Registry question

Envy1328 · May 2014

I am expecting my first child, so I do not have any baby gear currently. I have registered at babies r us and target and have a total of 160 items, which includes approx. 10 diapers and 5 packages of wipes, so really only 145 items or less. Is this too much? Please let me know, as I do not want to look like I am asking for too much. Thanks in advance!

SingleMom31 · May 2014

I don't know that there is any set number, but 145 seems high to me considering how much babies really need (which isn't much). I'd look through it and ask yourself if it's really stuff you'd buy yourself, and focus on those items. If you have clothes, I'd take those off since you'll get plenty without registering for those. And then I'd make sure you have a variety of price points (some less expensive things, some bigger things).

cpfanner · May 2014

Not to sound harsh but nearly 150 items seems ridiculous! At least that's what i thought when i saw my friends! Lol. Seriously babies need very little. And the list they give you at babies r us is huge! You don't need half that stuff. I literally registered for ESSENTIAL stuff, maybe 30ish items. My friend had dvds, tons of tiny toys, clothes galore. I used my registry as a reminder for what i needed to get, cause literally no one got anything off my registry! I was literally begging people to look at my registry!!! Keep the list short and sweet and a wide range of price points. My experience...don't register for clothes, blankets, or bibs...people will just get what they want and not follow it anyway.

cpfanner · May 2014

Also, i didn't have a problem getting second hand stuff, check craigslist or local FB yard sale groups. i literally looked at my list and asked myself if it was NEEDED many times

jf198400 · May 2014

That seems like too much. I remember my one friend had a huge registry and it printed out 18 pages at BRU. I was like WTF I can't look at 18 pages! So I would personally advise trimming it down a bit. Stuff you really don't need on your registry- clothes (people would rather pick it themselves), diapers and wipes (if people want to buy it for you, they likely will but it wherever its on sale not necessarily where you are registered), lotions/soaps (I got TONS of that crap and didnt register for it).

Helenahhandbasket · May 2014

I think my registry was just shy of 70 items-- and I had a huge shower (about 75 guests).

I would take the diapers and wipes off of the registry. Pick those up yourself as you see sales/ buy in bulk.

I would also take of any of the following: formula, toys, bath / shampoo products. Try to stick to needs as opposed to wants.

I would say your needs are the following: somewhere safe for your baby to sleep (bassinet, co-sleeper, pack and play whatever you decide), car seat, bottles if you are FFing, bibs, burp clothes, a week's worth of onesies or dressing gowns and a few warm blankets.

Extras I added that we used and really liked were boppy (loved that), moby wrap, swaddles, stroller ( a few friends went in on this for me), a swing and a bouncer.

I can't even think of what else you could have on your list that couls amount to 145 items.

74dragonfly · May 2014

One tip I have is ask a friend who is a mom to look through the list. Ex you don't need a bouncer, rock and play, and swing. They serve similar function so pick one.
To answer your question I think 145 is too many. Have a friend review after you remove diapers and clothes.

ConversationFear · May 2014

I personally think it's high. (I'm a FTM, but was a nanny for several years). We had about 45-50 things on our list. Something else you might want to think about besides the extras you may not need - are things you won't need RIGHT NOW. We didn't add things like a walker, baby gates, high chair, plates, spoons, etc...because he's not going to need them for a while and they would just take up space in our already limited space. This kept things pretty minimum for us. We also didn't add any big items - we bought those ourselves because we wanted to make sure we got exactly what we wanted.

PinkLillyLover · May 2014

Put whatever baby items you want on your registry that you can use for baby up until he/she is 1...this is your wishlist for your baby and things you plan to buy for your baby...you're merely sharing this list with your friends and family. Just make sure there is a variety of price points on there. I think 150 ish items is fine. Remember, registries count all items...so let's say there is a pack of 3 hangers and I want several packs...it's going to count all those packs. So things can add up quickly since you'll need more than 1 pack of burp clothes, bottles, socks, onesies, diapers, etc. I wouldn't, however, register for 2 swings, bouncer seats, etc.

alisonc87 · May 2014

My registry for a shower of just shy of 100 (huge, but it is my family, DH'S family, and ours/our families' friends. I am not feeling up to multiple showers, having just lost my mom in the past few weeks and my hostesses graciously offered to combine since I am under a little added stress given that situation. ) is around 75ish items. I have some that I need multiples of, like bottles, nipples, etc. so technically it is more. I didn't add anything that people will buy without looking at the registry, like clothes, blankets, diapers, and wipes. I know from my bridal shower that many people will not buy off the registry, so I know that will be plenty of items for the people that want to check out the registry.

