Do I have a baby shower?

Jessicah6 · May 2014

This will be my 3rd kid and I know typically You wouldn't have a 3rd shower. The only thing is my last kid was 8 years ago. Never thought I would have another. So I have nothing baby left. I don't want to be rude and ask but would it be rude?

I am editing this. I wouldn't ask for my own. I just meant accept one.

YaMrWhite · May 2014

Yes. You shouldn't ask for your own baby shower. Just my 2 cents.

mshepherd20 · May 2014

I don't see it being a problem having a shower, if someone offers to throw you one.

My younger brother is 10 yrs younger than me and my family threw a surprise shower for my mom. It's understandable when there's a large age gap.

Jessicah6 · May 2014

I didn't mean ask. I would never ask. I guess I more meant accept one. I am not one to ever ask for stuff. And thank you all for the comments! Makes me feels better about it.

YaMrWhite · May 2014

Jessicah6 said:
I didn't mean ask. I would never ask. I guess I more meant accept one. I am not one to ever ask for stuff. And thank you all for the comments! Makes me feels better about it.

Oh ok. You did say ask though.

jennkg3 · May 2014

mshepherd20 said:

I don't see it being a problem having a shower, if someone offers to throw you one. This. Honestly, I'm close with my mom I would probably just tell her I really want one and not exactly ask. My brother and I were also 10 years apart and someone threw her a shower for him. My younger brother is 10 yrs younger than me and my family threw a surprise shower for my mom. It's understandable when there's a large age gap.

Maebb · May 2014

Ha ha, for some reason I thought that "sprinkles" thread was about cupcake sprinkles, and I didn't even open it.

I agree that it would be rude to ask but not rude to accept it. But like...if the shower is thrown by your family, and everyone who is invited is family, that's ok, but if it's thrown by someone like your mom or sister but invites are sent to lots of friends and acquaintances, I don't know how I would feel about that.

jennkg3 · May 2014

Ya know what? Screw it, this is your baby. I don't know your individual situation but if people think it's odd screw them! It's been 8 years! I say enjoy it and don't worry what anyone else thinks you can't make them everyone happy so if your not hurting anyone make yourself happy!

firespirit717 · May 2014

Definitely don't ask for a shower. Even if it was your first baby you never ask for a shower. If someone wants to take the time, effort, and money to throw you a shower then you will have one. Otherwise you buy everything you need yourself.

peggels24 · May 2014

I would wait to worry about it until someone asked me if they could throw me one. In the meantime, I would just assume that I was not having one and proceed like that.

kolaczka · May 2014

My feeling is that if you want a shower, have one. For that matter throw your own. I think of a shower as an opportunity to celebrate a new life. I am not sure why the 3rd is worth celebrating any less. If you don't need or want anything don't provide a registry or simply state that you have everything you need and that guests are just expected to bring themselves.

YaMrWhite · May 2014

kolaczka said:

My feeling is that if you want a shower, have one. For that matter throw your own. I think of a shower as an opportunity to celebrate a new life. I am not sure why the 3rd is worth celebrating any less. If you don't need or want anything don't provide a registry or simply state that you have everything you need and that guests are just expected to bring themselves.

Baby showers aren't just about celebrating the impending arrival of a baby. They are to "shower" the mom with gifts. The OP stated she did not have anything left meaning she does need stuff. It is really, really tacky to host your own baby shower and comes across very "gift-grabby" to many people. If you want to celebrate the new baby but don't need anything, then you don't need to have a baby shower but instead a "come meet the baby" party or "come celebrate the impending arrival of our new bundle of joy" party. If I got invited to a baby shower hosted by the baby mama, I would probably not come. No, I definitely wouldn't come.

motherboy · May 2014

kolaczka said:
My feeling is that if you want a shower, have one. For that matter throw your own. I think of a shower as an opportunity to celebrate a new life. I am not sure why the 3rd is worth celebrating any less. If you don't need or want anything don't provide a registry or simply state that you have everything you need and that guests are just expected to bring themselves.

A shower is for the mom to welcome her into motherhood. It is tacky to throw yourself any gift giving event.

kolaczka · May 2014

Call the party whatever you want, it is just semantics. If you are judging your friends or family's motivation I think it is more about you and your relationship to that person. If you feel used by being asked to celebrate a happy, life changing event, please by all means, don't show up.

YaMrWhite said:

kolaczka said:

My feeling is that if you want a shower, have one. For that matter throw your own. I think of a shower as an opportunity to celebrate a new life. I am not sure why the 3rd is worth celebrating any less. If you don't need or want anything don't provide a registry or simply state that you have everything you need and that guests are just expected to bring themselves.

