Too early to cry it out?

izzetoot · June 2014

My lo is just over 2 weeks old and already a huge paci lover. My lc said it was fine to introduce the paci bc he's been doing so well breast feeding. He uses the paci to sooth but it doesn't put him to sleep, only the boob will do that. Because he is still so little he can't hold the paci in his mouth and it constantly falls out and he starts crying. Yesterday this went on non stop for almost 6 hours and I could not get him to sleep or calm down with out the paci in his mouth. Even with a feeding in between. My DH says we should let him cry it out, but i just feel iike he's too little for that? Advice for a FTM?

TeacherVicky · June 2014

WAY too young to CIO. While some people start at 4m, it is recommended not to let a baby cry out until after 6m of age.

Your baby is 2w old. He is crying because he needs something from you. He's getting used to his new world and you are getting used to being a parent. Your H needs to learn a thing or 2 about babies.

Is he overtired? Is he warm? Is he cold? Maybe he just wants to be held and cuddled. At this age, comfort nursing is normal, it helps to build your supply. If you really want him to take a paci, teach him how to use it (though it will take some time). DD is 5m and still hasn't mastered her paci.

Do you have a carrier or a sling? Something that will allow you to carry your LO but have your hands free.

Make sure your LO is getting enough sleep. At that age, they normally don't handle being awake for longer than 30-60 minutes at a time.

Some babies just cry and no matter what you do, they will keep crying. Both my LO's went through this and it lasted a lot longer with DD. When that happens, all you can do is hold them and comfort them. It can be very hard on you and get frustrating at times, but you do what you can.

flcl · June 2014

Yep, lots of hubbies think it's never too early to try CIO with the babes. My DH has been suggesting it every week since week 1. As PPs have said, it's way to early for that at this point. @teachervicky gave lots of good suggestions. They're tough when they're that young but just think of how hard it is on them... they're working so hard trying to figure out what's going on in this huge world they've just been thrown into! Hang in there, the first few weeks can be rough but they go by fast! GL

izzetoot · June 2014

Thanks ladies, thats how I feel about CIO. I feel like he's way to young for that to register in the slightest. I told my dh that if i have to live on the couch with one arm for 6 weeks, thats what is going to happen. I do have a sling, so will try that out when I need to get things done. And I think yesterday he must have been over tired bc he didn't sleep for such a long time. Thanks for the support and advice!

TeacherVicky · June 2014

Also, I suggest getting the book Happiest Baby on the Block and using the 5 S's:

Swaddling

Shushing

Swing

Side or Stomach position (not for sleeping, just for holding)

Sucking

Both my LO's would calm down instantly when using only a few of the 5 S's. Swaddling was probably the best technique in my house. It calmed them down immediately and helped us all get more sleep.

ETA: for the shushing, I used a white noise app on my phone. Otherwise shushing can get very long.

Avion22 · June 2014

As others have said, it's too young for CIO.

Some older people (like our grandparents' age) might try to tell you that babies should be allowed to cry because it will "exercise their lungs" or "keep them from getting spoiled." This was accepted wisdom back in the day. Nowadays we know that infants can't be spoiled, aren't manipulative, and can't self-soothe. If they cry, it's because they need something.

It's okay to let the crying go on for a very short period of time if your hands are full with something else (another child, going to the bathroom, whatever). I will usually say something like, "I head you buddy, I'll be there in just a minute!" so he hears that I'm responding to him. Sometimes, especially at night, I'll wait to see if it was just one lone cry or if it will escalate. This isn't "crying it out."

LunarMum · June 2014

Yes he's too little. I think your DH is just frustrated. I'd suggest reading up on the 4th trimester. Your baby has been inside of you warm and safe. Being out of the womb is a bit traumatic so sometimes crying is their way of showing this and letting you know they need you. Remember all babies in the beginning need constant physical contact and good energy (they can pick up on your disposition). My baby was the same way and the 4th trimester information really helped me adjust my expectations and methods. I hope this helps!

izzetoot · June 2014

LunarMum said:

Yes he's too little. I think your DH is just frustrated. I'd suggest reading up on the 4th trimester. Your baby has been inside of you warm and safe. Being out of the womb is a bit traumatic so sometimes crying is their way of showing this and letting you know they need you. Remember all babies in the beginning need constant physical contact and good energy (they can pick up on your disposition). My baby was the same way and the 4th trimester information really helped me adjust my expectations and methods. I hope this helps!

Thank you! Thanks great advice

yeah. · June 2014

What the crap.

no, you should not let your tiny baby CIO. That is absurd. Pick him up and hold him, as much as he needs to, for the next 6 months at least.

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