Leaving LO in car

Poppy523 · June 2014

Wow have you seen this bit about the woman who got charged criminally? I feel like there was a thread once were we talked about doing this on quick errands from time to time. I feel bad for her.

ericalee27 · June 2014

This is the article for anyone who hasn't read yet (It has been all over my facebook feed and other mommy boards)

https://www.salon.com/2014/06/03/the_day_i_left_my_son_in_the_car/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

I do not leave my children alone in the car, no matter the circumstances. Too many what-ifs for me.

Poppy523 · June 2014

I am the same way. I left DD in the car when she was sleeping and I was picking up our dogs but I pulled up to the front door and just walked 10 feet to get the leashes from the lady. But i remember some ladies mentioned they would leave their LOs while grabbing dry cleaning or something if they could still see the car and it was cool out and I didn't think badly of them. I didn't think badly of this woman either when I read the article.

singingsea · June 2014

I've done it before. In our own driveway/garage though and the car doors are locked. I always forget something in the morning.

People call CPS at the drop of a hat so I wouldn't be that stupid to do it somewhere public like that. I mean...grab your screaming kid and throw him over your shoulder.

I agree with luxannie I don't think people should be burned at the stake for it.

Rosebean · June 2014

I will get home from work with DS and I will usually 95% of the time end up running up the front steps with him still in the car to unload my purse/lunch bag/ water bottle/etc. before going back to get him. I leave the door wide open so I can hear him. But in the end, once LO2 hits, he will have to get used to a quick 30 second wait anyways. There is no way I will be able to carry him, the newbie and the diaper bag.

I would never leave him in the car alone where I could not see the car and I knew I would be longer than a minute. DC2London has it right about the drive thrus. I used to poo poo people who always hit them up, because, what's wrong with walking in... now, I am a believer!

Puck1182 · June 2014

I am also one who will run bags into the house with DD in the locked car in the driveway, but that's it. The car is never out of my sight. The sad thing is that I'm more afraid of CPS being called on me than of anything bad actually happening when it comes to wanting to make more "free range" parenting decisions down the line.

Rosebean · June 2014

@puck1182 My neighbors across the way had CPS called on them a few years ago. They had sent their 2-3 year old and 1 year old out onto the cement porch with no one watching them. Both were still in diapers... and not an adult in site. The older of the two I had in my yard one day and I took his hand and walked him back across the street. Another day, another neighbor got him out of my yard. Multiple days I had seen him kicking pamper boxes around the street. The day they were both out on the porch was the day someone finally called the cops. And once the cops showed up, it took the mom(s) (this was a boarding house for young moms), several minutes to open the door. It was ridiculous and unbelievable.

In my house, I have no issues cooking in the kitchen while DS plays in the living room. Either I pop my head in to see him or he pops in to see me. I close all the doors down the hallway so he can't get into bathrooms or bedrooms and he is limited to just the living room/diningroom/ kitchen.

So I consider myself to be a very relaxed parent for those reasons, where as my mom is more the "stand two inches away-helicopter" type. I don't know if I am being too relaxed myself, but in comparison to those who lived across the street, I have nothing to worry about. Neither do you!

kbates85 · June 2014

I've left DS in the car while I run inside yo grab things that I forgot. Usually his sippy cup. It's WAY too hot here to even think about leaving someone in the car for more then seconds.

Puck1182 · June 2014

@Rosebean‌ I do the same thing when I cook. I can see most of the living room from the kitchen, so I just close the bedroom and bathroom doors and glance over periodically. If she's in the kitchen with me she gets clingy, but he plays independently really well if I'm not right there with her.

