Which one of you are going under if you're done?

jaminjeff · June 2014

Are you having a tubal or is your husband having a vasectomy?

My insurance hasn't answered me yet on if they'll cover a tubal while I'm having my c-section, but I know for certain they cover a vasectomy at 100%, which is what most people at my work opt for between the spouses. So at this point my husband is having a vasectomy this winter, probably around the holidays when he's already off.

Have you even discussed it? Is your DH one of those that is freaked about it if it's on them to have the surgery (My DH was fine with it)?

sweetbabyrahe · June 2014

DH plans to next spring. He has no problems with it. He says it is a more than fair trade considering all we women go through during pregnancy, labor, etc. Plus, I really struggled with finding a good birth control option for me prior to TTC which contributed to our fertility issues, so he doesn't want me to have to go back on anything and he definitly doesn't want to use condoms. It was an easy choice for us.

emoxymoose · June 2014

Have you considered this: https://www.essure.com

It's non invasive and almost pain free, several friends have had it done and loved how easy it was. The cons are that it can't be reversed but if you're sure I think it's a great idea.

Edit: Major mind/ autocorrect fail

jaminjeff · June 2014

I will say the only reason I'm considering it myself is because I'll already be in surgery for a c/s, otherwise I'd probably have already scheduled it for my DH.

My sister had two children and they were done. Her husband was scheduled for his vasectomy when their second was ~3 months old. My sister found out the week of that she was pregnant with twins. She ended up losing one of them, but had the other one and my nieces are 1 year and 6 days apart.

I always felt bad because they ended up divorcing and she had a tubal after the third one. They both remarried and to people who had no children. Her ex was able to have two more kids. My sister's new husband wanted children also and they tried IVF since her tubes were tied, spent a lot of money and were not successful :-(

abbyful · June 2014

When we decide we are done, DH will be the one "getting fixed". It's much easier for a man.

mockingjay1 · June 2014

kyliedaniellexx said:

Vasectomies are much easier on the man than a tubal ligation is for a woman. I'm not sure if I would even consider the procedure. But SO and I are both young and have time to figure it out. Funny story - my mom went for a tubal ligation shortly after I was born. They told her they couldn't do the procedure because guess what? She was pregnant! And that's how my sister came to be.

I agree with the bolded. When I worked in mother baby some moms would get a tubal with their c-section, and they were always in so much more pain than those that just got a c-section. If/when DH and I decide we are done having children he will get a vasectomy.

Melissa2216 · June 2014

DH is fine with it. He's probably going to get a vasectomy since it's easier to reverse if we decided to try for another one years down the road. I know I will be happy with two boys, but there's a part of me that feels like I might be missing out if I don't have a girl. Then again, 3 boys sounds a bit much...

jjandmeg · June 2014

We are planning on DH having a vasectomy. I did tell my Dr. if for some reason I need a c-section then I would opt for a tubal. I don't foresee that happening but you never know. So at this point, it's a little snip and clip for the DH

wildflower75 · June 2014

It makes me so frustrated to see so many Husbands are actually rational and getting a vasectomy and mine won't even entertain the conversation so that I can state the medical reasons why it would be better... UGH... he just refuses to even consider it...
So out of frustration and refusing to continue to take the pill I will be getting my tubes tied when I give birth to this little one by RCS.
UNLESS
we win the lotto before Nov, in which case I'll TTC for baby #3 in Nov of next year!!

shindylahoe · June 2014

Once we decide we are ready to make the permanent decision then dh will go under the knife.
We always joke and say, "snip snip, bag of peas"

lisaren · June 2014

I had a tubal then a reversal. Make sure you're done when you do anything permanent!! It's expensive to reverse!

mb314 · June 2014

I'm 99.9999 percent sure I'm done, but I'll probably do something like an IUD (Mirena).

Kristy774 · June 2014

DH is getting sniped! We've discussed it at length and he agrees with PP's that after all I've gone through having our children, it's the least he can do!

mamatohne · June 2014

Dh is getting sniped when we are done. I know this sounds weird but taking away my ability to have babies is out of the question.

lisaren · June 2014

tarynleann said:
Dh is getting sniped when we are done. I know this sounds weird but taking away my ability to have babies is out of the question.

I agree!!

mamatohne · June 2014

And if we did get divorced he wouldn't be able to have kids with any one else

carcrashheart · June 2014

I'm pretty sure we are done after this. I never wanted bc before because I'm obviously infertile. DH is willing to get things taken care of. The problem with that is for me I can't help but watch my body go through it's cycle and I'm afraid I will still feel the need to time sex, even though I'd prefer to be done. So I will probably go back on some cheap bc to stop all of that. I am considering getting my tubes tied to make that permanent but I'm not sure.

CPM13 · June 2014

DH. His idea, which was fine by me.

MrsAdventure · June 2014

This is our first, so we have no plans to get anything done soon but dispute DH's disinterest, it will be him. Not just because it's a much simpler procedure though. Back before DH and I met, he was in a bull riding accident and had one testicle removed. I tease him that it has to be him who gets the snip because it'll be half price! ;;) He doesn't think this is nearly as funny as I do, but I am totally serious as well, which is what worries him I think.

mrsransom · June 2014

We agreed a LONG time ago that it would be DH. He knows it is a simple outpatient procedure & I have to go through a lot more to carry & deliver a baby, so it was an easy decision. Not that he would be thrilled about getting it done, but he would definitely do it. We know now that he is pretty much infertile. We have 2 miracles. So it's like...it probably wouldn't happen again, but it obviously COULD, so we have no idea what we are going to do!

morrkim · June 2014

H says after the twins are born he is getting a vasectomy. I don't want him to get one because we will be officially done then.

