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What is the etiquette on bridal showers?

sschwegesschwege member
in Baby Showers
If the bride has been married once before, but is getting married again is to appropriate to have another bridal shower?  Like, if a baby shower is to welcome you to parenthood is a bridal shower to welcome you into married life?  Merely a hypothetical, was pondering it while cracking open the cookie jar for my Double Stuf Oreos.  Seriously though, just curious...
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Re: What is the etiquette on bridal showers?

  • VORVOR member

    This is one of those things that I go back and forth on.  If a GOOD friend got remarried and she had a shower, chances are I'd go.

     

    But there is a part of me that is becoming more and more adverse to ALL these gift giving events.  I just feel like EVERY life event is now becoming a reason to throw a party AND get gifts.  Living my life shouldn't require my friends to buy me stuff.  KWIM? 

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  • DBonfanteDBonfante member
    My cousin recently got married to a woman was married before. She had a bridal shower where instead of gifts they register for their honeymoon. I didn't go.
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  • dufferoodufferoo member
    Can I just say I don't even understand bridal showers at all. Why do we need to shower a bride with gifts right before the wedding when we will be showering the happy couple with more gifts, often from the exact same registry? I'm not saying it's bad etiquette (for a first-time bride anyways), I just don't understand the tradition. Can anyone shed light??
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  • ordinary1ordinary1 member
    jociejones said:
    Can I just say I don't even understand bridal showers at all. Why do we need to shower a bride with gifts right before the wedding when we will be showering the happy couple with more gifts, often from the exact same registry? I'm not saying it's bad etiquette (for a first-time bride anyways), I just don't understand the tradition. Can anyone shed light??
    Though people bring gifts to the wedding reception and give gifts after the wedding, a wedding is not a gift giving event; a shower is.

    I think second showers of any type are tacky.
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  • DBonfanteDBonfante member
    Darbie914 said:

    DBonfante said:

    My cousin recently got married to a woman was married before. She had a bridal shower where instead of gifts they register for their honeymoon. I didn't go.


    Honeymoon registeries are unbelievably tacky and gross. Pay for your own sexcation.
    Haha!!! Completely agree!!
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  • mommy5point0mommy5point0 member
    I was married twice too. The first time I was 19 and (gulp) pregnant. Justice of the peace. Not a happy event and much of my family wasn't in attendance. No shower, no celebration, no gifts. Nothing. It was fine. The marriage ended the same way.

    Years later I remarried. It was his first marriage and we had a wedding. His mom and sister insisted on throwing a shower which I obliged to in the interest of family harmony. It was small and super low key. I expected nothing and it was very sweet.

    If I had a bigger or traditional affair the first time I probably wouldn't have had a wedding the second time. If I invited the same people or was even friends with the same people I definitely wouldn't have had a shower under any circumstances. It felt safe because not one person at that wedding or shower was there the first time (except my dad and my younger brother).

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  • sschwegesschwege member
    mommy5point0 said:
    I was married twice too. The first time I was 19 and (gulp) pregnant. Justice of the peace. Not a happy event and much of my family wasn't in attendance. No shower, no celebration, no gifts. Nothing. It was fine. The marriage ended the same way. Years later I remarried. It was his first marriage and we had a wedding. His mom and sister insisted on throwing a shower which I obliged to in the interest of family harmony. It was small and super low key. I expected nothing and it was very sweet. If I had a bigger or traditional affair the first time I probably wouldn't have had a wedding the second time. If I invited the same people or was even friends with the same people I definitely wouldn't have had a shower under any circumstances. It felt safe because not one person at that wedding or shower was there the first time (except my dad and my younger brother).
    I have a cousin who was in a similar situation, though she wasn't pregnant.  But young, justice of the peace, just immediate family in attendance, no gifts, they didn't even exchange/wear wedding rings.  They were divorced in less than two years and honestly I think most people forgot that she was ever married.  

    When she got married the second time it was a traditional church wedding and she had a shower and all that, it was the groom's first marriage.  I don't think anyone side-eyed her for it, as I said I think most people forgot her first marriage ever took place, her first husband was never around and when they got divorced he left the country.  

    Maybe it's not proper etiquette, but I wouldn't side-eye someone for a situation such as yours.
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  • mommy5point0mommy5point0 member
    edited June 2014
    Double post! Sorry.
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  • mommy5point0mommy5point0 member
    Maybe it's not proper etiquette, but I wouldn't side-eye someone for a situation such as yours.
    Thanks. I got a sense that was the general sentiment as I never heard anything adverse and my mom who is by far my biggest critic and will take any opportunity to cut me down (sad but true) said nothing. A lot of my friends and all my family/his family knew I had been married as I had 3 kids from that marriage but like I said before, they weren't around the first time and definitely weren't in attendance.
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  • silverwings72silverwings72 member
    Darbie914 said:

    DBonfante said:

    My cousin recently got married to a woman was married before. She had a bridal shower where instead of gifts they register for their honeymoon. I didn't go.


    Honeymoon registeries are unbelievably tacky and gross. Pay for your own sexcation.
    This. Yes! Why should I pay for your sexcation?? I'd rather buy my own, thank you very much.
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  • AMcLawsAMcLaws member
    When my friend got married for the second time, she was really reluctant to have another shower. But he was a first time groom, and his family really wanted her to have a shower. She had a very small one that was his family, her sisters and us girls in her bridal party. It appeased his family, without being the HUGE affair her first one was.
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