Baby showers aren't just about celebrating the impending arrival of a baby. They are to "shower" the mom with gifts. The OP stated she did not have anything left meaning she does need stuff. It is really, really tacky to host your own baby shower and comes across very "gift-grabby" to many people. If you want to celebrate the new baby but don't need anything, then you don't need to have a baby shower but instead a "come meet the baby" party or "come celebrate the impending arrival of our new bundle of joy" party. If I got invited to a baby shower hosted by the baby mama, I would probably not come. No, I definitely wouldn't come.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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cls2015 · May 2014

I think I read somewhere that "proper etiquette" is to only have a second shower or a sprinkle if your kids are over five years apart. You definitely fit into this idea.

Because your children are eight years apart, your family and friends will probably understand that you no longer have your baby stuff and someone will want to throw you a shower. As others said, just wait for them to ask...

Jessicah6 · May 2014

Thank you everyone for your feed back! I appreciate it .

Bigboneded · May 2014

Good luck. I've been to tons of showers, I like shopping from a registry, I enjoy celebrating baby's life, but also recognize babies are expensive.
my DH thinks we will be having showers-ha!
I have no friends or family here, his kids are grown and we are in our 40 s. You can knock me over with a feather if someone has a shower for me, unless I go home to Denver or Chicago.
I hope someone throws you a couple showers ;-) and I think it is always polite to graciously accept! :-)

kinsquared · May 2014

Like others said, wait till someone asks. However, you can still register or create a amazon wish list (I search for these when moms are pregnant with a second). If people don't throw a shower but ask what you want you can point them in that direction. Granted I would put more moderate priced items on it than a regular registry. If nobody asks you can still use the completition discount for all the stuff you would buy a anyways

atmaloney · June 2014

1. Don't ask. It is extremely rude to ask, and tacky as all hell.

2. If someone offers, don't accept. Along with it being TACKY AS HELL, this is your THIRD child. Baby showers are to welcome the woman into motherhood. You clearly are already in that realm.

3. Call it what you want, a sprinkle, tinkle, speshul snowflake party, it's FUCKING TACKY. You just don't do it.

mstc83 · June 2014

Do what's right for you and your family. Would I ask coworkers or friends? No. However, when it comes to family I'd tell them I'd like a small shower and I know there would be no judgment, only excitement. You have to know your crowd : )

MrsMCBMar2014 · June 2014

Jessicah6 said:

This will be my 3rd kid and I know typically You wouldn't have a 3rd shower. The only thing is my last kid was 8 years ago. Never thought I would have another. So I have nothing baby left. I don't want to be rude and ask but would it be rude?

Personally, NO, you can't have your own shower. If someone offers to throw it, then yes. It would then be considered just a party because after your first there is no such thing as another 'shower."

cls2015 · June 2014

I read somewhere that "proper etiquette" is to only accept a second shower if it is more than five years after your last child. You fit into this easily.

If someone offers, I say go for it (maybe a bit more low-key than your first, though).

mellie86041 · June 2014

Generally speaking - whether it's your first, fifth, or there's a 15-year gap - its usually considered rude/tacky to ask for your own shower.

However, if someone were to offer one for you, especially if there is a big gap between babies, I don't think there's any problem with accepting.

ETA: spelling error

lavet22 · June 2014

I am fanatical about this subject. If someone OFFERS to throw you a baby shower, yes, go ahead and say yes. DO NOT, under any circumstances, ASK someone to throw you a baby shower. DO NOT throw your own shower. The rules are, if there has been significant time since your last child (8yrs fits this) OR if you are having a different sex than your previous child, a baby shower is okay. BUT ONLY IF SOMEONE OFFERS!!!!!!

bosredsoxgirl14 · June 2014

Usually if your last baby was over 5 years ago or a different sex a shower is completely appropriate! Gosh my cousin has 4 boys and had a shower for all 4

nbates2 · June 2014

Wow, this thread is really depressing. She was just asking a question, judgmental comments and cursing about how tacky someone or something is is the real "tacky". That's not what this forum is for.

AggieMom0809 · June 2014

Jessicah6 said:

This will be my 3rd kid and I know typically You wouldn't have a 3rd shower. The only thing is my last kid was 8 years ago. Never thought I would have another. So I have nothing baby left. I don't want to be rude and ask but would it be rude?

Don't ask for your own, but hopefully you will still get one. It will have been 5 years from my last and while I still have a ton of clothes and a few other things, we are going to need a lot of basics too. I don't want to ask for a shower and I'm sure my friends will be doing a diaper shower, but I'm doing cloth most of them have no clue as to where to start shopping for them.

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