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dealing with traumatic birth

saraphaeriesaraphaerie member
in June 2014 Moms
So, we are home after 8 days in the hospital. I went in to be induced because of gestational diabetes last Thursday, and came home around the same time a full week later with a beautiful, tiny, perfect baby girl named Cora Josephine. I'm so overjoyed about my little girl, but haven't even started to process how she came into the world... 

I won't go into all of the details (because really, all you need to do is read a textbook!), but here's what I experienced:
--induction with unfavorable cervix (i.e. high and posterior, not effaced before I came in. In other words, not ready.) It took 4 days, with 2 cervical ripeners, a foley catheter, pitocin, water being broken, more pitocin, and an epidural to finally get into active labor. I'd been there from Thursday noon to Saturday around 3 before I got to push.
--I pushed for 3 hours. I had gotten an epidural (good advice from friends who'd had long inductions) and so wasn't in excruciting pain, but I had to go down on the dose to "feel" the contractions. I had no idea I'd pushed that long until afterwards. 
--THEN the doctor came in and did a pelvic exam. Baby girl was turned... there was no getting around it.
--I had a c-section and spent another 4 days in the hospital. 

Nothing about this was in itself the thing that made things traumatic, but I'm having a hard time processing that it all did. Anyone else out there have an especially long hospital stay/string of minor complications that led in the end to C-section? I'm just trying to figure out how to get started in even understanding what happened (plus baby blues setting in... crocodile tears!). 

Thanks, ladies. 


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Re: dealing with traumatic birth

  • curlylocks3curlylocks3 member
    I wasn't in the same position as you but my delivery was traumatizing for other reasons. I have been working through it by talking to my regular therapist as well as my husband and am slowly feeling more able to accept that it was totally beyond my control and focusing on the end result. I'm not ignoring the events of delivery or minimizing, just accepting them for what they are. It's been 5 weeks and it's not something I enjoy thinking about but I'm finding it much easier to deal with than it was.
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  • ElTrain5ElTrain5 member
    Here is a really good article
    From midwifery today about recovering from birth trauma. Best of luck in your journey. https://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/healing_trauma.asp

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  • nunzchucksnunzchucks member
    I had a similar birth experience excluding your long induction. My first birth was an easy vaginal delivery so this was shocking. I've talked it through with a few of my friends who had c-sections to get their sympathy and experiences. DH has hashed it out with me several times. If you still find you are having issues, @curlylocks3‌'s suggestion of a therapist is spot on.
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  • PressLovePressLove member
    I agree with PP. Please utilize your support system. Everyone's birth story is different. Whether it is a c-section or vaginal birth, the end goal was accomplished and you have a baby to love. Similarly, a marriage with a big wedding isn't any better than a marriage done by the Justice of the peace. They're just different.

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  • littlemissmarlalittlemissmarla member
    edited June 2014
    I'm sorry you had a traumatic experience in a time that was supposed to be exciting :( hope you can find some ways to heal emotionally. Enjoy your new little one! :)

    ETA: sorry i'm from July 14! thought i was posting on that board. the sentiments still stand though!
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  • MrsP419MrsP419 member
    I had a hard birth experience with my first and what helped was writing it out in detail and including how I felt, even if the feeling were negative. I shared it with friends and while nothing changed, it was cathartic. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
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  • iris427iris427 member
    My first delivery was similar and I had a hard time with it too.  I really think it contributed to PPD for me.  Being able to talk to other moms who had similar experiences, and just giving myself time to process things and make peace with it, are what helped me.  Be patient with yourself and cut yourself some slack.  

    The good news is my second delivery was a completely different experience, 
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  • vv826vv826 member
    I'm sorry that it was traumatic for you and though I have no insight I send you *hugs* and prayers, and I agree with PP turn to your support system!
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  • RedMarRedMar member
    I'm sorry to hear about your experience. How frustrating being prematurely induced only to wind up in the OR for a cesarean. Hang in there mama!! Come here for support at any time...
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  • Ashes92813Ashes92813 member
    @saraphaerie‌, my pregnancy/induction/birth experience was very draining, weeks 30-34 and post partum. My birth experience was actually very similar to yours, I endured 50 hours of it only to end up in a c section.

    I can empathize with you about your feelings and definitely encourage you to seek out a therapist if you need one. If you need help doing this, I can walk you through the process. My birth story is linked to the official thread if you want to check it out.

    Please feel free to send me a private message anytime, I'm here for you and can relate. I'll send you one this weekend as well... I'd write more but my hungry little baby is summoning me ;)
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  • hjl050308hjl050308 member
    I second seeking out a professional. I had a very traumatic birth with my second (I don't like to post the specifics on here because I don't want to scare anyone) and never took anyone's advice to get help. With this pregnancy I was a mess and found I didn't enjoy it as I should have because if my left over issues from DS2s birth.
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  • ncbellencbelle member
    Hugs mama - I agree that it's important to talk about your experience and your feelings - yes, you have a healthy baby but your emotions around the birth are valid and important too.  The articles linked above are great but I'd also say reach out both here and in real life.


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  • flerlgirlflerlgirl member
    Ditto on the therapist or even just someone you can be open with like a pastor or friend. And it's okay that you are still processing. There is no specific time when you should or will be able make your peace with it, so just take your time and process it as you're ready.





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  • cspencer85cspencer85 member
    I had a long induction as well, due to low amniotic fluid. My induction took three days with two doses of cervadil, pitocin the next day all day, then finally three doses of cytotec the last day. I just wouldn't dilate for some reason. Took forever!
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  • Mom&nurseMom&nurse member
    I had a very traumatic birth story as well. But they lost my LO heat beat and were cutting while I was still awake and feeling everything. Plus I had to wait 24 hrs to see my baby. I saw her on a computer screen.

    I was diagnosed with ppd and they think its more PTSD but waiting to classify it. Let me know if u need anything. I had to get on meds and talking helps. I wrote a long birth story on here too. That helped. I had to have people tell me who were there over and over again what happened and how they felt. I had a hard time bonding too. I still struggle and my LO is 1 month old.
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  • MollySmMollySm member
    My labor with my daughter was not nearly that long, but it was long enough and traumatic.  I found talking about it over and over again, writing it out, and just being able to admit to anyone who asked that I found it traumatic (as opposed to some beautiful moment, which it was in it's own way, but at the moment I just found it traumatic) was the best thing for me.  It's okay.  Birth doesn't have to be beautiful and magical, it's messy and painful and often doesn't go as planned.  It has  no bearing on how much we love our babies, it's just a fact of life.  It took awhile, but eventually I got over it, and when I got pregnant this time and my pregnancy progressed, I actually got so excited again about the prospect of birth.  My husband always tells me I'm nuts to be excited to get into it again, but here I am :)
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