ScarletButler · May 2014

I for one am not sure about straying from the registry, for the simple fact that she picked these things for a reason. Surely I cannot be the only person who thinks this way?? On my registry, I had a stroller, car seat, swing, bouncer, crib, crib bedding @ $109, $99, $119, $59, $159 and $299, respectively. Those are things that my immediate family bought for me. My MIL even bought a 400 britax car seat for me at my sprinkle for my second baby! My dad bought my double stroller. You know why, because they knew we needed the help!!! We just bought a house after finding out we were pregnant, and everyone wanted to help us. I don't think it is greedy at all, and if you have friends that do, MAKE NEW FRIENDS! I do not think a first time mom should hold back on anything she wants or needs. Sure, don't "expect" people to buy your big items, but in my situation, my parents and in-law offered to pick up these things for me, so I put what I wanted on my registry. I think when posting here, people seem to forget that not everyone is rich, not all people have money before deciding to start a family, and sometimes birth control fails and you find yourself having to prepare for a baby you were not prepared for.

vterp · May 2014

ScarletButler said:

I for one am not sure about straying from the registry, for the simple fact that she picked these things for a reason. Surely I cannot be the only person who thinks this way?? On my registry, I had a stroller, car seat, swing, bouncer, crib, crib bedding @ $109, $99, $119, $59, $159 and $299, respectively. Those are things that my immediate family bought for me. My MIL even bought a 400 britax car seat for me at my sprinkle for my second baby! My dad bought my double stroller. You know why, because they knew we needed the help!!! We just bought a house after finding out we were pregnant, and everyone wanted to help us. I don't think it is greedy at all, and if you have friends that do, MAKE NEW FRIENDS! I do not think a first time mom should hold back on anything she wants or needs. Sure, don't "expect" people to buy your big items, but in my situation, my parents and in-law offered to pick up these things for me, so I put what I wanted on my registry. I think when posting here, people seem to forget that not everyone is rich, not all people have money before deciding to start a family, and sometimes birth control fails and you find yourself having to prepare for a baby you were not prepared for.

No one here is taking money for granted. No one here is taking etiquette for granted either.

Even if you have unfortunate circumstances surrounding your pregnancy, you don't have to throw courtesy and thoughtfulness of others out the window. If you are a new Mom with nothing, are you really going to turn your nose up at items that were not gotten off of your registry, or are you going to be grateful for any gift that you receive that is meant to welcome you to Motherhood and help you with your new baby?

Fill out your registry however you like, but it's not a mandate of what should be purchased for you and it shouldn't be treated as such. And also be aware that friends and family may not have the best financial circumstances either and they really are going out of their way for you with any gift they give.

ScarletButler · May 2014

I don't believe the OP mentioned anything about getting gifts not on the registry, that was someone else. I want her to know that she could put 300 things on there, and it's fine, who cares! I think the etiquette thing has changed in so many ways, and the thinking that you have "too many" items on a list seems silly. She can put whatever she wants, it's her list! Also, since it's traditional, most women have come to expect a shower, and to receive help of some sort. In turn comes people asking "where are you registered", because most people actually aren't that creative.

Envy1328 · May 2014

Thank you all!

MMason12 · June 2014

ScarletButler said:

I don't believe the OP mentioned anything about getting gifts not on the registry, that was someone else. I want her to know that she could put 300 things on there, and it's fine, who cares! I think the etiquette thing has changed in so many ways, and the thinking that you have "too many" items on a list seems silly. She can put whatever she wants, it's her list! Also, since it's traditional, most women have come to expect a shower, and to receive help of some sort. In turn comes people asking "where are you registered", because most people actually aren't that creative.

A sad thing that people think etiquette needed to be changed. More people should know and stick to the "old fashion" rules of etiquette now a days.

ScarletButler · June 2014

Just like technology, clothing, music trends, cars, EVERYTHING CHANGES. Just because someone wrote some law about what should be acceptable, does not mean it needs to stay this way. If you don't want to attend a 3rd shower for your best friend, then don't. But don't yell at some stranger on the internet. Why are these boards all about who can say the rudest thing? I am all for a little something for every baby that enters this world. Seriously, don't tell me that when you get pregnant with number 2 that you won't want to celebrate his or her life with a little something. Old fashioned is exactly that, old. Do what you want. The people that love you will be there and participate, and internet strangers will go about their day,of course making sure they point out to you that they in fact, don't care.

debikae · June 2014

I'm having two showers -- my work one will be about 100 people -- and my church one will be much smaller. We live far away from both sides of the family so won't be having a shower in either of those places, though family members have asked for my registry information. I have just under 100 items on my registry -- in a wide variety of price ranges -- 85% or more is under $50 and the majority of that is under $20.

Yes, my registry seems large to me, however, I registered for lots of items because I will get a 10% discount on registry items not purchased. People who want a list of my likes will have it and will be glad of it, and the people who want to buy me clothes aren't likely to look at my registry anyway.

I personally think it's fun when people don't stick to a baby registry -- the only things I'm really picky about are the big things...and most of those I'll purchase myself.

