Tell me it gets better?

traveltheworld · June 2014

Ok, this is mostly a vent. DS is 2 and lately, every morning and bedtime has been a struggle. From the moment he wakes up, it's "no" to getting dressed, brushing teeth, going downstairs, getting into the car, buckling the seat - just every little thing needed to get us out the door and to DC. By the time we finally get going to DC/work, I'm already exhausted. Then it's the same thing with bedtime. He fights every little thing, and ends up finally going to bed at 8:30 - 9, which I think is way too late.

We offer choices, give lots of praise when he cooperates and try to be patient. Weekends are way better, but I'm really having a hard time enjoying our time together during the week since it's always dictated by the clock and his unwillingness to do what needs to be done. I know he is 2, but I just feel exhausted dealing with it every day.

kimberlybethh · June 2014

I mostly lurk but wanted to respond since I could have written this post. DD will be two next month and we are going through the same thing right now. I dread getting her ready every morning because it is always a fight. I don't have any great advice since it sounds like we are both doing the same things with offering choices, praise, etc. but wanted to sympathize. I keep telling myself this is a phase and it will pass. Hang in there!

Jills83 · June 2014

I feel your pain. My DS will be 3 soon and we have gone through a few periods just like what you described in the past year. I have found that he often acts like this when he isn't getting enough sleep. As much as I hate cutting down the already short amount of time we have together in the evenings, I had to make his bed time earlier so that he wasn't a monster in the mornings. When he gets more sleep at night he is way more cooperative when getting ready for DC. Up until the last few weeks we had him going to bed by 8:00. Now we can push it to 9:00 and he is fine.

A few other things that helped: giving him dinner right away when we get home. He gets "hangry" if we wait until our dinner is ready. Letting "things" go and giving 100% attention for an hour or so when we get home - lots of cuddling and one on one play. And this might be flameful, but bribery in the morning. I would give DS "cookies" for breakfast if he was a good boy and helped me get ready. The cookies were either homemade breakfast cookies or those Bel Vita breakfast biscuits.

traveltheworld · June 2014

I agree with the lack of sleep part - DS is way worst if he doesn't get enough sleep. That's why I feel even more pressure trying to get him to bed every time and that's a struggle too.

We have dinner on the table within 15 minutes of getting home so he gets at least an hour of "play time" before we start our bedtime routine. I'm just frustrated because it seems like no matter what we do, it's still a struggle, always.

skibunny59 · June 2014

DD turned 2 in March and mornings are super tough for us. I F**ing hate rushing out the door in the morning. I don't like working period but the morning rush is my least favorite part of being a working mom.

Anyway, I always end up rushing DD to get her ready. She fights me to do things herself. Some things she can do and does them. Some things she can do but she dilly dallies. Some things she insists on doing even though she can't do them yet. I always get frustrated at her and I feel like such a bad mommy because of this.

At night I kind of just try to forget about the time and just go with it. I try to enjoy our time together and I don't think about how many books we've already read, how long it's taken her to try to put her pjs on by herself, how long she's been in the bathtub, the endless list of things I have to do after she's in bed, etc. I've been at work all day so I really do try to cherish bedtime and if it takes an hour or two, so be it. I know it's hard because we're so busy but I am happier when I am more relaxed about it and DD is happier and more cooperative.

I'm not sure how to solve the morning issue. I figure it just goes along with being a working mom. Man, do I hate mornings. I can't wait for summer (only 1 week away!!)

leahandbuck · June 2014

Those of you that have dinner as soon as you get home, how do you do that and what types of dinners do you give them? DD is always hungry when we get home but it takes me some time to get dinner done so I feel like I am always giving her snacks but I feel bad telling her to wait when she is saying she is hungry.

SoMoNY · June 2014

I thought 2 was bad but then he turned 3 and then he turned 4. I heard it gets better at age 5, that right now they feel the need to be their own boss.

To get our son in bed sooner we let him pick which books we would read and what school/learning activities we would review, it made him more excited about heading up to his room.

mittensonkittens · June 2014

I've been there. You have my sympathies. I don't think it gets easier, but you eventually figure out tricks to deal with it. Two year olds want to do things themselves, and you can use that to your advantage. If I asked DS2 to come downstairs and he didn't want to, I would count to 3. If he wasn't doing it by 3, I would pick him up and carry him downstairs. If he didn't let us brush his teeth, we would count to 3, and then hold him down and brush them. He didn't like it, but it was over in a couple minutes, and then everyone was happy. It was much better than fighting him about it. I counted to 3 a lot. And I picked up a kicking, screaming toddler a lot too. Raising toddlers is very physical.

emberlee3 · June 2014

I wouldn't say it gets better, it just gets different.
I do whatever I can to simplify mornings and evenings. Routine is key, so they know what to expect. My kids also tend to cooperate more when they have jobs to do.

