OMG, Overwhelmed

deviousmuse · June 2014

So hubby and I have been talking about moving to Jacksonville, Florida for about a year (we live in Atlanta now). The biggest problem was that we had to sell my townhome, and we were waiting for prices to come up in the area so we could at least break even. Then, when we got the BFP, we decided that we would put the discussion on hold and talk again once the LO was closer to a year old and more mobile (so Sept 2015).

For a great company. With a 30k raise (and lower cost of living). And a position that is perfectly suited to what DH is doing and wants to do in the future.

On Tuesday, DH got a phone call out of the blue from a recruiter - which isn't all that unusual, as he works in a specialized field that has had a lack of qualified people lately. But this recruiter was calling about a job in Jacksonville. I told DH to go ahead and see it through, as it couldn't hurt to find out more information. Yesterday morning, DH submitted his resume. Within an hour, they had sent him an aptitude test (he passed). By the end of the day, they had called both of his references, and we found out that the position was perfectly suited to what DH wants to do in the long-term and came with a 30k raise and a relo package (and in a city with a lower cost of living).

They have asked us now to look at our calendars so they can fly us both down for an in-person interview and so we can get familiar with the area. Luckily, my BFF lives down there, so we're already really familiar with the area, hence why it was already on our list.

All of this is so amazing, but also happening so quickly! Obviously they would need him to start fairly quickly (they've been looking for someone for 6 months), so that means we'd possibly be a commuter couple for the last 3 months of my pregnancy. Or less, depending on how quickly our house sells. But that means I could be going to a new OB and touring a new hospital in a new city in the waning weeks. And potentially without a job (because who is honestly going to hire a woman this close to needing maternity leave?) And don't get me started on the idea of telling my parents that we might be taking their first grandbaby away.

When I explained all this to DH, he heard the panic in my voice and said that he'd just tell them we're not interested. But I then told him it wasn't that I didn't want to pursue it, I was just so overwhelmed by the idea of so much change and it being so sudden.

Anywho... just needed to get it out there, as the only person who knows is my BFF, as she's been giving us input on potential areas of town to look at for renting when we come down.

Soogerplum · June 2014

It sounds to me like it is a fantastic opportunity and things like that don't come along every day. It can be scary as hell and completely overwhelming but I think that it is definitely doable. I personally wouldn't pass it up but you have to make the best decision for your family. Trust me though...moving with a one year old is just as difficult! I've done it lol! Either way, you guys will know what's right for you! Best of luck!

hizah05 · June 2014

Ok, we just went through the exact same thing and it all worked out. Just breath and really talk out what this would all mean. Yes, it's extremely overwhelming and I probably had a few breakdowns. Our quick story: We lived in IL. In February my H got a job offer in TN. Same as you, way better cost of living, higher pay, had to leave our family, etc... He moved there in March while I waited for our house to sell. Luckily it only took 45 days to get an offer and I was moved to TN with him 2 weeks ago. It is very stressful though and moving is not for the faint of heart. Especially if your have 4,000 sq. ft worth of furniture and house like we do. The awesome part is you'll get relocation which will help you greatly. I have some great tips for working with a moving company if you have questions.

A couple things I had to remember:

Ask for help when you need it.

Living apart is not permanent.

You can't control when your house sells just do everything you can to make it appealing and be reasonable on price or do what you can afford.

There's no time limit on unpacking once you get to your new location. Take your time!

Do what's ultimately best for you and
your family.

Also, as far as doctors, ask your friend for references or have your H ask around with the new company. My H's new boss gave me a recommendation (from his wife) and I met my new doctor this week and love her.

Good luck! I hope everything works out. Feel free to PM me, I really feel like our situations are incredibly similar so I'll talk about it any time.

bumpuser10199668 · June 2014

I am no help but want to say bless your heart! I am overwhelmed for you! I hope and pray you can figure out what will suit you best. Good luck!!

jortiz780 · June 2014

Wow! I couldn't imagine dealing with all of that right now. You will make the right decision even though it seems scary and overwhelming now. Good luck to you!

A&DPritchett2be · June 2014

Good Luck! It will all work out!

TantiveIV · June 2014

Don't let the "short-term" issues dissuade you from a fantastic opportunity, but only you and your husband can decide what's right for you. My husband and I have faced this issue several times - but for the most part we've been offered a promotion and higher-pay in a higher cost-of-living city that's a 1 1/2 hour flight or 12 hour drive from both of our families. Once I got past the overwhelming short-term issues, it really came down to comparing our quality of life in both places. For the time being we're going to stay put so that our parents can enjoy their first grandchild and we can be close to them to support them and their various issues. These opportunites may or may not roll around for my husband again, but at least we know we're happy where we are. If your husband is that sought-after due to his specialized field, you may find that the opportunity will come around for him too.

dinodna3 · June 2014

It sounds like it is meant to be for you to move to Jacksonville. Sure moving is overwhelming but it sounds like the opportunity is too good to pass up.