On the other side of things, I recently went shopping for a baby gift for someone and had a pricepoint I wanted to spend. They only had about 15 things on their registry -- all but 3 or 4 above $100, and the rest had already been purchased. I didn't really know the mother, but the father was one of my employees, so a registry with lots on it would have been really helpful for me.

Annadm · June 2014

So I was a single mom before I even gave birth with my first baby. I didn't know too many people either. My mother said put a variety of price points, perhaps things you can't afford yourself but would want. A woman's group decided to buy everything off my list! Crib, blankets, bottles, everything. I was glad I included those items. Do not feel bad it's your wish list they don't have to get it for you. I like to see longer lists so I have many options to buy for people

LucilleAustero · June 2014

I had a large registry (maybe 80 items?). But, most of them were lower price points and my shower was huge. Seriously huge. Unless you shower is going to have 160 people at it, I would pare down that registry. Babies do not need as much as we think they do before they get here.

I live in an area where it is rare to not get a gift off your registry. But, as others have said, do not expect to get gifts from the registry. It can certainly point guests in the right direction, but it is their money to do with as they please.

ScarletButler · June 2014

Oh sorry, I didn't mean law, I mean some person a long time ago decided they thought things should be that way, and made sure everyone followed it....kind of like the bible.

runningmama22 · June 2014

What was the initial question? Oh. Ok. I would Register, like others have said, for anything you'd plan to buy baby yourself. It's up to other people what they want to buy off there. Second PP about asking a new mom. There's also an article here on TB about items you really don't need to register for (clothes are on there)... Good idea also to pick up diapers when they're running sales. Babies R Us had a sale the other wknd, keep an eye out for that. Some people have diaper cakes at their showers (not that you decide what's at your own, but it could happen), or people bring one pack of diapers in addition to whatever they gift... Make sure there are some small price items on there for people who dont want to spend an arm and a leg. That's all the advice I got. I don't really care if someone looks at my registry and says "HOLY SHIT SHE HAS SO MUCH ON HERE"... never had a kid before, need stuff, and they can get what they want off the list. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Saratiff · June 2014

@scarletbutler I have a huge family and we are all close, I mean like my aunt by marriage, her mother comes to all our family events and so on. I was at a cousin's baby shower and while the mom to be was opening presents, One of the older great aunt's said she went to a shower where they requested books instead of cards. She was so mortified by the whole experience so much so that all the aunts were standing in a circle and talking about how our generation has learned nothing about respect and gratitude.I would be absolutely mortified if they were to talk about me this way. People can say all they want that the rules of etiquette have changed but reality people are only trying to justify their greed. People on this bored tell you what would be spoken about you behind your back and it is absolutely true. I have heard it. Take it for what it is.

RibbitGrl930 · June 2014

ScarletButler said:

Just like technology, clothing, music trends, cars, EVERYTHING CHANGES. Just because someone wrote some law about what should be acceptable, does not mean it needs to stay this way. If you don't want to attend a 3rd shower for your best friend, then don't. But don't yell at some stranger on the internet. Why are these boards all about who can say the rudest thing? I am all for a little something for every baby that enters this world. Seriously, don't tell me that when you get pregnant with number 2 that you won't want to celebrate his or her life with a little something. Old fashioned is exactly that, old. Do what you want. The people that love you will be there and participate, and internet strangers will go about their day,of course making sure they point out to you that they in fact, don't care.

(1) Nobody has been yelling at anybody or been rude. Differing opinion (and opinions are what OP asked for) does not mean rude.

(2) Right. Do whatever you want without regards to the feelings of others. My statement is not directed at the OP, because I don't think she's being rude. The bolded attitude in general is what irks me because it is used to justify so many rude behaviors that can and do damage relationships beyond repair.

AMcLaws · June 2014

ScarletButler said:
Just like technology, clothing, music trends, cars, EVERYTHING CHANGES. Just because someone wrote some law about what should be acceptable, does not mean it needs to stay this way. If you don't want to attend a 3rd shower for your best friend, then don't. But don't yell at some stranger on the internet. Why are these boards all about who can say the rudest thing? I am all for a little something for every baby that enters this world. Seriously, don't tell me that when you get pregnant with number 2 that you won't want to celebrate his or her life with a little something. Old fashioned is exactly that, old. Do what you want. The people that love you will be there and participate, and internet strangers will go about their day,of course making sure they point out to you that they in fact, don't care.

I'm having my second child (another girl) in 6 weeks. and yes, I CAN seriously tell you that I did not want another shower, sprinkle...whatever. Ugh, the gift-grabbiness of it makes my skin crawl. It's such awful etiquette to do so. ESPECIALLY since I'm having two girls within 3 years of each other. Yes, I have received gifts. My family has been very generous. But they chose to do that on their own. I did not need/want a shower. I have bought most everything I need with my own money (and no, I'm not rich. Not by a long shot. We struggle. I just buy a little something every payday)

Registry question

Re: Registry question

Choose Another Board

Search Boards