I am laying in bed watching the clock until it's time to leave for my 11:15 ultrasound appointment. I am on the verge of a full-fledged panic attack. I'm so scared of what I might learn today. Can you guys just keep me in your thoughts and prayers today? I need some good juju, even if it's just to help keep me calm.
I have never wished so hard for anything in my life as I'm wishing to see a healthy heartbeat thumping away today.
*UPDATE*************
Well, I just left my appointment. No heartbeat yet. They said everything is on track and where it's supposed to be for 5w5d. They want me to come back at 7 weeks to make sure they can see the heartbeat. I'm disappointed, but feel terrible for being disappointed. I should be grateful that everything looks good for now.
I just want to binge eat chipotle in bed and cry until the 23rd for my 7 week appointment.
Until then, here's my mantra: my love for this baby is greater than my fear.
Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers this morning. I really appreciate it.

Married August 2009
BFP#1 12/19/13 * EDD 8/24/14 * MMC Discovered 2/04/14
BFP#2 5/27/14 * EDD 2/8/15 * Please be our rainbow
Re: 6w ultrasound today- already crying *updated*
Ava's Story

BFP#2 10/18/13 Blighted ovum 11/25/13
BFP #3 1/31/14 EDD 10/18/14 -- It's a GIRL!
BFP #1 9/27/2013, EDD 6/10/2014, Mmc 11/01/2013, completed with misoprostol 11/8/2013
BFP #2 2/5/2014, EDD 10/15/2014, Lillian Verletta born 10/23/14
PAL January Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
first son stillborn 7/20/13 at 39 weeks due to Acute Fatty Liver of Pregnancy
It's a girl! Baby Anna was born August 3, 2014!
BFP #2: EDD 9/3/13~~Slow HB at 1st U/S~~MMC -Loss on 2/13/13
TTC Since 04/01/13
BFP #1 04/28/13 Its twins! EDD 01/08/2014 MMC confirmed 06/27/13 D&C 07/17/13
BFP#2 05/19/14 EDD 01/30/2015 Please be our rainbow!
My Ovulation Chart
*~*~* All AL Welcome*~*~*
Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014
BFP#1 EDD 04.20.2010, SUNSHINE baby boy born 03.31.2010
BFP#2 EDD 12.07.2014, natural mc 04.09.2014 at 5w3d
BFP#3 EDD 01.14.15, RAINBOW baby girl born 01.16.2015
jan'15 january siggy challenge: baby fails
A little bit about me...
Married my awesome guy on 12/27/08
DD Lucy Rae born on 11/16/2010
Loss #1: November 29, 2012 at 8w1d
Loss #2: June 9, 2013 at 13w (Amelia Grace)
BFP #4: We are having a BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peter Matthew was born on July 16, 2014!!! Welcome to our family!
"If anyone asks me how many children I have, the answer is 4. Just two of them live in Heaven."
*All are welcome in my posts*I just want to binge eat chipotle in bed and cry until the 23rd for my 7 week appointment.
Until then, here's my mantra: my love for this baby is greater than my fear.
Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers this morning. I really appreciate it.
Married August 2009
BFP#1 12/19/13 * EDD 8/24/14 * MMC Discovered 2/04/14
BFP#2 5/27/14 * EDD 2/8/15 * Please be our rainbow
BFP #2 11/3/10; BO at u/s 10w6d 12/16/10; Natural MC 1/7/11; D&C 4/21/11
BFP #3 10/27/11 Please stick, LO!! 2/6/12 It's a Girl! Alexis Grace born 6/29/12
BFP#4 4/27/14 Stick, stick, stick!! 8/11/14 It's a Boy! Evan Wesley born 1/8/15
"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that is patience." Let it Be (blog) ♥ My BFP Charts
This time I'm not leaving without you.
January PAL siggie challenge; Good advice:
Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014
BFP#1 EDD 04.20.2010, SUNSHINE baby boy born 03.31.2010
BFP#2 EDD 12.07.2014, natural mc 04.09.2014 at 5w3d
BFP#3 EDD 01.14.15, RAINBOW baby girl born 01.16.2015
jan'15 january siggy challenge: baby fails
A little bit about me...
Married my awesome guy on 12/27/08
DD Lucy Rae born on 11/16/2010
Loss #1: November 29, 2012 at 8w1d
Loss #2: June 9, 2013 at 13w (Amelia Grace)
BFP #4: We are having a BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peter Matthew was born on July 16, 2014!!! Welcome to our family!
"If anyone asks me how many children I have, the answer is 4. Just two of them live in Heaven."
*All are welcome in my posts*TTC since Sept 2011, Unexplained IF
Oct 12 - Jan 14: 3 clomid/TI cycles, 2 hysteroscopies, 2 IUIs, 1 BFP (MMC @ 12w), 2 more IUIs
Feb 14: Gonal-f + IUI #5 = BFP! (EDD 11/4/14)
Baby boy arrived 11/13/14!
"It's, not, where you are, it's where you're going,
And it's, not, about the things you've done, it's what you're doing, now"
TTC Journey Began 8/12
BFP #1 11/9/12, MMC/D&C 12/21/12 @ 9w2d, EDD 7/24/13
SAs: 2%-3% Morph - RE Official Diagnosis Unexplained
BFN = IUI #1 (Clomid) | IUI #2 (Letrozole)
BFP #2 4/19/14 = IUI #3 (Letrozole)
Expecting Our Elf 12/27/14
~All Welcome~
BFP #2 5/7/13 EDD 1/14/2014 Ectopic discovered 5/21/13, lost left tube
Referred to RE, blood work done August 2013, AMH 0.27, all else normal, HSG clear
TTC #1 since 5/2010 dx: annovulatory
RLP: 2/2012: normal HSG 3/2012: normal
BFP #1 7/20/11 M/C 7/25/11. BFP #2 11/29/11 M/C 12/21/11
I have two angel babies that I will see again one day
BFP #3 10/27/12 EDD: 7/6/13
Baby Emma arrived at 35 weeks by surprise on June 3rd, 2013!!
BFP #4: 5/23/14 EDD: 1/30/15 Emma's gonna be a big sister!
Beta #1 19DPO: 213 Beta #2 21DPO: 674
Married August 2009
BFP#1 12/19/13 * EDD 8/24/14 * MMC Discovered 2/04/14
BFP#2 5/27/14 * EDD 2/8/15 * Please be our rainbow
first son stillborn 7/20/13 at 39 weeks due to Acute Fatty Liver of Pregnancy
It's a girl! Baby Anna was born August 3, 2014!
Married August 2009
BFP#1 12/19/13 * EDD 8/24/14 * MMC Discovered 2/04/14
BFP#2 5/27/14 * EDD 2/8/15 * Please be our rainbow
BFP #1, 3/12, EDD 11/9/12, MMC 3/27/12, D&C 4/10/12
BFP #2: 11/16/12, EDD 7/25/13, MMC 12/5/12, D&C 12/6/12, Complete molar pregnancy confirmed 2/9/13, benched for 6 months until August 2013
IUI #1, 8/16/13 Femara + Menopur, 3 mature follicles, BFN
IUI #3, 10/8/13 Femara + Menopur, six mature follicles, BFN
BFP #3, 12/9/2013, while on treatment break, EDD: 8/22/2014 Please stick and grow, LO!
Additional Dx: hypothyroidism, TgAb positive & anti-TPO positive, POR/DOR (2/2013), and suspected endometriosis
******All AL always welcome******
My Ovulation Chart Fruit