Do you ever feel too old for this... (kids mentioned)

SillySally24 · June 2014

Does anyone else have friends with grandchildren - while you're trying to conceive your own child? I have a couple of friends as grandparents, and it makes me feel too old for this on one hand. So then I have to remind myself that I'm not too old for this! But if when I have a baby, it'll be younger than their grandchildren. Just seems weird...

kelley72 · June 2014

I do have a few friends with grandchildren, but those are the friends that are older than me- only by a few years, but yes it is an odd occurance. I have already run into people that think my last baby is a grandchild.... it is just another prejudice that people hold and I'm all for busting outdated ideas down.

Take care and best wishes!

Davie813 · June 2014

**More babies mentioned**

Nah, not weird!

In my personal experience, for what that's worth, a decent proportion of my high school classmates are indeed grandparents. However, one of my best friends from high school just had a baby in May (she's almost 40), and those of my friends from college and grad school who have kids have babies or small children.

But, anecdotes =/= data. so...

From the CDC: (full link here: https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm6147a7.htm)
Between 2007–2011, birth rates decreased for all women aged <35 years, with rates for women aged 20–24 years (85.3 per 1,000 population) and those aged 15–19 years (31.3) reaching historic lows. The birth rate for women aged 25–29 years decreased 9% (to 107.2), and the rate for women aged 30–34 years decreased 6% (to 96.5). The birth rate for women aged 35–39 years was unchanged (47.2), and the rate for women aged 40–44 years increased 10% (to 10.3).

We're not old--we're trendsetters!

tlc35 · June 2014

I do have a few friends that recently became grandparents and my youngest sister had friends whose grandparents were the same age as our parents. She was born when my parents where 41 and 45. It is really strange to see people I think of as contemporaries with grandkids or kids graduating high school though.

lcwed · June 2014

I don't experience the grandparent part, but DD is the youngest of all our friends so I feel older. Some have kids already graduating high school. The first time I saw that was a big OMG moment. I just remind myself they started earlier than we did and they are already done where as I get to experience everything for the first time and hopefully in a more comfortable and mature place. DH and I did give each other the this may be us look when we were watching "This Is 40" and they had the older pregnant lady. @Davie813 Thank you for finding those statistics. They are encouraging to see.

SillySally24 · June 2014

Thank you @Davie813 - that helped

Don't know that I've ever been a trendsetter before - yea us!

sidey1 · June 2014

**siggy warning**

My oldest sister had her kids young, so I have a nephew that's 20 and a neice thats 16. It's definately weird at times, but I think they're glad they were "only" children growing up because they got all the attention and now they love playing and hanging with DS. My other sister who is 43 has an almost two year old so it's definately odd at times to see that my oldest sister is nearing the end of her child raising and we're just getting started!

[Deleted User] · June 2014

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BeckyP005 · June 2014

Yep I do. I'm not happy about having a newborn close to 47 if this cycle works. Nope not at all. Just depresses me. That's just me but nothing I can do about it lol.

chucktgirl · June 2014

Yes. Only a few have grandchildren, but many have adult children. I posted recently on IFV how all the graduations have been particularly painful for me. It's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I'm desperately trying to have a newborn when most of my friend's children are graduating high school. It is so foreign. It is also painful because I simply don't know anyone else like me. It does make me question myself and my babyquest.

SillySally24 · June 2014

JimBobCooter BeckyP005 - I am completely empathetic with you. I'm glad to have all of you to lean on and talk to. Thank you

MelissaMiso · June 2014

Luckily, my friends that were "early" to have kids, didn't have them too young, so no grandkids yet. I seem to have a lot of friends having kids later in life so it's not so bad.

Pintobean39 · June 2014

Children mentioned

HELL YEAH!!!

OMG last summer when I was pregnant and told my oldest son who at the time had a serious girlfriend. I kept thinking oh my, please don't make me a grandmaw at the same time I'll be raising a new born. My son is no no longer in a serious relationship BUT he turns 21 soon and sometime I wonder what am I thinking. Am I going to be able to do all this again at my age now, because they are making me feel old as it is. There are ppl on TTGP board my sons age or close to it.

I always feel old but I'm hoping I'm not going to be the oldest in the PTA.

KirstenAlecia · June 2014

I only have 2 friends i went to HS with have grandkids…..but that will change more and more each year i have no doubt.

Lesliem0901 · June 2014

Sometimes I completely panic when I do the math. But then I think, Margaret, you can do this. You are wiser, established, supported and have a heart full of love. There is no guarantee in life on how long you'll live. Just love that miracle child with your entire soul for whatever time you have on earth. And don't let yourself prematurely age!
I see more and more people having kids later in life. I will be damn proud of it when my rainbow happens!

C_Girlie · June 2014

None of my friends are grandparents. But I do know some people my age that are grands. I don't use the (friend) word too loosely, because there's a lot of phonies out here

BeckyP005 · June 2014

Oh don't get me wrong...I will be over the moon happy to be pg but I was just being honest. Didn't want u girls to think I didn't want this!!

mindaa · June 2014

Yes, totally.

I do know plenty of people in my extended circle who had their first AMA... but spend all week at work with a team of women who were very young moms and now very young grandma's.

Everyone is as sweet and supportive as can be so I know they would never judge, but in my own mind I'm feeling like getting KU is just going to make me feel ridiculous around here.

CaraH · June 2014

Sometimes. This will be my second, and I've had a couple of days recently where I've thought "Do I really want to start over again? At 38?" My daughter is so much more independent now, and I'm trying to stay focused on her while time just whizzes by. And yet... Our family just doesn't feel done yet. Not to mention the fact that my husband is still 100% committed to another! and I would have to feel very strongly about it to make that decision for both of us. I definitely don't.

gabbagal · June 2014

I think I'm lucky to live in New England which seems to have a higher average age for first time moms. Almost all of my friends my age (41) and my brother (44) have kids 10 and under, and my mom even had me when she was 37. Apparently I come from a long line of late bloomers since my grandparents had my dad when they were 32/33 and my uncle when they were 37/38, which in the 30s/40s must've been truly ancient. The downside is that I haven't had a grandparent alive for almost 15 years (my mom's dad was born in 1899!) and worry that my parents won't be around for any future kid's life for long (they are 75 and 78 now). That makes me more sad than thinking about how I'll be at least 60 when they graduate from high school.

That being said, I'm still nervous about having a kid at my age, but agree with pretty much everything JimBobCooter said above.

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