DH feels like he can't get anything done when he's home with her because he feels like he has to sit right there and watch her play every second. Which I do not get at all. His parents had five kids in seven years, I can guarantee they were left to their own devices fairly frequently so it's not like it's a foreign concept to him. :-p

brachysira · June 2014

I do not leave M in the car while I go in places, but given how many terrible decisions people make, it just seems silly to choose this minor thing as a reason to penalize people. I have been recently letting her out of the car while I unload groceries. I just set the groceries inside the door of the house, so I only am not watching her for about 2 seconds, but it is more than I would normally do. She's just not very driven to go inside, so I can pretty much unload the car while she slowly checks out things in the yard.

khaze · June 2014

I won't leave my LO in the car - too many what if's and too many stupid things that can happen. I won't even leave LO in the car while I return the buggy after we are done shopping. I do think there are some reasonable times to do so like DC returning library books or if they are sitting on your driveway while you grab something inside.

I do think people should be criminally charged though in certain situations. People who leave their kids in a hot car while they grocery shop, etc absolutely should be charged with child endangerment.

Dannysmama · June 2014

Leaving a baby in the car - no, I wouldn't. A 4 year old with an iPad playing - I can see situations where I'd do that. Knowing there are laws about it now, I'd probably wait until they are six so I don't end up getting prosecuted.

My parents tell the humorous story of how when my brother was probably 5, he was outside in our front yard (fully observed by my parents), pushing around the lawnmower. Bear in mind, at 30, I can't start my parents' lawnmower, and definitely would have trouble flipping it over to see the sharp bits. The neighbor rings the door and goes "uh, lady, do you know what your son is outside doing?" To which my mom matter-of-factly responded, "yes. He's pushing around the lawnmower," apparently, leaving the neighbor in a stunned silence. For as long as people have been having kids, there have been the busy bodies waiting to catch you in the act of something suspect.

IDK, I'm of the mindset that kids need space to be kids. I worry constantly about things happening to DS, but I trend closer to free-range in that I'd rather let DS walk around and explore with the occasional mouthful of dirt, than hover over him. Still wouldn't leave a baby in the car, but people who call the cops and video tape it, that's just ridiculous.

brachysira · June 2014

We have a big picture window. Our neighbors have a 2.5 year-old and are probably better parents than us--they're always doing fun things in the front yard. If I see him and I think he's unsupervised, I don't call the police. I watch him--did he escape, is he in danger, etc. I can run outside if he's headed for the street or something. Every time it turns out they are just out of my view and he is fine.

Given that lots of people in my hometown would just drop off their kids at the city pool, that had lifeguards, and use it as daycare...that many parents just send their kids out in the backyard all day (and don't let them in)...that we all have seen someone not watching while their too-little one climbs up a large playground structure...I just don't think we should be thinking legal action. We should be thinking "it takes a village." Sure, there are very bad people and sometimes what we see in public is only a little piece and it's great to have tools to have them studied more. However, given that you can hit your kid within an inch of his life and get probation or similar, I just don't think that leaving a child in the car while you pick up dry cleaning deserves police intervention.

PhieryBFly · June 2014

It was 108 degrees here yesterday. Every year at least one child dies because the parent "just ran in for a minute." I think the threat of CPS and the law are a good thing here because it only takes a couple minutes to heat a car up over 150 degrees and some people just don't think things through. I can't imagine how horrible a death that would be.

Going outside to play is totally different. I was outside pretty much all day, everyday that wasn't a school day growing up.

wifeofadam · June 2014

I have done it. I did it today. I also did it on Wednesday. In both cases I was in and out in less than three minutes. I also have an almost 7yo in the car with the little ones.

I think that it is all situational. Would I leave my kids in the car when it's hot out? No. Would I leave them in the middle of the city? No. Would I leave them in a place where I can't see the car from inside the store? No.

But I live in a rural place and I'm comfortable with it in certain situations. I've actually pumped gas before with police pumping at the same station and walked in to pay for gas with my kids still in the car. No one I know would bat an eye or call the cops for that (and obviously the cops here wouldn't care). But I know people that would call the cops if I ran into walmart for a half an hour with my baby in the car the whole time.

With regards to the story in the news. People need to mind their own business.

tamarar5 · June 2014

Teacher Clark said:

I am the only one who grew up with parents that sent us outside to play and said don't come back in? Not that I do that with my kids because it's a different world now, but man have times changed in the last 30 years.

