DC Pacifier Issue/Nonissue?

heather52904 · June 2014

I'm sorry if this is a bit all over the place. Today was a tough day and I'm really exhausted, and I am sure I'm making this into a much bigger deal than it is.

DD is EBF. She wouldn't take a pacifier from us and we gave up trying to introduce one. When she started daycare around 12 weeks, we told them she refused to take one.

Lately when I picked her up from daycare, I noticed she had a crease on her top lip. I thought maybe she had been using a pacifier, but I wasn't confident enough that she was so I didn't say anything. (She has never had one in when I pick her up). Today when I put her in the car after picking her up I noticed the definite outline of a pacifier on her face.

I'm not sure what to think about this. We never said not to give her a paci, so I can't really be mad that they did. But we never sent any pacis with her and I find it kind of gross that they are giving her some they happen to have around.

I'm not sure if I should embrace the paci and send her own in or ask them to stop giving it to her. At this point, we were not planning to give her a paci because I've read that 4 months was a good time to wean off of it so we figured why create the habit now. And we didn't want to create any additional wake ups at night to reinsert the paci.

At the same time, if it is something she needs for comfort at DC, I don't necessarily want to take it away from her. She does fine at home without one, but she does comfort nurse a lot which obviously isn't an option when we are apart.

I've been experiencing blisters on the tips of my nipples the last few weeks too (not milk blebs but regular blisters). At first I thought they were due to the pump because they started around when I went back to work. Then I noticed that they form on the weekends. So I thought maybe DD was sucking differently because of introducing a bottle. Now I wonder if it is because of the paci?

Sorry this is so long and a bit of a brain dump. I thought DD had made the no paci decision for us and now it just seems like one more stressful thing to worry about. Thanks for reading this far and I appreciate your insights!

km_md · June 2014

I don't have a lot to say about the pacifier itself since I have a lot of the same questions myself. DD pretty much refuses them and while it would be nice if she used one for comfort, I also wouldn't want to get too dependent on it.

As for the daycare, I really don't think that they should have done that without your permission. Even though you didn't say to never give her one, you didn't provide one to use so they should have asked you about it before giving it to her. And hiding it from you is not cool either. Id definitely say something. At my moms daycare we always ask before trying out something like that just in case the parents have strong feelings about it.

katags · June 2014

I would definitely start by asking they dc of they're giving her a pacifier. Ask them what kind they are giving her and where it came from. You have a right to know. Then maybe you can suggest bringing one in that is an orthodontic pacifier and should be Breastfeeding friendly. Or just say no to the pacifier. They have to respect your wishes. Fwiw I'm still trying to get my 5mo DD to take a pacifier. She doesn't know how to self soothe and I'm grasping at straws. But she does fine at dc without one, so your LO should be fine too, given time to adjust.

katags · June 2014

I also want to add that I would not be ok with then giving her a random pacifier that I did not clean/provide. That's just gross. And weird.

RedSaffron · June 2014

I EBF and DD takes the paci, but we don't have any problem with her latching because of a paci. I don't think 4 months is the norm to start weaning IMO, but its all up to the parents in this case.
With the daycare, I would have brought her back to the daycare the same day and ask them why she has paci marks on her face when you did not provide one. It would be a different story if they opened a brand-new pack for her, but I doubt that. The thought of a community paci makes me squimsh. They should let you know she's taking a paci so you can properly provide one.

sugarland726 · June 2014

Everyone is aware that pacifiers can be cleaned and sterilized, right? The (small) issue I see here is that they gave a pacifier without asking. Not that they gave something on hand. Daycare keeps emergency clothes, diapers, wipes, and yes, pacifiers. It's easy to say no pacifiers, but if LO will not be soothed, the bottom line is that you are not the one dealing with the screaming baby after you have exhausted all options. Some babies just want to suck. They probably didn't want to overfeed LO either or run through all the milk you gave for the day. Let her have the pacifier. Ask daycare about it, but it's seriously not a big deal.

CopperT0p · June 2014

^^ WSS. The only thing that concerns me a bit is that they didn't mention or ask about it. If you ask about it and they say they aren't using one, but you are certain they are, then I'd have issues with the potential lying. For now, just ask and go from there. Don't get too worked up.

heather52904 · June 2014

I'm sure the pacifier has been cleaned, but it still seems odd. After the first time why not ask me to bring some in? If they dip into backup diapers or wipes they certainly would let me know.

I do appreciate that they have not been overfeeding her. I send an extra bottle each day just in case, so they easily could have been giving her that instead. They always say she was really good each day and never say that she has been fussy. I'm not sure why she wouldn't just say DD was fussy so we tried a pacifier and it really calmed her down. I'll ask about it tomorrow and see what she says.

bethughknee · June 2014

Definitely talk about it but I also wouldn't be too concerned. I would be a little...I don't know...weird feeling if they hadn't said anything to me after a few days of obvious paci preferences but there are many reasons for that to happen. Are the same teachers that are there in the morning also there when you pick up? I have short conversations with the afternoon teachers and more in depth ones with the morning one, who is actually the lead teacher in DD's room. The afternoon teachers seem a little more frazzled to me. Probably because babies melt down more in the afternoon and they also walk into a full classroom rather than having babies trickle in one at a time.

I also wouldn't worry about the habit just yet. My DD has basically refused a paci since birth (took one here and there for a few days) and every time she started taking one I would think "But...but I thought I'd never have to break this habit...!" but then she just stopped taking it eventually. And it would kill me to know DD didn't have a way to comfort herself at daycare if she needed it.

If she's still comfort nursing with you, she might just drop it on her own out of preference. But I would definitely ask her teachers to be upfront with you and if you do try to drop the paci eventually, make sure they're on board. Talk to a director if you have to.

As for your nipples, mine go through weird phases with the pump. Sometimes they don't get sore for weeks and then all of a sudden they are touchy and weird for a few days with it. I wouldn't think it has anything to do with your DD getting a bottle or using the pacifier. Pumps are cruel. Although I must say the biting hurts much worse...

DC Pacifier Issue/Nonissue?

Re: DC Pacifier Issue/Nonissue?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards