Two baby-related questions - UPDATE in the comments

Codypup · June 2014

1. Has anyone else's baby self-weaned from nursing? W was doing both bottles and breastfeeding (combo of breastmilk and formula throughout the day.) Then she went to only nursing in the MOTN. Now, she wants nothing to do with my boobs, and I'm sad about it. I'm still pumping, but I had no idea we'd be done with actual nursing so often. I have seriously mixed feelings about it all, and was wondering if anyone can relate.

2. Does anyone have any suggestions for pushing bed time back? W has been crashing lately around 6, 6:30pm. That's lovely and all, but it means she's up for the day around 4:30 or 5am. Is it naive to think that if we bump back bedtime, she'll sleep later in the mornings? If we try and keep her up, are we jinxing ourselves?

TIA my friends!

Codypup · June 2014

JoyBaby5 said:

Only have advice for #2. What if you woke LO up at 9:30, changed her diaper, and fed her once more before putting her to sleep for the night. We do this, and it works great. LO falls asleep around 7:30, but he usually eats last at 5. So, at 9:30, we change his diaper, get him in his sleep sack, and he wakes up enough to eat a full bottle, and falls right to sleep.

@joybaby5 - we did this last night! Kind of. She started stirring around 8, so we changed her diaper, fed her, and she conked right back out until 2am. Then she was up again at 4:30 for good.

Two mornings ago, she was up with me from 5-6, but I was able to bring her back to bed from 6-8am. I feel like on the mornings she's up that early, she's really not ready to be awake, but refuses to go back to sleep.

Codypup · June 2014

LaurLaurLaur said:

No advice on #1

But for #2 I suggest doing it in 15 minute increments until you get to the desired time. Every baby is different, but for LO, she can't stay up more than 2 hours at a time. She is starting to self schedule where she is up at 7, sleeps from 9ish to 1ish, naps again from about 3-5 and then needs a little tiny 30 cat nap to make it to bed time around 8-8:30. If she doesn't get that cat nap though, she will crash and burn at 7pm and be up for the day at 5:30am.

ETA- I mean pushing bedtime back 15 minutes at a time. Like tonight push her to 6:45, then tomorrow 6:45 again then move it up to 7, then 7 again, etc. YOu may need to add another nap though.

@laurlaurlaur - I think her lack of a nap schedule is also part of the problem. She cat naps pretty consistently all day long, but it's not on a predictable schedule.

Noethola · June 2014

Big ((hugs)) Codypup. No advice to help you with the feeding, but I know I would be really disappointed to stop BF at this point. You have done great doing all you can, but I know I would just emotionally miss it.

With our NT routine, we pushed this back about 15min at a time. We would take a 15 min walk outside (change of scenery and could be distracting enough to keep his mind off feedings). Perhaps something gradual like that could work for you?

inluv4life2 · June 2014

#1 happened to my friend and she started offering a very small bottle amt like an ounce before putting baby to breast. The ounce kept her from being hangry and getting frustrated. She was able to keep the breast a happy place and eventually was able to ditch the started ounce. Maybe after a couple if weeks. Hugs hon!! GL

#2 I second Laur's suggestion of gradually moving back bedtime. Though I've found w dd, she wakes up at the same time no matter when she goes to bed!

Codypup · June 2014

inluv4life2 said:

#1 happened to my friend and she started offering a very small bottle amt like an ounce before putting baby to breast. The ounce kept her from being hangry and getting frustrated. She was able to keep the breast a happy place and eventually was able to ditch the started ounce. Maybe after a couple if weeks. Hugs hon!! GL #2 I second Laur's suggestion of gradually moving back bedtime. Though I've found w dd, she wakes up at the same time no matter when she goes to bed!

I like that advice. But it's also a double edged sword for me, because of the weight gain thing. I want to nurse her still, but I'm admittedly more at ease when I know exactly how much she's getting. It helps me feel more in control, if that makes any sense.

I think it's the emotional part that has me hung up here.

Soap1 · June 2014

DS2 decided at around 6-7 months that he didn't want to nurse. We had just started childcare so he was getting more bottles, combined with the desire to be moving and looking and squirming. I fought through it for a week or so and then just decided to wean.

I think you may be able to push through this phase and get her nursing again, but since you say you kind of like bottles for the sake of knowing how much she is getting, you may end up wanting to go to bottles only rather than deal with the fight! I say keep trying at least a week and then decide. Good luck!

ziggy903 · June 2014

Re: bedtime. I don't know if this will help you, but I find that David wakes up early and isn't hungry, so I take him from the bedroom into the living room... Then he passes out. It's almost like he wants to sleep but only if there's a change of scenery. Have you tried this?