Sarahbeth612 · June 2014

@lisaren what is the reversal like? Are there any risks or is it a longer recovery?

DH would get a vasectomy today if it were up to him. I would rather wait 5-10 years for those kinds of talks, but I wouldnt mind having a house filled with babies either

MommaKb710 · June 2014

jjandmeg said:
We are planning on DH having a vasectomy. I did tell my Dr. if for some reason I need a c-section then I would opt for a tubal. I don't foresee that happening but you never know. So at this point, it's a little snip and clip for the DH

I spoke with my OB about this. He advised against me getting a tubal if I needed a C-section. This is because if I needed a C-section it would be in an emergency situation and, not to be morbid, but you never know what can happen. He said if he did the tubal and something went wrong after, and I wanted more kids, id likely be devastated.

Carebella · June 2014

This is our first and probably/hopefully not our last so we've got time. But I think my DH is on board with getting a vasectomy. Even if he isn't, that's what's happening. I figure it's pretty hard to argue against the fact that it is A) reversible and

an easy outpatient procedure. No way am I going to agree to anything that causes me any pain or discomfort given that I've had to deal with AF, being pregnant and labor.

ColtiersMom · June 2014

DHbis getting a vasectomy after the next baby is born, we will have 3 by that time. When I first mentioned it years ago-he was freaked out and totally against it but since then he has educated himself about it and is completely on board:)

turtles7 · June 2014

DH volunteered to get a snipped well before we seriously talked about kids. I will still go back on birth control regardless of whether we are done or not. I love knowing when to expect my period.

MrsAdventure · June 2014

Econosaurus said:

Since my husband actually performs vasectomies quite regularly we've talked about it. A bunch of Valium and an order to clean the pipes a certain number of times sounds super rough, haha. He agreed it makes sense when we are both ready so all we have to do is decide what that time is. He has hinted at doubling down and me having a tubal as well but we'll see. Apparently they just go in through your belly button now! Crazy.

My first thought, when you said that they go in through the belly button, was of that awful feeling when you press your belly button. Makes me cringe. Lol, I know I'd be knocked out, but I don't think I'll be volunteering that tidbit to DH. I don't want him getting out of it with the excuse that it's not such a big deal for women. Lol.

2ndGeneration · June 2014

Just a thought from an older mom here-has anyone considered a diaphgram? I loved mine. After the first 5 kids, we were 'done'. I used one for 10 years and never had a pregnancy. No hormones, no side effects (they come in latex and silicone) and it's cheap and easy.
Then last year, we decided we WEREN'T done, and tossed it! After 2 m/c's, we are having our girl in Nov.
I feel like a lot of docs think the diaphgram is 'old-fashioned' and don't suggest it, and many women don't know about it. It's worth a look into, before the surgeries and all that.

Maelara · June 2014

I had a csection last time but am trying for a VBAC this time. If I do need a csection I will be getting a tubal. No matter which way, DH will be getting a vasectomy. I figure, I was the one pregnant and I gave birth. He can do this one thing.

It's funny, he never wanted to get a vasectomy before but after he saw how rough being pregnant is on me and my body (let alone birth) he never questioned it again. He's just getting one now.

NunyaBennis · June 2014

2ndGeneration said:
Just a thought from an older mom here-has anyone considered a diaphgram? I loved mine. After the first 5 kids, we were 'done'. I used one for 10 years and never had a pregnancy. No hormones, no side effects (they come in latex and silicone) and it's cheap and easy.
Then last year, we decided we WEREN'T done, and tossed it! After 2 m/c's, we are having our girl in Nov.
I feel like a lot of docs think the diaphgram is 'old-fashioned' and don't suggest it, and many women don't know about it. It's worth a look into, before the surgeries and all that.

This makes me think of the episode of Seinfeld when today's sponge was discontinued & Elaine bought out NYC. Ah, bc loyalty.
I felt old-fashioned when I got the plain ol' copper IUD a decade before popularity of the Mirena surged & people were warmed up to the idea again. I can't take hormones & I doubt I'll get another paragard. Condoms = PITA due to the interruption, leading me to think the diaphgram may be the same way (correct me if I'm wrong). Hmm... The rhythm method worked (considering we were open to the idea of me getting pregnant

) ) Guess we'll stick to that for now.
BiL got snipped last year. Maybe his brother took note that it's "not that bad" but if not, essure when I'm good & ready.

2ndGeneration · June 2014

The diaphgram took some getting used to LOL, the first few times getting it in were funny. Once we got used to it, it took less than a minute. But the first few times were a learning curve! Although, you can put it in up to an hour before sex. We never did though-like most parents, an hour before we were giving baths or doing dishes or checking homework : )

missnacholover · June 2014

DH will be getting snipped when we're done. We will most likely stop at 2, but will have that conversation in the future as this is Numero Uno for us.

phdprocrastinator · June 2014

I tried to talk to DH about this way back when we were just dating, and he refused to discuss it. I wasn't even talking about us - just in a hypothetical "doesn't it just make more sense for the man to do it?" sort of way.

After DD, it came up and he indicated that he'd be open to it, but he's also open to having three kids. I'm pretty sure I'm done at two. I hate being pregnant and have always wanted just two. So it's in the cards, but nothing is planned yet...