Sharing pictures of your baby

cdale86 · June 2014

I feel like I have been very protective of pictures we have of Bennett. It's one of the only things we have so I've mostly shown family and close friends. He's all over our house. He's the background on my phone. I've shown newer friends recently. I feel like I want people to see him now. It makes him real (not that people have ever discounted him). I have only shared one picture of him on fb and it was a full family picture where he's on the vent and you can't really see his face. Their birthday is coming up this week and I'm feeling tempted to share a good pic of him on fb. I feel a little scared about it and not sure if I should. Have you guys shared pics of your babies on social media?

stefuge · June 2014

I have on my blog, but not on social media directly. I felt the same way for a while, really protective and only sharing with certain people, but that has changed more and more as more time goes by. We also have pictures up in our house, and on the blog, and for Mother's Day we had canvas prints made for our moms with his photo. I think it's a personal decision, and if you feel comfortable and that you want to share, you should.

lexusolsen · June 2014

We have not posted any pictures on fb but we pictures up in our home. We also have pictures on our phones. We have given copies to family and close friends. But we don't want his picture out on the internet.

shandorfml2 · June 2014

I have, but it took a while. I think I did for her first birthday, it's a pick of all three of us. It's not a close up but you can see her face. It was recieved well. I show people if they ask, and share some of my favorite ones on social media. I have one pic of her cute butt and feet and that is my profile pic on fb.

dadalou · June 2014

We put pictures up pretty much right away. He was perfect and we would have put them up if he had been born alive. In most he looks like any other newborn baby. We are far from a lot of our family and close friends so that is how we share stuff. I only got positive comments.

Carolee · June 2014

I have not, aside with some other loss moms. I am very protective of my pictures and I'm (sadly) worried about negative comments/thoughts.

ikrystal · June 2014

I totally get being protective of the pictures. I have them up in our house under the assumption that we won't really invite people over who we aren't close with anyway. I dont have FB, but I've posted on my blog. My husband only has a couple pictures of them up on FB. I've only received one negative comment, and I almost knocked the guy out in the middle of church. But otherwise, just positive comments. Whatever you decide will be the right decision - you know what is best for your children.

Xath · June 2014

**ticker warning***

I was sort of the opposite. After Eleanor died I kept finding out through family and friends of other babies who had passed who I had never heard of. And it terrified me to think that Ellie might be perceived as unmentionable or become forgotten. So I took every picture and video we had of her and plastered it all over facebook, and then I made a Youtube compilation of all of her photos/videos and posted that too. I want everyone to know who she was and how much she means to us, so I made her very public.

I understand wanting to keep things close though. I share her photo everywhere, but I keep all of her things very close and protected.

lrichmond86 · June 2014

I've been very open about our losses on fb. Every October I participate in carly Marie's photo challenge and have shared pictures of baby gary. I wish we had pictures of Riley but that's a whole other story. The way I look at it, I'm proud of all of my babies. I want the world to see how beautiful they are/were.

stefuge · June 2014

@redheadbaker - ((hugs)) today

mmsweeney1 · June 2014

My son was in pretty good shape when he was born, and I am so thankful to have pictures of him. I have them displayed on the dresser in his nursery. I've shown a few people, but sometimes I am hesitant because it seems difficult to ask someone if they want to see a picture of your lifeless baby. (Like it will be too hard on them or something....) But especially when he was first born, I was so proud of him just like any other mom. It's sad that we don't get the same recognition as those with living children. I was so touched when my boss asked me to bring in a picture of him and she was interested in seeing him. It really meant a lot. I am trying to get up the courage to post his picture every time there is an angel shout out on here... it's just hard!

kflynn81 · June 2014

My biggest regret is not having pictures of Jack taken. This may sound demented but a part of me wishes I could relive those few days and choose to have them done, hold him, bury him, but obviously none of those things are going to happen. If I had his pictures I'd share them with the world....all we have are Jack's footprints and they are on my phone wallpaper and my FB wall cover.

Dixon813 · June 2014

~~Siggy Warning~~

As it's been said, I think it's all personal - there's no right or wrong.

For DH and I, we have only shared pictures with our parents. We don't have pictures around the house, just in their memory boxes. For us, it's just something we don't want to share with everyone, it's something we want to hold close. We do share pictures of their tree that was planted in their memory. Not the same thing, but family and friends know that's their memorial.

