May 2014 Moms

Sex after vaginal delivery

All these posts about sex after c sections had me wondering about sex after a vaginal birth. This is my first baby and I have no idea what to expect. I still have a little over 2 weeks until my 6 week appointment, but I want to prepare. Sex was horrible the last 2 months of my pregnancy that we usually resorted to other means. I had an episiotomy that feels healed but I still have some rectal pain. How long till it went back to normal? How bad is it the first time?

Re: Sex after vaginal delivery

  • I'm wondering the same!! The last few months of pregnancy sex was not happening for us. I also had an episiotomy which hasn't hurt since a few days after birth. I am actually looking forward to having sex but I'm pretty sure it won't be pleasant. Thanks for posting! I also want to hear what STMs have to say about this.
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  • I am not cleared yet for this baby (he isn't even 3 weeks old yet), but with DS1 I was cleared at my 6 week appt and we had sex that same evening. I had an episiotomy with that first delivery, I felt fully recovered (no soreness or pain) after 2 weeks but of course waited to be cleared. It was uncomfortable but not painful, but we made sure to use tons of lube. I would highly recommend that. The first 3-4 times I was always nervous but it ended up being fine. This is just my own experience. I am definitely nervous to go through all of this again in a few weeks.
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    BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d

    BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11

    BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d

    BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13

     

    BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14 

  • ns1ns1 member
    After my first we waited at least the Six weeks. It took a couple "tries" before we actually went through with the entire thing. The best advice I received was to use lots of lube and lots of wine. Honestly for me it was pretty painful for a while (I wish I could remember how long it took...but the first few months of newborn life escape me) but after that I actually think post baby sex was better for me.
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  • Next week is my 6 weeks. I would love to get busy with DH but I looked last week and my stitches were still there. I feel healed otherwise except for some muscle tension when peeing.

    Apparently I'm not keeping up with the kegels.

    Does anyone now feel weird about DTD with LO in the room? I do ...
  • cbrustcbrust member
    Yeah... I'm probably the odd ball out but I'm 5.5weeks PP and we didn't wait for doctor clearance. Too much wine + too long with no sex! Only did it once and don't plan to again until I'm cleared. I guess the good news is it didn't hurt at all!
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  • I'm terrified. I had a 4th degree tear and highly doubt I'll get clearance in 3 weeks. Even if I do, I plan on waiting. When I feel ready, lots of lube and lots of champagne.
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  • I got cleared today and I'm ready to give it a try. I haven't had any pain down there in weeks. My midwife said there was a little spot that was still healing but as long as it didn't hurt that I was good to go!
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  • We did it the day before I was cleared this time. It was honestly pretty awesome!
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  • I had my 6 wks appointment and everything is healed and we're good to go and we'll probably go at tonight!

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  • Guess I better start pumping and stocking up, cuz I'm gonna need a lot of wine when it comes time. I loved sex, but after what my vagina went through, I'm not excited.
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  • We had sex at 6 weeks PP with DS1. Worst experience ever. I was dry and sandpaper-y (probably due to bf-ing) which no amount of lube helped and I swear I felt the scar from the tear. DH says it didn't look or feel different but things didn't feel right until after I quit bf-ing and I still feel like things are different if I don't use enough lubricant.
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    T 2.12 | W 5.14

  • giggler25 said:
    Am I the only one not counting down to being cleared at my 6 wk appt? Geez, I'd be happy to wait 6 months!!

    Word. I waited 7 months after DD. Not because it was still uncomfortable or anything but I was terrified of getting pregnant again (even though I had Mirena) and I figured abstinence was my safest bet! I also had zero desire. Pregnancy and BFing kill my drive.
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  • I had several 2nd degree labial tears and though I'm pretty sure they are healed, I have some kind of mental block about that area now. I'm even afraid to wash down there in the shower. I do it but I feel the whole time like I'm going to hurt myself. Ugh. I want to have sex but I don't want anything touching my lady parts. Conundrum.
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  • Haven't done the deed since having this LO (he's 4w6d), but I didn't notice much of a differene after my first two. I was apprehensive, but approached it slowly and it was no big deal.
  • My 6w pp appt is next week and my DH is practically counting down the minutes. How did some of you hold yours off for weeks or months?? That sounds impossible to me. I'm excited for some champagne & a bubble bath with the hubs, it's been way too long!
    haha, because MH knows that pressuring me isn't going to get him anywhere but further away from getting any.  And he's super understanding about it and is okay with taking my lead.
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    LCT - 5.15.14 ~ 9lbs, 22.5 inches

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  • mcnavamcnava member
    My husband is not super sexual, so he hasnt really had a problem waiting.  I want it though...usually I'm the one leading the way anyway...But I, too, am afraid to even wash down there.  I get chills thinking about having sex.  I'm so nervous.  My 6 week is  next week, so I'll see what she says then...but it might be a bit... I had a 3 week check up because of how bad my tearing was and she said she could only see one stitch left so I'm healing well...but I still get a bit sore so I don't know if I'm ready.  

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  • We did it last night and I was surprised how good it felt and didn't hurt. It was a little weird at first but as it went on it felt a whole lot better!

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  • giggler25 said:

    Am I the only one not counting down to being cleared at my 6 wk appt? Geez, I'd be happy to wait 6 months!!

    I feel you :) lol!
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