We Suck at Bedtime

skidderdo · June 2014

Does anyone else feel like a total bedtime failure? This last week has been particularly awful, taking Warner like 1-2 hours to go to bed! wth kid?! He won't take a pacifier, and loves his blankie but isn't totally "soothed" by it. I feel like we are still dependent on bottles (or BFing when I am home for bedtime) which is terrible at this age. He doesn't know how to put himself to sleep and we are incapable of doing a CIO method. With #2 on the way I want Warner going to bed easy and, please Jesus(!!!) sleeping through the night before we get wrecked by a newborn. Any help or advice GREATLY welcomed!
(PS- still naps twice, 9-10 and about 2-3, bedtime at 7, wakes up around 7am)

ChicagoBroad26 · June 2014

I doubt this will be helpful to you but the ONLY way anyone I know has gotten their child to sleep through the night is doing some form of CIO. Many of my friends held out until 18 months or two years, but it's the only thing that eventually worked when they couldn't take it anymore. Sorry, again, I'm sure that's not helpful. Any reason you're opposed to it?

ChicagoBroad26 · June 2014

I just thought of a possibly helpful tip- if you drop him down to one nap then maybe he'll be so exhausted that he'll STTN. Maybe? Hopefully? Good luck girl!

[Deleted User] · June 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

JSS1002 · June 2014

ChicagoBroad26 said:

I just thought of a possibly helpful tip- if you drop him down to one nap then maybe he'll be so exhausted that he'll STTN. Maybe? Hopefully? Good luck girl!

I was also going to suggest trying to drop a nap. We're sort of in the process of that with James right now, and he's so tired by 7 PM that he can't keep his eyes open... He usually only wakes up in the night if he's teething or sick or something is wrong - sometimes he'll make a noise that sounds like the start of crying,but if I give him 5-10 minutes he usually just falls back to sleep.

jaime52005 · June 2014

Has it always taken this long for him to go to sleep or is it new? Ella used Togo to sleep so easily now it's struggle allof a sudden

shadysladyWed98470 · June 2014

What time does he have dinner? Sometimes my little guy will sleep better if I give him a small snack and about an ounce of milk in a sippy before bed. Nothing big, just a few Cheerios or something equivalent. Seems to take care of nighttime hunger. Good luck, sounds tiresome.

JSS1002 · June 2014

Oh,and James is still getting a bottle before bed. I'm not concerned about that.

24ladybug · June 2014

Your not the only one out there.
We have done CIO and it will work for a while then something messes with our schedule. And it just goes to poo.
I can't take it anymore and am a pushover. And my DH is only home two nights a week. Last night was horrible he did bed time and I cried in our room.
It's hard...

ToAoShesha · June 2014

I had/have the same problem. We have boo or addicts. We are doing much better at bed time (naps are a whole different problem). But I would nurse until almost asleep (the eyes are opening and closing tiredly). Then I gently inlacthed and rocked her to sleep. The first few nights if she fought it I would nurse. After a week or two she would let me unlatch and rock to sleep. Then, I moved to I latching and standing near the crib swaying .... And eventually at that sleepy point I stand sway and then put her in the crib still awake. She does really well. Every now and then she lets out a big cry as I exit the room but she is typically quiet by the time I get to the monitor to watch.

If she does cry longer I go back in and sway with her for a few minutes then put her back in the crib. If she is really upset I nurse her.

Good luck!

this had also shortened my night wakings because I nurse, sway and put in the crib (awake or asleep) and now she puts herself to sleep MOTN

it has also made me have to get up less because sometimes she goes back to sleep without needing me.

Angela814 · June 2014

My children started STTN on their own without CIO. My oldest was 5... years. My middle child was 3. The deal in my house is I take the baby and DH takes the older kids in the MOTN. It's worked for us. DD3 still gets nursed to sleep if I'm home and rocked if I'm not. She wakes up 2-3x a night.

lana22 · June 2014

if you are really opposed to CIO you can check out some of the other recs (sleep lady shuffle or no cry sleep solution maybe?) but i strongly recommend at least reading ferber and weissbluth. you don't have to follow anything or do things that you're not comfortable with, but CIO is not leaving your kid wailing uncontrollably for hours.

my oldest always sttn and we didn't do any bedtime CIO, but I was giving my little guy a bottle in the middle of the night and my dr urged me to cut it out b/c it was habit and not necessary. CIO took one night for us -- 5 min of crying, i went in and soothed, 10 min of crying, i went in and soothed, and then 2 more minutes and that was it. from then on he's woken up once in the middle of the night, when he was sick. he's a happy, healthy kid and i'm a happier mom for teaching him that he doesn't need a crutch in the middle of the night.

if you don't want to start out letting him cry for longer periods, you can do shorter periods, 2 min, 5 min, 7 min, 9 min, etc. you are still showing your son that you are there for him and calming him, but also helping him learn to fall asleep on his own. if you are ok having a newborn and still waking up w/ your older son, that's fine. there is no rule he has to be sttn. if you want to try and cut out his wakeups and only be getting up with one kid, you have to teach him to sooth himself and fall asleep on his own.

love4b · June 2014

@skidderdo - we are basically on the exact same schedule and I have no advice. B is still in our bed and nursing a few times a night. We're not in any rush to change things, but if I was pregnant, I think it'd be another story. Hang in there!

katielyn1 · June 2014

I also suggest dropping a nap . Dd usually cries for the first couple minutes after I lay her down but then falls asleep.

JSS1002 · June 2014

minxyglams said:
@skidderdo - we are basically on the exact same schedule and I have no advice. B is still in our bed and nursing a few times a night. We're not in any rush to change things, but if I was pregnant, I think it'd be another story. Hang in there!

Oh gawd, I forgot you were pregnant. I can barely keep my eyes open after a good nights sleep (where I'm lucky in terms of morning sickness, my exhaustion never let's up), I cannot imagine multiple wake ups right now.

LifesGoodMom · June 2014

We are pretty much the same with sleeping. Fwiw, putting ds to sleep is always WAY worse when he's teething. But I don't realize it and freak out and am like "Ive done everything wrong and need to change everything I am doing!!!!" And then it gets a little better after a week or two and I can calm down.

Have you tried nursing on a schedule overnight? So instead of nursing a million times every time he wakes up have a plan to put him down at 7pm, nurse at 12am, nurse at 5am, then do whatever to get him to sleep until 7am. Obvi don't wake him to nurse but don't nurse if he wakes before then. For us I either wear ds or have dh sooth. There is some crying but not alone. Then stretch out the nursing schedule over a few weeks to something you're comfortable with. Before this current tooth was causing trouble we got Logan from 3 hour stretches to 8 hour stretches this way in less than two weeks. But it is hard to follow through on this when you're delirious in the middle of the night.

Also, he may naturally wean as your milk changes with your pregnancy so it might work itself out.

tondraluv · June 2014

I have absolutely no advice sister but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. We are in the process of trying to drop Brayden down to one nap a day. It takes him about an hour to get himself to sleep poor kid.

Sarahbeth1169 · June 2014

Mason has good and bad days. Some days it takes him like 20-40mins to go to sleep other days its as soon as I sit in the rocking chair and hes out like last night. I found if Mason gets at least 20oz of milk during the day he sleeps all night. Also we try to get him outside as much as possible since he tends to sleep all night when he's had more fresh air.

Want a personalized experience?

We Suck at Bedtime

Re: We Suck at Bedtime

Choose Another Board

Search Boards