Best ways to prepare (FTM)

FirstatForty · June 2014

Hi ladies,

I will be a FTM at the age 40 when my little bean is born in November and I am starting to worry that I will not know what to do, lol. I haven't really had that much experience with babies in the past and I am wondering what I should be reading or watching to educate myself. Are there any good books you recommend? Obviously I know to feed, diaper, clothe and bath her, ha ha, but what about all the other stuff? How will I know if she is too hot or too cold? getting sick? I feel very ill prepared for this

Thanks in advance.

2redtulips · June 2014

I am a FTM as well, although I am an aunt to some great nephews and I babysat a ton growing up.

My advice is to stick around here and find one of the parenting boards you like. I have already found other moms to be a great source of advice and wisdom.

Do you have family members who would be good sources of information? Don't be afraid to call on them for insight as well.

Next on my list this pregnancy is finding a pediatrician, and I think the right doctor will be helpful in asking all those FTM questions that come up (or at least some of them).

I did buy a book from the Mayo Clinic on baby's first year, and that looks like it will be a good general reference.

Finally, trust your instinct. I bet you will know more than you think!

Krisd6 · June 2014

I love the mayo book- it's a great resource. I have Aetna insurance and when I joined their pregnancy group (free)- I was sent the book. I also have what to expect and that is a good resource as well.

I took a labor and delivery, baby care and breast feeding class at my local hospital a few months before having the baby. It was fun and I learned a lot.

I have a newborn that is now 10 days old and I am a FTM. I have to say I'm figuring it out as I go along! My pediatrician friends and family are great resources as is this site.

You'll do great- no worries. Congratulations! It's amazing- you will love every minute of it.

JilliansMoma · June 2014

I really relied on my Mom a lot with my first baby.

For me I was surprised that "momma instincts" really kicked in. It's strange because I loved my cousins kids and friends babies but I wouldn't say I was overly maternal until I pushed my first DD out of my body and then look out motherhood was on! LOL!

I agree with Krisd6 that the what to expect books were helpful and so was my pediatrician.

kimb311 · June 2014

Gonna have to agree with jilliansmoma you will be surprised at home much just comes to you. And listen to that mommy gut! I have been right every single time, even when my husband poo pooed me!

Bigboneded · June 2014

I am a FTM, too. Will be 42(yikes!) And I feel like I get a lot of good info here, sometimes topics come up that would not have occurred to me to ask. I am "far from home" and anticipate running into some issues without my support network. But hubby is HR OB nurse and dad to 3 already, I think we will be okay :-)

FirstatForty · June 2014

Thanks ladies, that is reassuring advice. I plan to take some of the classes a 2 or 3 months before my delivery date so its fresh in my head. I will look out for the 'what to expect' books.

harmonicbabe26 · June 2014

Just to warn you - the second you step back in your house with the baby, you will forget all the book info and you'll feel clueless and terrified. That's normal. I would say the what to expect book is good. Also keep a running list of questions, like the ones you just put here, and when you are at the hospital or at the pedi's ask them and write down what they say.
Ultimately everything comes with time. I read so many books and talked to so many people before K was born and still when we got home I felt completely lost and scared that I woud break her... After a while it got better.

lcwed · June 2014

I 2nd everything that has already been mentioned. I would also recommend what to expect the toddler years and the baby whisperer. Try to get BW read before the baby comes. The age range parenting boards here are a great resource. I used that a lot the first few months. Like others have said, a lot is just instinct, but I will say the nurses at the hospital were actually a great resource. They had lots of tricks for diapering, feeding, using a pump, and more.

WhiteRose38 · June 2014

FirstatForty said:
Thanks ladies, that is reassuring advice. I plan to take some of the classes a 2 or 3 months before my delivery date so its fresh in my head. I will look out for the 'what to expect' books.

The what to expect books are great!! Not only that, but like others have already said, I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised at just how much comes natural....don't fret too much about it you're going to do just fine!!!

URMySunshine77 · June 2014

(Lurker here from TTC > 35.)

I second the suggestions to take a class at your local hospital and read the What to Expect book. I would also recommend a book called Eat, Sleep, Poop. It provides some basic information and serves as a helpful reference once the baby is here.

Join your Bump birth month board if you have not yet done so. Everyone will be experiencing the same journey, and you can bounce questions off the other mothers.

You'll learn your own baby's language very fast. Swaddling, shushing, nursing, or burping solved 99% of our newborn issues. DS doesn't cry when he has a dirty diaper.

You'll be awesome, momma!

k__teacher · June 2014

I agree with asking the nurses at your hospital or ob's office! Mine are a great resource. When I had my first, I would go to every ped. appt with a list of questions. I would never look up things online (like symptoms or eating too much/little etc) because there is so much info out there and a lot of it doesn't apply to what you need and frankly, can scare you for no good reason! I s terrified when I brought M. home from the hospital 3 years ago - but it is a steep learning curve.

CaraH · June 2014

I echo the reassurance that you will know what to do more than you think. I think it's a combination of instincts and getting to know your kid. Long before she can talk to you, she will tell you. And because you're her Mom and pay lots of attention to her (obv), you will know her cues and read her better than anyone else. In the beginning, there's a lot of trial and error (blanket on, blanket off, check diaper, offer food, bounce, take for a walk, put down in a quiet place, on and on it goes), and then you figure her out. That's her cranky cry, she probably needs a quiet room. Oh, its been 4 hours, she's probably ready to eat.

But, since we all love resources, I would recommend the book Baby 411. Oh, and like others have said, stay off the internet!

EAng · June 2014

Although I have a 4 year old that will be 5 when the baby arrives...I feel I need to revisit bringing baby home. Our daughter was in the NICU for 10 days when she was born. Man, it felt like parenting training wheels. We had the support of the Neonatologists, the NICU nurses, etc. When we did get her home, she was on a perfect schedule. Eating every 3-4 hours, sleeping well, etc. So, this will be a whole new experience that I am looking forward too! (That may change if baby doesn't sleep)

CaraH · June 2014

@EAng - I know what you mean. We were in the hospital for 5 days. It wasn't the NICU - the complications were with me, not her - but we still had 24 hour a day support. By the time we got home, she was sleeping four hour stretches, nursing without any difficulty, and even the poops were a little less crazy.

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