Interesting poll! We definitely had our challenges when I was pregnant. I was a big adjustment for us! Plus since I had wicked morning sickness, that meant many nights home alone while DH went out with my sisters and friends =( But once we got back into a new groove things got better. Ever since Ruby was born things have been amazing with my DH, even if he won't ever put his shoes away! haha
That being said, I can only imagine that a situation as stressful as having a baby prematurely can strain even the best relationships.
If you are curious whether there is a correlation between having a preemie and marital relationship, this poll won't really tell you because the changes in marrage could just be due to a new baby vs. a preemie in particular. . .
having the babies put stress on my marriage particularly in the job/financial situation, but i think that they wre preemies bonded us together more.
It actually brought us closer. We were kind of having some problems before he was born. We would just argue a lot about money and small stuff but of course that all went into perspective after Evan was born.
I don't think I would blame our *problems* on E being a preemie... I think the hospital bedrest, being homeless, buying a house, transition to a SAHM, etc is more the issue
Emma - March '08 Quinn - August '11
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Chunky Monkey
I agree with the PPs about the stress of baby being the main problem, not having a preemie.
We've had the biggest fight EVER over division of labor since we've had our baby home and I have gone back to work part-time. I am a mostly SAHM, but do some work when she is asleep and a couple of days a week. I still get annoyed that he plays video games when there's a dishwasher that needs to be unloaded, but I get over it, and life goes on.
I agree that a new baby alone is a source of stress, but I definately feel like having a preemie has been an issue for us too. Because we had to quarantine Marino so long, we never went anywhere together until last week - and still everytime we go somewhere we have to take turns. We also fight a lot about "the rules" for keeping him healthy...he likes to bend them when they become inconvenient. I also feel like I still get very sad/scared/overwhelmed by what went on with me and the baby whereas he was over it months ago. We're going to counseling next week. I was just curious if anyone else was having more issues now.
I think alot of our problems were because we reacted so differently to the NICU. I knew it was where DS needed to be and I was able to spend my days with him there so it was ok to me that he was there. DH hated every second of it and was constantly frustrated and just wanted him home. I think both are normal reactions, but the differences just made us fight. We still fight about it some because I try to protect DS from germs, etc and DH wants him to be a normal kid.
I agree that a new baby alone is a source of stress, but I definately feel like having a preemie has been an issue for us too. Because we had to quarantine Marino so long, we never went anywhere together until last week - and still everytime we go somewhere we have to take turns. We also fight a lot about "the rules" for keeping him healthy...he likes to bend them when they become inconvenient. I also feel like I still get very sad/scared/overwhelmed by what went on with me and the baby whereas he was over it months ago. We're going to counseling next week. I was just curious if anyone else was having more issues now.
I am with you on that point 100%. my DH neglects to practice personal hygiene and really does not like asking people to wash their hands etc before touching DDs, and it is very difficult when we are not in agreement on this issue (to me it is so simple - tiny easy precautions to avoid major, however unlikely, events!). Also on the point that DH seems to have gotten over their birth and NICU time, whereas I still mourn the loss of the pregnancy, the trauma of the childbirth, and cry when i see what they went thru in the nicu. i might go to get help myself, and if so, will ask the counselor/md to ask DH to join a session . .
Re: NBR Anonymous Marriage Poll
Interesting poll! We definitely had our challenges when I was pregnant. I was a big adjustment for us! Plus since I had wicked morning sickness, that meant many nights home alone while DH went out with my sisters and friends =( But once we got back into a new groove things got better. Ever since Ruby was born things have been amazing with my DH, even if he won't ever put his shoes away! haha
That being said, I can only imagine that a situation as stressful as having a baby prematurely can strain even the best relationships.
If you are curious whether there is a correlation between having a preemie and marital relationship, this poll won't really tell you because the changes in marrage could just be due to a new baby vs. a preemie in particular. . .
having the babies put stress on my marriage particularly in the job/financial situation, but i think that they wre preemies bonded us together more.
Need help with high fat food ideas? Chunky Monkey
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I agree with the PPs about the stress of baby being the main problem, not having a preemie.
We've had the biggest fight EVER over division of labor since we've had our baby home and I have gone back to work part-time. I am a mostly SAHM, but do some work when she is asleep and a couple of days a week. I still get annoyed that he plays video games when there's a dishwasher that needs to be unloaded, but I get over it, and life goes on.
I think alot of our problems were because we reacted so differently to the NICU. I knew it was where DS needed to be and I was able to spend my days with him there so it was ok to me that he was there. DH hated every second of it and was constantly frustrated and just wanted him home. I think both are normal reactions, but the differences just made us fight. We still fight about it some because I try to protect DS from germs, etc and DH wants him to be a normal kid.
I am with you on that point 100%. my DH neglects to practice personal hygiene and really does not like asking people to wash their hands etc before touching DDs, and it is very difficult when we are not in agreement on this issue (to me it is so simple - tiny easy precautions to avoid major, however unlikely, events!). Also on the point that DH seems to have gotten over their birth and NICU time, whereas I still mourn the loss of the pregnancy, the trauma of the childbirth, and cry when i see what they went thru in the nicu. i might go to get help myself, and if so, will ask the counselor/md to ask DH to join a session . .