Late onset seperation anxiety - mostly at night

dunlapbriggs · June 2014

Hi!

My DS (19 mo) has been a dream to put to sleep - a book, cuddles and a "goodnight" was all it took before I could leave his room. I rarely heard a peep from him.

But as of nearly a week ago he has been having MAJOR separation anxiety when I leave his bedroom (also about every other day at daycare drop off).

He screams bloody murder (I'm surprised the neighbors haven't called the cops) and since I can't bear to hear him scream and cry for more than a few minutes I end up laying on the floor next to his crib until he falls asleep. And he tries so hard not to close his eyes (he caught me trying to sneak out) that I end up spending and hour trapped in his room!

Anyone have any luck in this (god - i hope) phase? Or do I just have to wait it out?

Thanks!

greyt00 · June 2014

DS2 just started doing this at night and for naps. He's in a rage when I put him in his crib. I honestly don't remember what DS1 was like at this age because I was so busy taking care of DS2 (he was 4 months old), and I had memory loss. Fortunately, DS2 is only crying for a few minutes (5-10), so I haven't done anything. I hope your LO starts feeling better about it soon.

pb_bride · June 2014

I don't really have any advice except hopefully it's just a phase and he'll grow out of it. MH puts DS to bed at night and he has no problem at all. However, on the odd occasion I have to do so (when MH goes out at night), my DS does the same thing as yours, and I'm trapped in his room forever. And then I had to quietly leave his room hoping he doesn't wake up.

Can you have YH put DS to bed for a few nights and see what happens? GL. It's awful to hear your child cries and screams like that.

ashiscute · June 2014

There's a pretty common sleep regression around 18 mos. I think it took my DD about 2 weeks to go back to normal. And it was maybe 2 nights of her sleeping with us and then the rest of the time with us staying with her before she went to sleep. Each night went a bit better until it was like it had never happened. Hopefully it's a short phase for you.

=Lee=B · June 2014

My husband and I take shifts lying beside her crib. We just entertain ourselves on our laptop or cell phone. She relaxes and puts herself to sleep...we hang out a little longer then leave the room. It doesn't happen all that often but when it happens there is a reason for it (what ever the reason may be).

I think it is acceptable to hang out nearby...it eases the child's fear (of separation) or just soothes them if they are ill. It keeps them in their own crib so isn't really a change of normal routine and doesn't mean you have to retrain them to sleep in their crib when the phase ends. I think it is a much better solution than starting to rock them to sleep or letting them get up to watch some tv until later etc.

It sucks to lose that evening time but, this too shall pass.

opheliainwaders · June 2014

What about leaving the door open? You probably already tried this, but recently, DD will only fall asleep if she can see out into the hallway/hear us; if I close her door, she freaks out.

BethMac91820 · June 2014

The same thing happened to us. We waited it out for a few weeks, but really wanted to stop wasting so much of our time to actually clean up, etc. So now we rub his back for 5 minutes and then leave the room. He cried for about 5 minutes the first night, then a little bit less each night. Now it's about 5-10 seconds, and he's done.

Justabean3 · June 2014

18-20 months is the peak of seperation anxiety and is also included with a sleep regression.

My first DS never went through this until about age 2, haha that is late onset

My 2nd DS just started sleeping again and is 21 months

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