Community› The Bump Message Boards› Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Babies: 0 - 3 Months
New Discussion

Sleep questions, experienced moms please help!

KittyKittyCat17KittyKittyCat17 member
edited June 2014 in Babies: 0 - 3 Months
My son is just over a month old now and he's decided a few things:

1. He won't sleep more than 20 minutes for naps unless he's being held. He wakes up very soon if not right after being laid down, oh and he WILL not fall asleep laying down, only if held. Trying to get him to fall asleep on his own in the crib is asking for hysterical screaming and crying, and he won't stop until he's picked up and soothed. It's not a complainy cry and then he'll drift off, like a lot of babies will do. If I wanted him to fall asleep like that I'd probably have to leave him screaming for an hour and I'm not doing that. If I want him to actually sleep, and he needs to take naps, I have to hold him.

2. He's decided that around 6pm-12am is his night time. No matter what else, he sleeps steadily through this time. During this time he will sleep when being laid down, held in the air, bounced, anything, he won't wake up. He'll sleep through a feed and go right back to sleep then BAM midnight, eyes open wide and it's very hard to get him back to sleep for hours, usually 3-4 am, and that's when I finally lay him down with me.

Yes, these things have led me to letting him sleep in the bed with me so I can actually get sleep because if he's laying up against me he'll sleep for a couple hours straight. I have to do this if I want to be able to take a nap in the day time too. NO I do not want him to sleep with me, yes I know it's dangerous, but I don't know what else to do. I can not change his sleep schedule. I can literally blare the lights, music, poke, prod, and tickle him, and he won't wake up in the evening hours, he'll slouch right over asleep and if I get him to open his eyes, he'll sleep with his eyes open, and it's like clockwork, he's wide awake when he should be going to sleep.

I don't know what to do! First time mom without any help really, figuring things out on my own, all I've really got is information I can find online.

I need serious answers, suggestions, I've got to fix this before it gets any worse and he gets set in his ways. Plus, I will have to go back to work, and probably not too far from now, and there's no way I can do that like this.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Sleep questions, experienced moms please help!

  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member
    Six solid hours of sleep?  That's fabulous!  Don't discourage that!  He's only four weeks old; he will need time (lots of it) to adjust his schedule, and his natural schedule may never be a perfect match for your.  For now, sleep when he sleeps.  Go to bed at 6pm with him (or no more than an hour later).  It's normal for kids to wake in the night (and often stay awake for a while) - and it will happen again in stages.

    Cosleeping is not necessarily unsafe, but you MUST do it properly.  https://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/
    IMG_8355
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • roo1ooroo1oo member
    I agree with PP. Go with the flow. He's only a month old. It takes some time for babies to get their days and nights straight. But this sounds a lot like what my LO did at 4 weeks or so. He'd sleep a nice stretch during the evening hours, then he'd be up for 2-3 hours until 3am ish, and then he'd pass out for another long stretch. I started going to bed at 8 so I'd have some decent sleep under me when he woke again. You're just gonna have to adjust your schedule for awhile. 

    Also, try baby wearing so you don't have to hold LO all the time while he's sleeping. I liked the Ergo with the infant insert but there are a ton of options out there for baby wearing when newborns. For now just do what you can to get LO to sleep, and worry about putting him down in the crib later. Swings are also amazing for getting LOs to sleep somewhere other than your arms.
    image    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • *sparky**sparky* member
    I agree with the PP who said put him in a carrier during the day and let him nap in there. A lot of babies can only sleep when being held. As far as being able to put him in the crib and have him put himself to sleep that is extremely unlikely at one month old. I honestly would not even make that a goal at this point because you will just make yourself nuts.

    Other than that, try the swing, white noise, have him sleep elevated like in an RNP or something similar. My DS could not sleep flat for the first few months and this LO has only slept on an incline so far as well.

     

    Report Reply
  • ncbellencbelle member
    Ditto on the letting him nap in a carrier - babies want to be close to you!

    Personally, I'm a big fan of bed sharing.  It can be done safely - good info here:  https://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/  Better to prepare to bed share safely than do it as a last result in a potentially unsafe way.

    The best thing you can do to encourage healthy sleep for baby and yourself is to respond to baby's needs - if baby needs to be held, hold him!!  That need won't last forever and one day you'll miss the sweet baby snuggles :)


    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    Report Reply
  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    Honestly, you roll with it. Even if you "fix this" you have the four month sleep regression coming down the pike. You can't "fix" a baby's temperament or natural schedule. As you can see, all attempts usually end in frustration for all.

    Really, babies gonna baby.


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    We've bed shared with DS (safely) since 7 months & with DD since she was 16 months old.

    You pick your battles. Hours of screaming, flailing, trying to hurt themselves & acting like lunatics to get them to sleep in the crib was just not worth it. I wanted peaceful, non-stressful bed time.

    I tried it all. I even consulted a sleep therapist for both babies. I was convinced I "did something wrong". Nope. No physical ailments, no attachment disorders. My babies just want/need me to sleep at night.

    Every sleep expert I went to said, "when is the last time you liked sleeping by yourself? How many adults like sleeping alone? Children are forced to do so for the parents' sleep needs but not always for the childrens' needs. Some babies are ok having their own sleep space. For others it creates anxiety. Those babies won't take a lovey or glow horse. Nothing. They know what they need & it's you. It doesn't last forever, I promise."

    DD can sleep by herself at night now. She usually will come "visit" & cuddle then toddles back to her own bed. Sometimes she doesn't.

    We roll with it.


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"