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I think I have to quit

mommy5point0mommy5point0 member
in Working Moms
Hi all! I'm new to the board, having lurked a little while.

I'm 6 weeks pregnant with my 5th. My kids range in age from almost 16 to 10 months. I've been a police dispatcher dor 15 years. Aside from that I have no "real" job experience (I got hired when I was 20).

My husband is an officer for the same department and we work opposing schedules now, so when 1 of us is on our days off, the other is working. 90% of the time it works for us childcare wise, but I am subject to mandatory overtime and both of us have 1 training day a month, plus we are looking to move to an area where we will have a 1 hr 15 minute commute.

With 2 babies being 17 months apart, and all other schedule conflicts considered, I am freaking the F out at the realization I may not be able to keep the job. I have another business idea lined up, but this career saved me when I was going through a nasty divorce (with the 1st 3 kids' dad) and was a sole breadwinner.

Has anyone else ever felt they had to quit? I am really not seeing any other options. I need flexibility because of DH's rotating work schedule. Telecommuting isn't an option in this line of work. My vacation and personal leave banks are nearly depleted since I JUST returned from maternity leave with the last on New Years Day.

I don't know what to think.
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Re: I think I have to quit

  • SunAndRainSunAndRain member
    Only thing I can think to suggest is talking to your supervisor and asking if there is wiggle room in the scheduling that will enable you to continue working until things settle down a bit. Maybe go to 3/4 time for a year or so until home life stabilizes a bit.

    If you want to keep your job and your employer wants to keep you they might be willing the work out a temporary solution for the long term gain of keeping you on staff

    Good luck!
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  • mommy5point0mommy5point0 member
    We are in northern Ca Where real estate is astronomical. This area is all that's left in a good area that it's affordable. We will be paying in other ways, but we can't rent anymore.

    As for the 16yo, the short answer is no. She's staying here with my parents to finish HS. even still, she's not trustworthy enough. Long story behind that... I would trust a teen, but not her.

    I have considered looking for a sitter to cover mandatory OT, but often it's last minute... IE Mommy5point0 there's a sick call and your graveyard shift starts in 3 hours. You're ordered here at that time, sucker. I'm not sure I could find coverage to watch an infant, a toddler and oversee a middle schooler & 5th grader getting to school on time.

    I'm overwhelmed.

    Thank you all for listening. It may be a possibility talking to the boss and asking about working half time, but I doubt she will go for it. She's black and white with no gray. I will always be subject to mandatory overtime as long as I do this job.
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  • cecilyandgautamcecilyandgautam member
    Since you've been there for 20 years, would you feel comfortable asking for an 80% schedule? I know that's hard to ask for when you don't have much leverage, but after 20 years, I would think it doesn't hurt to ask, but I don't know anything about your line of work, so don't know the norms. 

    Another thought is it sounds like you need childcare one day a week + another day or two a month. Is the overlap with your husband somewhat consistent? If it's a Friday, you could try to find a nanny who's off on Fridays (relatively common in my city, where a lot of parents have every other Friday off and the family staggers it so they only need a nanny M-Th) or even a college student because most don't have classes on Fridays. 

    The other thought I have is your oldest is 16, so that's definitely old enough to babysit. Can your 16 year old drive yet and is s/he responsible enough to drive the other school age kids to school? If so, then you'd only need some one to watch the two babies - might be easier for you to find some one who can watch the two smallest ones at their home rather than some one to come to you to watch 5 kids. 
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  • Jills83Jills83 member

    Have you looked into daycares that offer drop-in care?  Many times the rates are higher than normal daycare, but at least you would have something in a pinch.  Also, you might be able to find backup/last minute care through care.com or sittercity.  Someone that could be on call for you just in case.

     

     

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