Codypup · June 2014

ziggy903 said:

Re: bedtime. I don't know if this will help you, but I find that David wakes up early and isn't hungry, so I take him from the bedroom into the living room... Then he passes out. It's almost like he wants to sleep but only if there's a change of scenery. Have you tried this?

Yes, and then she decides to do the "Oh hey, it's 5am, and I'm going to babble and smile and fart, and then we can play the roll over and scream game!!!"

So this morning we tried moving her into her crib, kept it dark, played white noise...and same thing. She was ready to party.

My child is a weird one.

But thank you all for your advice. I think we may try to do a walk or something around 6, to see if the stimulation keeps her happily awake. Or maybe she'll doze on the walk, wake up for a bit when we get home (usually happens when the movement of the stroller suddenly stops), and then prep for bed.

coralreefmom · June 2014

Ygpm re #1

1linedrawing · June 2014

Codypup said:

ziggy903 said:

Re: bedtime. I don't know if this will help you, but I find that David wakes up early and isn't hungry, so I take him from the bedroom into the living room... Then he passes out. It's almost like he wants to sleep but only if there's a change of scenery. Have you tried this?

Yes, and then she decides to do the "Oh hey, it's 5am, and I'm going to babble and smile and fart, and then we can play the roll over and scream game!!!"

So this morning we tried moving her into her crib, kept it dark, played white noise...and same thing. She was ready to party.

My child is a weird one.

But thank you all for your advice. I think we may try to do a walk or something around 6, to see if the stimulation keeps her happily awake. Or maybe she'll doze on the walk, wake up for a bit when we get home (usually happens when the movement of the stroller suddenly stops), and then prep for bed.

I was going to say- we usually take her outside (walking/park) until about 7/730 so I can swaddle/feed right when we get back and she's out like a light.

boogerbearoriginal · June 2014

Re: nursing - sounds like a pretty classic bottle preference. It's up to you whether you want to work through it and keep nursing or switch to pumping/bottles only. Are you looking for tips to get baby back to nursing?

Re: sleep - you may have some luck getting her to sleep longer in the am if you slowly push back bedtime by ~15min increments. She probably won't be interested in staying up much past 7-7:30p though. Generally speaking, kids are ready for bed between 7-8p for a long time. LO1 used to have a 6:30p bedtime at this age, and he still goes to bed at 7:30p and is asleep by 8p at age 3 (or else overtired hell ensues lol). Of course, he sleeps in until 6-6:30a which is also when I get up for work so it all works out. What time are you hoping to have her sleep until?

Codypup · June 2014

elf828 said:

I have no advice for #2 but I'm in the same boat as you for #1, with the same mixed emotions. This weekend was really frustrating because she seemed hungry but kept pulling off the boob after a few minutes. Then she would gulp down a bottle. I logically know that I should take the path of least resistance and just give her bottles but it bums me out. I'm going to reevaluate after a week as well. (((Hugs)))

I hate that you're going through this too, but happy that you understand where I'm coming from. In the end, I'm going to do whatever helps her get the most food in her tummy, and clearly, it's heading to bottles. I think that if the weight issue weren't a factor, I'd press the issue more...but given that we're monitoring her weight closely, I'm trying to focus my attention on the end game, IYKWIM.

Booger+Bear said:

Re: nursing - sounds like a pretty classic bottle preference. It's up to you whether you want to work through it and keep nursing or switch to pumping/bottles only. Are you looking for tips to get baby back to nursing?

Re: sleep - you may have some luck getting her to sleep longer in the am if you slowly push back bedtime by ~15min increments. She probably won't be interested in staying up much past 7-7:30p though. Generally speaking, kids are ready for bed between 7-8p for a long time. LO1 used to have a 6:30p bedtime at this age, and he still goes to bed at 7:30p and is asleep by 8p at age 3 (or else overtired hell ensues lol). Of course, he sleeps in until 6-6:30a which is also when I get up for work so it all works out. What time are you hoping to have her sleep until?

Re: Nursing. I'm honestly on the fence, and I'm realizing that now more as this thread bops along. I like bottles because I know how much she's eating, which is ideal because of our weight gain issues. But I'm also sad about suddenly being DONE with breast feeding. In the end I'm going to do what's best for her, and I have a feeling that's bottles. I guess I just feel like it happened very suddenly, and it's throwing me for an unexpected emotional loop.