I hopefully will be in your same shoes, a job opened in my husbands company in Tampa. I am from St. Pete and I have been longing to move back home. He is going to tell his boss on Monday that he is applying for the transfer. Praying that everything works out.

nilvero · June 2014

That's so exciting! And yes totally overwhelming but it seems like your plan is coming true.

If you do come, I like my practice a lot and the hospital I'm delivering at is supposed to be one of the best! Just an FYI!

Good luck with everything!

keverest · June 2014

I don't have any personal experience to give you advice from. But listen to your heart and do what feels right for all of you. I am personally not a fan of change, but it's sometimes fun to go with the flow and who knows, you might love it!! With big decisions I usually write out a pro/cons list and see what is longer and then see how I feel about the results. Good luck!!

nstark2908 · June 2014

I desperately want to leave columbus, so if I were given this opportunity I'd jump on it. That being said, you have to do what's right for you. If moving would cause you this much stress this late in the pregnancy, then I would hold off until after the baby comes.

Morocco · June 2014

Congratulations.. How exciting for you and your family. I'd say go for it.. The next few months are going to pass and be overwhelming no matter what you decide. Might as well be where you want to be when you come out the otherside!;) and grandparents are resilient, in this day and age skype,FaceTime etc is amazing.. Do what's best for your little family xx goodluck

MrsLaLaBug · June 2014

I second jotting down a list of pros and cons, sometimes seeing everything in black and white can help instead of having all the thoughts swirling in your head!! But what an awesome opportunity!! I hope everything works out for the best for y'all! It might not be easy but it might def be worth it!!

deviousmuse · June 2014

Thanks so much for all the support and advice, ladies!

I agree that writing it all down in black and white may help me get my thoughts together and feel a little more calm about it.

I think all the unknowns are what challenge me so much - trying to find a place to live (we found a house we love, but it was pulled off the market a few days ago, but not because it has sold, so kinda random), investigating daycares, etc. Luckily, my BFF just had her son in December and loves her OB & hospital where she delivered, so I can get that lined up.

Honestly, telling my parents is what is going to be the hardest. But we'll cross that bridge when we have to.

deviousmuse · June 2014

I wanted to provide an update for you fab ladies who gave me such great advice and support...

Hubby had the phone interview on Monday morning, and had a call back from the recruiter before the day was over that we needed to start looking at calendars.

We're heading down there next Thursday so DH can spend all day Friday in the in-person interviews, and then we're going to hang for the weekend getting a feel for the city and driving around with my BFF and her family.

Recruiter hinted at they may be ready to give him an offer as early as that same day -- basically, he'd have to bomb those interviews for them not to want him at this point.

This is really happening. Or, to quote my BFF last night: "ERMAGHERD YOU MIGHT LIVE HERE SOON!!!"

nilvero · June 2014

deviousmuse said:
I wanted to provide an update for you fab ladies who gave me such great advice and support...

Hubby had the phone interview on Monday morning, and had a call back from the recruiter before the day was over that we needed to start looking at calendars.

We're heading down there next Thursday so DH can spend all day Friday in the in-person interviews, and then we're going to hang for the weekend getting a feel for the city and driving around with my BFF and her family.

Recruiter hinted at they may be ready to give him an offer as early as that same day -- basically, he'd have to bomb those interviews for them not to want him at this point.

This is really happening. Or, to quote my BFF last night: "ERMAGHERD YOU MIGHT LIVE HERE SOON!!!"

That is so exciting! Hope it all works out. I really do love this city and totally agree with PP about being close to the beach and other fun places!

deviousmuse · June 2014

Just back in the land of the internets after a whirlwind weekend down in Jax.

DH loved the company, and we got a good vibe from the team. We haven't gotten the offer (yet), but seeing as his lunch with his potential boss ran an hour over, and said boss came back to the hotel to meet me as well, we're taking all of those signs as positives.

The rest of our time was exploring neighborhoods that we might want to consider renting in initially, and then driving around a few areas that we could envision for purchasing a home in the future.

Now, I'm creating a budget spreadsheet to see what our options are if my work decides to not be flexible and allow me to work remotely, and how we would need to cut down expenses to live on one income (good thing to see that it's positive, just tight).

Will let you fab ladies know when I have more news!

Ivorytower2 · June 2014

This sounds great, and you guys will be OK! My fam had the same situation, but it was 100% worth it to get to move where we've always wanted to live. Even being apart for a few months wouldn't be that bad- especially because your fam is so close by. Good luck to you guys!

dinodna3 · June 2014

Great news. Glad you had such a positive trip

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