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Need Advice Please

Pookster1020Pookster1020 member
in Late Term and Child Loss
*Siggy Warning*

My best friend just lost her baby at 14 weeks due to a genetic abnormality.  I am heartbroken for her and just looking for some advice on things that I can do to help her through this.  I appreciate any feedback.
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Re: Need Advice Please

  • hsabyanhsabyan member
    Do things for her, don't ask.  Bring meals. Mow the lawn. Help care for any other children or pets.
    Show your presence, but don't linger unless she wants to talk about things.  A lot of people tell you that they are there if you need them or let them know if you need anything- but when you're grieving, you don't always feel up to calling someone and asking for help... sometimes it's better to just do things instead of waiting to be asked.  
    One of the nicest things I had done for me was a group of my friends got together after my baby's funeral and whipped up two boxes worth of prepared food/crockpot food and froze them, along with purchasing us some groceries.  We are still eating the frozen foods and it's so nice not to have to worry about grocery shopping or cooking/meal planning.  I had a ton of people offer help "if we needed it".  We weren't going to ask people to shop for us, but it was wonderful that someone went ahead and did it anyway. 
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  • lrichmond86lrichmond86 member
    I'm on mobile so I can't see your siggy but if your pregnant be prepared for the fact that she may not want to see you for a while. One of the hardest things for me was (and still is) setting my pregnant friends and thinking "that's supposed to be me, too, right now". The friends who were understanding of that and gave me space are still my friends. The ones who got bent out of shape I cut ties with. For me the best the best thing anyone could do was just wait for me to come around and let me know that they were happy to see me when I did.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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  • Pookster1020Pookster1020 member
    Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply to me. I sincerely appreciate it.
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  • lexusolsenlexusolsen member
    One thing that has been amazing is that my BFF has just listened. She doesn't try to explain it away with any cliches. She just listens whenever I want to talk about Ben. That means so much to me. She also remembers that his due date is coming up. So I guess my advice is to listen to her, follow her lead on what she needs, and remember the baby's due date and birthdate. She remind her that you are thinking of her on those days.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

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  • Pookster1020Pookster1020 member
    Thank you Lexusolsen - that is what I've been trying to do.  I really appreciate all of your feedback.
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