifully! 
    DD 6/17/08, DD 6/9/10, DD 12/15/11
    BFP 5/24/13 - Natural MC 6/7/13
    BFP 8/13/13 - Natural MC 8/27/13
    Ovarian Mass = removal of left ovary & tube 9/13
    BFP 4/24/14 - Tubal Pregnancy 5/7/14
    Removal of  ruptured right tube 5/8/14
    IVF or adoption??
  • P- I love kayaking. Or running. Or basically just being outside and moving. Gardening is right up there too. 

    M- I struggle with this one. It has always been an uphill battle for me to feel good about the way I look. I am trying though. I love my legs. Especially in a pair of heels.

    S- I'm an excellent executor. I know how to drive hard and get stuff done. And I feel like my reputation reflects my ability to sort out complicated problems.
    After two losses, a rainbow arrived! DD born 11.5.11
    Dx with severe Asherman's syndrome after a botched PP D&C (pursuing med mal)
    Hysteroscopy Oct '13, not enough progress 
    Hysteroscopy Jan '14, given an end-of-the-road diagnosis
    Joined International Asherman's Association April '14 
    Not ready to give up yet.
    Hysteroscopy with Dr. Isaacson (an expert in the USA) 6.2.14: Good prognosis, at least 50% of cavity open.
    Repeat hysteroscopy scheduled with Dr. I on 6.16.14. Great progress. Unbenched!!!!
    Discussing actively TTC with DH after the heartache of the last year. We're both reeling.
     
    Please, please, please. 
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