SoMoNY · June 2014

ms.mittens said:

I've been there. You have my sympathies. I don't think it gets easier, but you eventually figure out tricks to deal with it. Two year olds want to do things themselves, and you can use that to your advantage. If I asked DS2 to come downstairs and he didn't want to, I would count to 3. If he wasn't doing it by 3, I would pick him up and carry him downstairs. If he didn't let us brush his teeth, we would count to 3, and then hold him down and brush them. He didn't like it, but it was over in a couple minutes, and then everyone was happy. It was much better than fighting him about it. I counted to 3 a lot. And I picked up a kicking, screaming toddler a lot too. Raising toddlers is very physical.

My 4 year old had taken up yelling "DON'T COUNT" when I do the 1..2..3 trick

Good thing they are cute!

Good article about 3 vs. 2

https://www.scarymommy.com/three-is-more-terrible-than-two/#sthash.XiYeoo7v.gbpl

Ago · June 2014

My child was absolutely wicked in the mornings at three. She hates being woken up in the morning, even now. We do a slow transition to wake now. It took a LOT of trial and error. A friend of mine has a two year old and she lets her take two Thomas trains to daycare if she is good in the morning, but if she has problems, she only takes one.

traveltheworld · June 2014

leahandbuck said:
Those of you that have dinner as soon as you get home, how do you do that and what types of dinners do you give them? DD is always hungry when we get home but it takes me some time to get dinner done so I feel like I am always giving her snacks but I feel bad telling her to wait when she is saying she is hungry.

I wash and chop everything either on Sunday or the night before, and literally just have to either stir fry something or heat up the mostly pre-cooked thing I already prepared. I even get the salad dressings done. DS helps set up the table while I "cook", and usually by the time he is done, food is ready.

I just can't seem to get him to move faster at night. We are done dinner by 6:45, and we don't bath every night either; but he just refuses to move at a reasonable pace through every step.

MickeyM04 · June 2014

@leahandbuck - we make a big meal on Sunday that we can reheat and eat for a few days (think casserole, crock pot meals, etc). Then the night we finish that one, after bedtime we make another one that we can reheat the next couple nights or stick in the oven the following night when we get home (and then reheat). So we only cook two nights a week. Lots of leftovers but it's all we can manage without doing takeout every night. We commute so we don't get home til 6:15. If we had to cook dinner we wouldn't be eating for at least 20 more minutes, which is pretty late for a 2 year old.

jamieandwill · June 2014

This is exactly how DS is. He is better on days that he has a better nap though. Is your DS napping well during the day? Also, i find that if he is hungry or thirsty he gets crazy cranky. We started a night-time snack recently and it keeps him more calm during the bedtime routine. By more calm, I mean he is a crazy wild animal as opposed to a crazy wild animal throwing things and screaming and hurting me.

rockychryslerb2010 · June 2014

E is 2.5 and I've found choices and bribes help at this age. We also follow 1-2-3 magic, which worked really well for him. He's not perfect, and some days are much better than others, but we make it through. For example, at bedtime, if he is struggling with sitting and reading books, I give him a choice - you can either sit and read books with mommy or go into the crib. He picks, sometimes we read more, sometimes he says crib, and sometimes he goes off and running, and which point he goes into the crib.

Be consistent and make sure to follow through with what you say you're going to do. They are just learning their limits and testing their boundaries. I found E was 100x worse when a molar was coming through.

skibunny59 · June 2014

traveltheworld said:

Those of you that have dinner as soon as you get home, how do you do that and what types of dinners do you give them? DD is always hungry when we get home but it takes me some time to get dinner done so I feel like I am always giving her snacks but I feel bad telling her to wait when she is saying she is hungry.
I wash and chop everything either on Sunday or the night before, and literally just have to either stir fry something or heat up the mostly pre-cooked thing I already prepared. I even get the salad dressings done. DS helps set up the table while I "cook", and usually by the time he is done, food is ready. I just can't seem to get him to move faster at night. We are done dinner by 6:45, and we don't bath every night either; but he just refuses to move at a reasonable pace through every step.

I was wondering the same thing about dinner. My mom usually gives DD a snack after she wakes up from her afternoon nap right before I come to get her. Anyway, I do all dinner prep the night before but I still usually have to cook the veggies I have pre-chopped or stick the prepped lasagna or meatloaf or whatever in the oven to cook. It still takes some time.