NO! My mom used to actually LOCK us outside in the yard every day. lol

I occasionally leave my kids in the car-- running in to the gas station to pay or pick up a snack (preggo, do that often!), returning movies, dropping the dog at the groomers, fast items like that. But I have a slight advantage because C is 7 years old. I can tell her don't climb in the car and she's totally cool.

I have a detached garage, and my driveway is hidden from view, and my neighbors drive like maniacal morons down our alley, so I **NEVER** let the kids out of our fenced in yard alone or unsupervised. Occasionally, I ask C to run and fetch something from the garage, but I'm watching from the window and she's 7.

But I use the same common sense that all of us do with our kids-- if it's hot/cold, I take them out. If I'm going to be longer than a minute or two, I take them out. Yet again though, I have a significantly older child who is able to watch over her baby brother and open the door if the car were to get super hot in that minute and a half while I'm inside. So maybe I'm a bad example, after all, lol!

wifeofadam · June 2014

Oh, and in my situation in my rural community, I know most of the police. My sister in engaged to one of the officers. I can only imagine how it would go down if he showed up at my door because some nosy Nellie called him due to my running into the gas station for five seconds to pay for gas.

I love small town life. Sometimes I think the divide between country living and city living is wider than we think. That's why Ohio is such a strange state. 97% of the state is the boonies, but there are also a bunch of cities. I can't relate to the life of my sister living in Cleveland at all.

Rynleigh · June 2014

I don't leave eyesight of my car if any of my children (including the 12yr old) is inside it. It doesn't matter what the temperature is outside. It doesn't matter if the doors are locked. It doesn't matter how long I think I'll be. Kids in the car, I'm not leaving sight of it. One incident of my little brother knocking the car out of gear and another of a man grabbing my mother's purse from my hands were enough for me to experience as a kid to not feel comfortable with leaving my kids in a motor vehicle unattended for any length of time.

BUT - more than anything, what annoys me about this article isn't the idea that she briefly left a 4yr old child in a parking lot - it's why she did it. The attitude of bringing a child along for a fast errand simply because they demand to come when you know that you are in a rush and do not need to bring them is an unreasonable compromise, to me... further, letting them stay in a car alone simply because you don't want to fight with them over an electronic device is beyond absurd in my eyes.

Regardless, the claimed consequence - real or fictional - is overkill and just makes for angry people instead of an effective consequence. The "ticket" would have been far more effective in deterring the act in the future without creating unnecessary hostility toward the government.

a13049 · June 2014

I worked with a lady at Applebee's who lost her teaching license because she left her kids in the car while she ran into Walmart. She had 3 kids and the oldest was 10. I was stupid and 18, you know everyone always says "I would never...when I have kids". Not sure how it came up in topic but I really teed off that lady because I had no idea that had actually happened to her. I really only felt kinda bad though. Walmart parking lots are big and you can't see the car from where you were at. But to loose her liscence and ruin her career, that seems extreme for the case. I watch some oft students parents get away with way to much without much response from DFS and this lady really was an awesome mom outside of this incident

lbonga1 · June 2014

lilsebastian said:

I am also one who will run bags into the house with DD in the locked car in the driveway, but that's it. The car is never out of my sight. The sad thing is that I'm more afraid of CPS being called on me than of anything bad actually happening when it comes to wanting to make more "free range" parenting decisions down the line.
ITA. I don't ever leave DD in the car, even if it's not hot out, because I'm afraid of someone calling CPS, not because I'm afraid of something happening to her.

Someone seriously did call CPS on us when DD was 6 months old. I was at work, but FI had gotten DD strapped into the car, in our apartment complex's parking lot, and he realized he forgot to lock the front door. Our apartment was all of 25 feet from where the car was parked, and he was gone for less than 2 minutes. Though whoever called apparently told CPS that he left her there for 15-20 minutes. When they came to talk to us, they realized how ridiculous it was and immediately closed the case.

In my opinion leaving a kid/toddler/baby in a car for 2 minutes is on the complete opposite end of the severity spectrum when compared to something like using drugs around them.

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