single mommas (or away spouse)

Missfunball · June 2014

Hey just curious to see who here is doi ng things alone.

I've got a couple more moths of Day being away and away from family. Any tips and tricks you've learned? I find since he's my first that when he does sleep or us not crying or needing something I either want to watch him or relax and it's leading to a huge loss in productivity .

Anyways just checking in. Good to be back!

coreyeliz · June 2014

I'm also down on productivity. DH works ridiculous hours right now so lots of days we don't see him. We all hate it. But I've kind of just made peace with the situation and I'm going to let some things slide until LO is a little bigger. I go back to work on Monday, and I know I'm going to want to snuggle my little girl more than I'll want to clean the house, so we're all just going to have to deal for a while. I know eventually it will drive me crazy, but I can't seem to get it all done.

erind0213 · June 2014

DH works overnights and then sleeps during the day and picks up as much overtime as possible. Although he is "around" he is useless during the time he sleeps, and doesn't give me much of a break. While not 100% the same, I can relate a little.

With DD he was on rotating first and 2nd shift and he was a lot more hands on so this has been an adjustment and I am grateful DS has been a fairly decent sleeper.

My productivity has been pretty good for having the 2 kids. We still go out and about and keep busy, and dinner, laundry and cleaning gets done. It just might take longer then before, which is frustrating to an extent, but so far I still think I have sanity left.

VanessaBee · June 2014

I'm a single momma! I have a SO, but we don't live together...we're complicated.

I could literally spend all day staring at and playing with Baby. The day never has enough hours in it. He doesn't have a set schedule in terms of "x" occurs at "y" hour every day, but I do have things I do during each nap. Like first nap is always my time to shower and get ready for the day, second nap is work (I'm working from home for a few more weeks before returning to the office), third nap is housework, etc... Having those expectations and goals for myself helps the day feel more organized and productive. Now if only he'd sleep for more than 40 minutes at a time!

I also admit to passing off a bit of the housework on a cleaning service. We have a company called $10 A Room here. They charge $10 a room (obviously...) and will do as many or as few rooms as you want. Having them just do a room or two, now or then, isn't too expensive and it's a HUGE help. I also sometimes hire a sitter and just stay home with her/him and Baby, but use the time to get things done. My mum is a huge help, too. She oftens comes and watches Baby so that I can work some extra hours. She's the best.

Missfunball · June 2014

NewMomma8 your schedule had me exhausted just reading it!

Go you.

I have learned to relax a little bit and lists have become by best best friend. How in the world I survived without them before pregnancy is beyond me.

laurstarx · June 2014

I'm a single mom. LOs father hasn't even seen her at all. I'm lucky enough to have my mom dad and brothers to help., but when I get home for work I want to just spend time with her and/or relax and it, too, leads to a lack in productivity. Between working and taking care of her and her father not being around to help.. It's hard to keep on top of things all the time.

If you need to talk or vent or anything feel free to contact me!

ufsandra85 · June 2014

my husband has been home 12 nights since our baby was born. i do everything by myself. i do it by getting little sleep, never watching tv and only playing online when i am at work. well except tonight because i said screw it. I am about to go live in a hotel with my baby for 4 weeks for work so he will have more time away from us and then when i come back he leaves again for another month. Then in Jan he is pretty much going to be gone the entire time till Oct 2015. i am really looking forward to being a single parent (note scarcasm)

maganonymous · June 2014

I don't have any advice for now, other than to say I will be joining the group of away SO/single mom's soon! My DH just took a job in Iowa (we live in Minnesota) and so he will be gone all week and home most weekends. Not gonna lie, I'm a little (well, A LOT) nervous about handling our household on my own! I've already started planning on how I am going to keep it together. Also, I am so thankful for my super amazing stepdaughter (who is 6 1/2). She is so good with her baby sister and at helping me with little chores around the house, like feeding the dogs or picking up the living room. She is only going to be here with me in the summer, but having her around will help with the transition so much.

WoodShopGirl · June 2014

Just wanted to join in in the commiseration. MH left today for what was supposed to be 7-10 days. He booked another out of state job in the meantime, so now it will be 2-2.5 weeks. I am not nervous about keeping up (I am not a very good housekeeper to begin with). I am more nervous about lack of adult interaction.

ufsandra85 · June 2014

Laura8388 said:
Wow @ufsandra85‌ - I feel like I should know this, but what does your husband do?

We are both in the military. He is on submarines

Missfunball · June 2014

@ufsandra85‌ I assume a fast attack with that scrappy deployment time?

@WoodShopGirl‌ man oh man, 2.5 weeks will probably be a little easier because at 2weeks you hit a stride instead of chaos in changing schedules up.

@LakeCountryGal‌ absolutely join in, frankly having you DH be home and useless, sometimes is harder. I know my DH is gone and can't help, even though yours technically can it's hard and leaves probably both of you not as happy. Definitely set aside a date night. It's what kept me and my hubs sane when he was doing 60hour weeks

ufsandra85 · June 2014

Missfunball said:

@ufsandra85‌ I assume a fast attack with that scrappy deployment time? @WoodShopGirl‌ man oh man, 2.5 weeks will probably be a little easier because at 2weeks you hit a stride instead of chaos in changing schedules up. @LakeCountryGal‌ absolutely join in, frankly having you DH be home and useless, sometimes is harder. I know my DH is gone and can't help, even though yours technically can it's hard and leaves probably both of you not as happy. Definitely set aside a date night. It's what kept me and my hubs sane when he was doing 60hour weeks

Yes, deployments, underways, shiftwork, and trainings in NY all equal I cant wait for his retirement in Oct 2015!

Missfunball · June 2014

@ufsandra85‌ shift work.....the only thing worse than deployment

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