I also don't like to rush evenings. When I first went back to work, I felt like I was always rushing and always rushing DD through things just to get into bed by 7. Now, I really like to take the time to play with her and just relax a bit with her during and after dinner. I get home by 4 everyday and I still don't have DD in bed by 7 unless I rush around like a chicken without a head. I have no idea how some of you have your kids in bed by 7.

ss265 · June 2014

skibunny59 said:

traveltheworld said:

Those of you that have dinner as soon as you get home, how do you do that and what types of dinners do you give them? DD is always hungry when we get home but it takes me some time to get dinner done so I feel like I am always giving her snacks but I feel bad telling her to wait when she is saying she is hungry.
I wash and chop everything either on Sunday or the night before, and literally just have to either stir fry something or heat up the mostly pre-cooked thing I already prepared. I even get the salad dressings done. DS helps set up the table while I "cook", and usually by the time he is done, food is ready. I just can't seem to get him to move faster at night. We are done dinner by 6:45, and we don't bath every night either; but he just refuses to move at a reasonable pace through every step.

I was wondering the same thing about dinner. My mom usually gives DD a snack after she wakes up from her afternoon nap right before I come to get her. Anyway, I do all dinner prep the night before but I still usually have to cook the veggies I have pre-chopped or stick the prepped lasagna or meatloaf or whatever in the oven to cook. It still takes some time.

I also don't like to rush evenings. When I first went back to work, I felt like I was always rushing and always rushing DD through things just to get into bed by 7. Now, I really like to take the time to play with her and just relax a bit with her during and after dinner. I get home by 4 everyday and I still don't have DD in bed by 7 unless I rush around like a chicken without a head. I have no idea how some of you have your kids in bed by 7.

Does your DH help? I get home at 6pm and DS usually gets dinner then. Usually by 6:30pm, he is done eating and then it's time for bath, pajamas and bedtime routine. DH usually does the bath and I have been pushing for him to do pajamas since I do the dinner and bedtime routine. The key is to have dinner ready when I get home - it's usually leftovers or I will sometimes leave work early so that I can have time to myself to cook before DH gets home with DS. It's by no means a walk in the path but I don't find myself running around like a chicken without a head.

It helps to be able to sit when DH is giving him a bath and changing him.

skibunny59 · June 2014

ss265 said:

skibunny59 said:

traveltheworld said:

Those of you that have dinner as soon as you get home, how do you do that and what types of dinners do you give them? DD is always hungry when we get home but it takes me some time to get dinner done so I feel like I am always giving her snacks but I feel bad telling her to wait when she is saying she is hungry.
I wash and chop everything either on Sunday or the night before, and literally just have to either stir fry something or heat up the mostly pre-cooked thing I already prepared. I even get the salad dressings done. DS helps set up the table while I "cook", and usually by the time he is done, food is ready. I just can't seem to get him to move faster at night. We are done dinner by 6:45, and we don't bath every night either; but he just refuses to move at a reasonable pace through every step.

I was wondering the same thing about dinner. My mom usually gives DD a snack after she wakes up from her afternoon nap right before I come to get her. Anyway, I do all dinner prep the night before but I still usually have to cook the veggies I have pre-chopped or stick the prepped lasagna or meatloaf or whatever in the oven to cook. It still takes some time.

I also don't like to rush evenings. When I first went back to work, I felt like I was always rushing and always rushing DD through things just to get into bed by 7. Now, I really like to take the time to play with her and just relax a bit with her during and after dinner. I get home by 4 everyday and I still don't have DD in bed by 7 unless I rush around like a chicken without a head. I have no idea how some of you have your kids in bed by 7.
Does your DH help? I get home at 6pm and DS usually gets dinner then. Usually by 6:30pm, he is done eating and then it's time for bath, pajamas and bedtime routine. DH usually does the bath and I have been pushing for him to do pajamas since I do the dinner and bedtime routine. The key is to have dinner ready when I get home - it's usually leftovers or I will sometimes leave work early so that I can have time to myself to cook before DH gets home with DS. It's by no means a walk in the path but I don't find myself running around like a chicken without a head. It helps to be able to sit when DH is giving him a bath and changing him.

DH does help. We usually eat dinner between 5:30 and 6:00. We usually finish around 6:30 like you but then DH and I usually like to sit at the table and have some adult conversation while DD plays by herself and then after that we all play together as a family. We usually start getting her ready for bed between 7 and 7:30 but bath (which is every other night), pjs, cuddling with a sippy cup of milk, brushing teeth, goodnight kisses, books, etc. usually take a while. She doesn't normally fall asleep until close to 8:30.

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