Hugs!

nohalo21 · June 2014

I wish I had a picture of me holding her. I only had pictures of her taken. It was hard for my husband to understand why I wanted pictures so I only had the photographer take them of her. I only recently showed her to my mom when she asked. I felt very protective of her because of her condition. To me she is beautiful.

cdale86 · June 2014

Thank you ladies! You are always so helpful and supportive. I asked DH how he felt about putting his picture on fb and he had zero hesitation. I also talked it out and counseling and decided that it was something I wanted to do. Fear of others judgement was holding me back. I just posted and yikes I feel nervous.

Heatherhah · June 2014

I posted pictures after 6 months since my mothers boss said she(my mom) couldn't put a pic of Sydney up at work because it was morbid so I proved her wrong to prove my baby is not morbid and posted her on facebook and everyone was so kind about the pictures. I do not regret it at all. I want to show her off she is my baby girl who just isn't here with me anymore!!

Heather

hsabyan · June 2014

I have shared more pictures than I can count. On facebook, in real life, to strangers. I had forty days with my baby, and we kept a daily journal updated everyday to let people know how we were doing. Our friends shared the link on their facebook walls, their friends shared it... we had strangers sending us sympathy cards and donating money to us for Georgia's care. They wrote the most wonderful things about how Georgia had touched their lives and would live on forever in their heart. I find comfort in that. I find comfort that my baby, even though only here a short time, was able to make an impact on so many people.

Above all else, I am a mom. I had a beautiful baby. No matter the ending, I would have bragged and shared all the beautiful pictures I could take.

That being said- I have only showed a couple people the pictures we took after her ventilator was removed and after she had passed. Looking at them makes me happy because it was amazing to see her without any tubes or IV's, and her little face was perfect. I want to show them off, but like others, am hesitant to be judged. I am anxiously waiting the pictures we had done by Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep on the day she passed. The photographer took pictures of each of us holding her and pictures of just her (while she was still alive). She also was there when we were holding her and they removed the vent tube. She did not stay very long after the tube was removed (at our request) because at the time I said I wanted to remember when she was still alive. I wish now that I had asked her to stay longer, to get more pictures of her sweet sleeping face.

veetveet · June 2014

I shared a few on facebook. We had some touched up by now I lay me down to sleep and they are beautiful. I wanted people to know I had a baby not a miscarriage (not that I am downplaying the significance of that.... a loss is a loss).

AshersMom11 · June 2014

The only people that we have shared photos with are my mom and sister. I haven't shared any on facebook yet. Even though it sometimes makes me sad to look at them I mostly feel proud. We got back some pictures from my 3 year olds school about a week before our loss and I had the same feeling of pride showing my mom our angels photos as I did the week before when I gave her a few copies of our son's. That was the first time after our loss that I felt anything but grief.

Bayberry12 · June 2014

I couldn't even look at my phots for a long time but when I finally did, she didn't look like I remembered her. In my memory she looked pretty good except for her coloring and a small cut on her left check. In the photos she really doesn't look good, it hurts me to look at them. I think others will just see a dead baby and won't be able to get past it and see her the way I see her
I do have some photos of her feet and her hands that I might be ok with sharing some day.

Jellybean71514 · June 2014

Bayberry12 said:
I couldn't even look at my phots for a long time but when I finally did, she didn't look like I remembered her. In my memory she looked pretty good except for her coloring and a small cut on her left check. In the photos she really doesn't look good, it hurts me to look at them. I think others will just see a dead baby and won't be able to get past it and see her the way I see her
I do have some photos of her feet and her hands that I might be ok with sharing some day.

This is exactly how I feel right now except I still have not been able to look at his photos- someday...

msunshine123 · June 2014

I love the pictures I have of my son - it's the only way I can see him each day. It has been therapy for me to look at them. We have shared his pictures with friends and family just as we would have if he had been born alive. My husband started a blog and has our son's pictures on it too.

elmindreda · June 2014

Since mine was a 23 week loss, I really don't want to publicize the pictures of her. I don't really think most of my friends would appreciate them the same way we do, and sometimes I'm not even sure I want to see them. I'm almost 8 weeks out, and I put a picture of me holding a plaque with her name and footprints on it as my facebook picture recently. I also posted our "family picture" where you see her in the blanket but can't see any details of her body on my blog (which nobody reads).

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