Panic today

Izzy0927 · June 2014

Hi ladies,

I'm only about 4 weeks 5 days along, and I'm starting to get panicked. I've known for over a week now, and was doing pretty well. I got my betas drawn last Friday and this Monday, and the numbers were great. But now I feel too far from the last test, and I'm starting to let PgAL brain take over. I'm convinced today something is wrong. I'm so scared of losing a baby again. I have my first U/S next Friday and I'm so scared. It was supposed to be this Friday but I pushed it back, thinking they wouldn't be able to see enough this early, but now I'm regretting it.

What can I do to relax? Should I call the doctor and see if I can come in for more betas? Is that even worth it? I just have this bad feeling today and I hate it. I told 2 people yesterday (not sharing my news- one was my boss and I was explaining doctors appointments and one girl guessed because I wasn't drinking) and now I'm terrified I jinxed myself. My brain is making me lose it and I just can't get back to feeling okay.

Sorry for the vent, but I feel like no one else understands.

larahouseman · June 2014

6 weeks will be perfect for an ultrasound. I don't think it will make you feel better to get an ultrasound where they won't be able to really see anything.

And congrats on your great beta numbers!

DenaMaree · June 2014

Sorry your not able to relax and enjoy the BFP, darn past MC. If you think getting your beta's checked will help you to relax, I would get it done! I don't know if it's the same for you, but for me it's all of $7 and seeing that the numbers rise from last time will be reassuring.

LilNugget19 · June 2014

I agree with PP that pushing it back to 6 weeks was a good decision. If it would calm your brain I see nothing wrong with requesting another beta draw before your appointment. The results you have had so far with your betas are great so try and focus on the positive!

SuperKim13 · June 2014

Yes, as others have said, there is absolutely no way that telling someone about your pregnancy can cause a miscarriage. At this point, all you have are good signs that things are progressing normally, so remind yourself of that. I know that the wait until that ultrasound seems like an eternity, but it will be here soon. I don't think that getting more betas is going to do anything for you at this point.

I would just sit tight and remind yourself that your desire to have this baby is stronger than your fear of loss.

Good luck, PgAL brain sucks, but we are lucky to be pregnant!

haleyusf · June 2014

((hugs)) We totally understand what you're going through, but I think it was smart to push back your u/s. You're much more likely to see a heartbeat after 6wks. Remember, today you are pregnant. Today, you love your baby. You are pregnant until a medical professional tells you otherwise.

classicstar28 · June 2014

I am so sorry you're feeling this way. I've definitely had those days, too. They are not fun. I agree with PP. I have found the mantras very helpful and I try to stay busy on days that are really rough to keep my mind off my worries. I also try to meditate and use positive visualization to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. Hang in there! Next Friday will be here before you know it!

JessicaG220 · June 2014

I agree with all of the above. Just wanted to send you hugs and good wishes for next Friday!

Bigboneded · June 2014

I get it, pgal sucks.... I got a positive seems like 6 months ago and today I am all of 6w2d... I had a beta drawn last week, no comparison and my OB is 2 weeks out yet.... not really telling anyone.... so I asked to talk to the psychologist and I will see her next week and go from there. Is that an option for you?? I know I will struggle with anxiety through the pregnancy, so I need help to deal with it starting now.... (((hugs to you))) 8-}

Izzy0927 · June 2014

Thank you everyone for all your advice. I've been coming back here and rereading your words all day, and they really soothed me. I went out at lunch and got a blowout and read trashy magazines for 45 minutes, and it was great just to get out of my own head. I'm going to bookmark this so I can come back and read it when I need to hear some voices from this sisterhood. I so appreciate it, and I truly am feeling better.

I called my doctor because I've been kinda crampy, and we've been in touch all day. They said if I'm still feeling crampy in the morning, I should come in tomorrow for an ultrasound, so it's nice to know that's an option. But tonight, I'm just going to put on a stupid movie, put my feet up, and drink a ton of water.

Thanks again ladies!

sberke · June 2014

I to am having one of those days for the last couple of days actually! It seems all symptoms have gone away... and I know they say that a lot of times means nothing but I still can't help it! My boobs were sore and swollen, my stomach was bloated like crazy, I was tired and nauseous on and off through the day and now I really don't seem to feel any of that the last two days. I never imagined how hard it would be after a miscarriage! I even almost have my husband convinced something isn't right! He wants me to call the Dr. and I feel a little like a crazy lady to do that and I know I can't do that throught he entire rest of the 6 1/2 months!

Try to stay positive and I will hopefully take that advise as well. I have to wait until the 17th for my next apt.

JCM285 · June 2014

I totally understand how you feel. I kept feeling like telling people jinxed my other pregnancies but as other PPs have said, its totally not true. Hang in there and FX for a great upcoming scan!

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