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Dying of embarrassment

nikkiuknikkiuk member
edited June 2014 in Parenting after 35
I have a big age gap between my kids. Huge. My DD is 21, DS#1 is 16 and now we have DS#2 who is currently in NICU. I took DS#1 to see his new brother and while we were there waiting for him to wake up for his feed, a nurse asked if DS1 was the FATHER. I didn't know whether to die, puke or faint. I'm still so creeped out by it. He was rather proud that he looked old enough to be a father, I pointed out that actually you can be a father younger than 16 lol.

So then took DD to see her new brother and a different nurse asked if she was his Mom! More realistic than the previous error but still ridiculous, bearing in mind I had a big ugly yellow sticker on my chest that they you make you wear saying PARENT and she had one that said BIG SISTER.

Nurses, bear in mind that there are ways of getting information without making a big fat mistake like these two. Assumptions can't be made and the big ugly stickers are a big ugly clue as to the parental status of the people next to the incubators!!!  

Then my DD wasn't allowed to hold the baby as she is a sibling and only parents and grandparents are allowed to hold the babies. WTF? I get that with the younger siblings and NICU babies but come on, she is 21 years old.

Rant over lol
Master of 'the look' 
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Re: Dying of embarrassment

  • GuennieGuennie member
    WOW. I am constantly amazed that people can be so unobservant. And rules are sometimes way too strict without allowing for obvious exceptions. What a shame for your daughter, sorry.

    Along the lines of unobservant people, my baby keeps getting called a boy. It happened yesterday at Target for like the tenth time. And I had her dressed in a berry pink dress with flowers on it. Come on people, I know she has no hair but really?? Use your brains for five seconds please.
    Me:41, DH:41 Positive for MTHFR mutations- one copy C677T, one copy A1298C. One daughter born on Thanksgiving in 2013. Six losses.
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  • nikkiuknikkiuk member
    edited June 2014
    Oh yeah that's aggravating when it's obvious whether a baby is a boy or girl and someone gets it wrong. I'm so careful with that - DS1 was a bald baby too and so I made a point of making him look super-male so nobody got it wrong. They still did.

    One of the consultants (who you would REALLY hope was very observant) stood having a conversation with me and DH last week and called Zachary 'she' and 'her' all the way through while he was stood right next to the large name sign on the incubator. Yes he's a tiny baby in just a diaper in an incubator but the name sign with dinosaurs all over it and a boys name is a clue there too. Sheesh!
    Master of 'the look' 
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  • shelley1002shelley1002 member
    How embarassing about them thinking your son was the dad.  I'm sure that was an honest mistake.  But how do you mess up the big yellow stickers that say the relation to the baby.

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  • springbeduk2springbeduk2 member
    Next visit you and your DD should trade stickers.
    Me: 39  DH: 44  together since 2000 married 9/2004 TTC #1 since 2/2012
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    BFP #3 8/25/2013  EDD 5/7/2014    DD A. born 5/8/2014!!  Love!!!!
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  • aurora1974aurora1974 member
    I have a huge difference in my kids as well and DD2 is mistaken for DD1 all the time. DD1 is 19 and makes a huge deal out of the fact that I'm the mom whenever we are all out together because she doesn't want to be mistaken for the mom.  I just laugh about it most of the time.  However, I know that I would be livid in your situation.  The big yellow stickers should be the biggest clue ever.  And they absolutely should make an exception to the no siblings holding rule.  That's just ridiculous. Hopefully the better your little guy does maybe they will make an exception.  Good luck. 
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  • GuennieGuennie member
    Haha you should give your daughter the parent sticker, they are obviously so blind they won't know the difference! ;)

    ...I'm dumbfounded really the more you say. Maybe they are all just overworked and tired. But attention to detail is pretty damn important when someone's life is in your hands.
    Me:41, DH:41 Positive for MTHFR mutations- one copy C677T, one copy A1298C. One daughter born on Thanksgiving in 2013. Six losses.
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  • steverstever member
    Guennie said:
    WOW. I am constantly amazed that people can be so unobservant. And rules are sometimes way too strict without allowing for obvious exceptions. What a shame for your daughter, sorry. Along the lines of unobservant people, my baby keeps getting called a boy. It happened yesterday at Target for like the tenth time. And I had her dressed in a berry pink dress with flowers on it. Come on people, I know she has no hair but really?? Use your brains for five seconds please.
    I feel ya. DS1 was a very pretty baby. So much so that, despite usually wearing blue and having trucks and dinosaurs on his clothes, people were always calling him a girl.

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  • shelley1002shelley1002 member
    That's awesome!

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  • GuennieGuennie member
    So glad this worked out for you! Yay!!
    Me:41, DH:41 Positive for MTHFR mutations- one copy C677T, one copy A1298C. One daughter born on Thanksgiving in 2013. Six losses.
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  • aurora1974aurora1974 member
    So glad this worked out.  Sometimes it's just all in who you talk to. :)
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    springbeduk2 said:
    Next visit you and your DD should trade stickers.
    LOL - no - you get her a "Grandparent" sticker!
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  • mommy5point0mommy5point0 member
    edited June 2014
    I feel you. My oldest will be 16 in 2 weeks and my youngest is 10 months. I pretty much assume all care and don't take any help with the baby in public because people assume she's the mom and I'm grandma. Wth? And I look young for 35.... It's a sign of the times.

    FWIW my mom had her first at 15 & her last at 41. I was 14 when little sis was born, big sis was 25. My mom got all kinds of shit. People are lame.
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  • nikkiuknikkiuk member
    Lilki     Ohhhhh man.... OUCH!
    Master of 'the look' 
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  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member
    I am the oldest of 7 and was actually 18 when the youngest was born.  People thought I was his mom all the time.  I just shrugged it off and said " No, I'm his sister."

    You are right, they need to be more observant and pay attention; however, in their defense they do see teen parents a lot.  I know when DD was in the NICU so many parents were in their teens.  There was even a 12 year old mom there too.  But you are right.  They need to not make assumptions.  
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  • bumpuser10331514bumpuser10331514 member
    You must have looked damn good for them to have not suspected you of having just given birth. In my case, no one could have possibly been confused...
    One boy (11.26.12) and one girl (2.28.14)
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