Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Noethola
member
Re: PAL Check-in
I recently gave birth to our beautiful rainbow baby, on April 16th. Baby Zoie has been an absolute blast! It was a difficult (high risk... and high anxiety) pregnancy, but thank the Lord she's here today.
Milestones: today was our second angel baby's birthday, Lorelei. It's been exactly one year since we said goodbye and the pain and sadness is still there. I think after we had our rainbow baby people assumed that we were "all better"
Mother's day... I was alright, I enjoyed having Zoie with me, but my heart still felt kinda only half full if that makes sense. I really wish I could have ALL my girls with me.
QOTW: There's a pregnancy center here in town that offers support and resources to women and teenage girls during their pregnancy. I'm not currently involved with this group but I'd like to volunteer some time when I get a chance.
Open Topic: Zoie will be 2 months this month and we're also remembering our two babies' angelversaries... this month is the definition of bittersweet.
Hope all of you other angel mamas are doing well. Hugs:)
Mothers Day was fine. We'dfinally planted the memorial garden and I'm thrilled with how it came out! Such a beautiful tribute to our two beautiful angels! This week has been tough. I feel like I'm stuck. I walked to dh about it last night and the conclusionwe came to is that I feel hopeless because we won't have any more children. After we lost baby gary we knew we would try again so there was still hope for the family we dreamed of. Now that we've decided no more pregnancies after losing Riley and adoption really feels like a pipe dream, I feel like there is no hope of having that family. I'm so thankful for Aubrey; she's the light of my life! But I just always expected it to be different and I'm not really coming to terms with that change.
Our favorite charity is MOD. We walked in this year's March for Babies and I felt really good about our contribution. We also always donate to the Jimmy fund.
Not my mind this week is how fast my baby is growing up and how sad it makes me that I'll never have this time again. I'm attaching her 11 month picture because it totally blew me away at how grown up she looks... like a toddler and NOT like a baby. I guess I knew this would happen. I wish I had known that her firsts would be our last. Also attached is one of the family photos we had done a few weeks ago. Good God I love this kid!
How has this week been for you? Rough, I went back to work on Friday. Not only is it unbearable to leave my baby, but it also brings back memories or returning last year after our loss. The morning is the hardest, I hate leaving her and despite my dad being an amazing dad, I still worry cause he's not me.
QOTW: Do you have a favorite charity that you are involved with? What charity and why? I really like St. Jude. I think it is wonderful that they offer so much to families going through the worst thing and at no cost to them. I also like The Tears Foundation. They help raise money so families can afford funerals and gravestones/urns for their angels.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Since returning to work, everyone is beaming, asking about LO. It just makes me sad, the difference between this and last year. I know they all think I am fine now that I have my rainbow, and I just want to scream that I love my daughter and I'm soooo happy she's here, but that I love BOTH of my daughters and LO being born of course helps, but she does NOT make it ok that my angel died.
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
How has this week been for you? Ugh...this week has been rough. DH is out of town for work, which makes everything more difficult because I don't have my partner here helping take care of Liam. It's also been really hard because we found out that Liam hasn't gained any weight in 2.5 weeks
QOTW: Do you have a favorite charity that you are involved with? What charity and why? We have given donations to Cornerstone of Hope - a local group center for grieving families. We attended a neonatal/infant loss support group that helped us immensely.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? The past couple of weeks have been so emotional - good and bad. The triplet's first birthday was a couple weeks ago and only a handful of family/friends remembered. Then last week was the hospital memorial service at the cemetery and that was really difficult, too. Yet, I'm sitting here, watching Liam sleep and thinking about the smiles he's starting to give us..it's just a lot of emotions.