Re: Sleeping - ideally, having her sleep until 6am would be lovely! It's the 4:30, 5am wakeups that are starting to get very old. We're definitely going to try the ~15 minute increment thing, and hopefully the walks as well.

rachaelmary · June 2014

My LO went a few days refusing the breast. What worked for me was giving her a 2 oz bottle to get her going, then she would eat from me after. This helped me as I knew she was getting 2 oz to start, and then I could see her swallowing on me so i knew she was getting enough.

Maybe that could help?

Hugs to you!

boogerbearoriginal · June 2014

Bottles offer LO a fast/easy meal, so sometimes they can develop a preference instead of working to get the let-down from the boob. If you want to keep at it, I'd try PPs suggestions of an ounce or so first. Here are a ton of tips: https://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/back-to-breast/

Keep in mind you don't have to decide today, keep pumping to maintain supply and keep offering when it's a good time and see what happens. You can see how it goes and if she never returns to nursing, you can always pump and she's still getting the benefits of breastmilk. Even if you switch to 100% formula, you've done great because she's being fed.

::hugs:: It's understandable to feel emotional, especially when it's so sudden. It is likely that she will return to breast, if you want to work on that. But there's nothing wrong with saying this is too much, let's stick with bottles either.

Good luck with sleep. Maybe she's cutting a tooth? That has caused my kid to wake early and often. Also, some babies don't like to nurse as well when teething. Just another thought.

Codypup · June 2014

TyrannosaurusLex said:

I going to offer another suggestion for the early waking - I know it will sound crazy but bear with me. Try putting her to bed even earlier than you already are, say, 5:30.

HUH? 'Splain yourself, woman!

;-)

Seriously though, what's your line of thinking here? I'm intruiged.

boogerbearoriginal · June 2014

Codypup said:

TyrannosaurusLex said:

I going to offer another suggestion for the early waking - I know it will sound crazy but bear with me. Try putting her to bed even earlier than you already are, say, 5:30.

HUH? 'Splain yourself, woman!

;-)

Seriously though, what's your line of thinking here? I'm intruiged.

(Not Tlex but) Kids sleep better/longer when well-rested. If she's getting overtired she may be waking early because of that. My older kid will sleep in until 6:30a if he's in bed by 7:30p, but if we go out and he's up later than normal - like say 8-8:30p even, he wakes at 5a. Kids are weird and opposite.

rachaelmary · June 2014

TyrannosaurusLex said:

Codypup said:

TyrannosaurusLex said:

I going to offer another suggestion for the early waking - I know it will sound crazy but bear with me. Try putting her to bed even earlier than you already are, say, 5:30.

HUH? 'Splain yourself, woman!

;-)

Seriously though, what's your line of thinking here? I'm intruiged.

Early to bed, early to rise doesn't apply to babies. The more well rested a baby is, the better and longer they tend to sleep. It's kind of like how an overstimulated baby is even harder to get to sleep, even though sleep is all they need to feel better. I know it sounds counter intuitive but I strongly suggest it's worth a try!

Totally agree with this. Every time I put LO to bed later than normal, she always wakes up earlier. For example, on Saturday night she went down at 7 and slept until 430....last night I couldn't get her to fall asleep until 9 and she woke up at 3.

Codypup · June 2014

@tyrannosauruslex and untaggable Booger+Bear -

That totally makes sense. It makes me kind of sad to think of her going to sleep that early, because sometimes I don't even get home from work until 6pm. But it's worth trying!

Thanks for all the suggestions. I feel like we have some tricks to work with now.

boogerbearoriginal · June 2014

@codypup I hated when LO1 (and now LO2) are so young and have such an early bedtime. I'd be happy to see my kid for 30mins most nights

Working FT kind of sucks in that regard.

I always try to make the weekends count as much as possible by getting cleaning done in evenings since kids are asleep anyway. That way I can spend more quality time playing/having fun on weekends. Hopefully you can get her to sleep in a bit, 4:30a isn't awake time for any human!

Codypup · June 2014

Update!

Good news all around, at least for now:

1. I got her to nurse for about 10 minutes!! Then we moved on to a bottle, but it was nice while it lasted. She kind of stared at my boob for a minute, like "Waaaaaaiit....what's this?" but then she latched on. I still think we're on our way to bottles only, but I'm happy I got in another mini nursing session.

2. I purposefully got her to nap until about 5:30pm, and then took her out to the kiddie pool for her "bath." She loved it, stayed awake, and the started fussing around 6:30. She was out for the night around 7pm. Woke up at 9 for a snack, went right back to sleep, and slept until 3am!

At 3 she was ready to play, but we walked/bounced for 30 minutes, and then she was out again until 6am.

Thank you all for your advice! I think the stimulation right before bed is going to be key.