Money as wedding gift - yay or nay?

Mrs.Greg · June 2014

We didn't get much cash for our wedding but what we did get was an awesome surprise! My friend is getting married in a few weeks and I'm thinking about just getting her a card with money. DH says yeah, it was cool that we got some cash but he doesn't think it's an "appropriate" gift. What do you all think?

eaglesfan700 · June 2014

Nobody gives actual gifts at weddings here, it is always cash or check. Showers are for gifts

Court0026 · June 2014

I almost always give money.

Xtine22 · June 2014

We only got cash or checks, no gifts. We always give money as gifts.

raraavis28 · June 2014

We got some "actual" gifts, but were happiest w/ the $$

ToastieSimons · June 2014

We only got one actual gift at our wedding. Everything else was cash/check

jjt616 · June 2014

I think cash is very appropriate and pretty much what is done at all weddings around here. I have done gifts but that was just for my cousin and get husband and my brother and SIL because I had great ideas.

Eta: weird quote issue

raraavis28 · June 2014

Now I'm really curious who voted for the toaster oven.....

Mrs.Greg · June 2014

Gotta be honest, I'm shocked by how common money is for gifts! I have never given money as a wedding gift and DH and I got 2 cards with money in place of gifts out of nearly 50 gifts. I think money is a great gift, who doesn't like money?!

MomIn2013 · June 2014

I've never given anything besides money in my life, and at our wedding we received 100% cash gifts.

zbeesma86 · June 2014

cash money

JeffandLeslie · June 2014

We got no money, with the exception of a couple of gift cards to the store where we were registered. Everything else was gifts. I have never given money, I've always gotten a gift for the couple. I also always send the gift separately rather than bringing it to the ceremony/reception.

I bet it is regional - I am from and was married in the Midwest, and most of our guests were from the Midwest or West Coast.

Eta we also got married young and didn't have a lot of household stuff, so maybe that played a role as well?

spring_time · June 2014

I am in the Midwest and mostly got money for the wedding. We only got gifts for the showers. A check is probably better. I don't think we received any cold, hard cash. Every once in awhile you hear stories of people stealing the card box.

id012 · June 2014

I didn't read the responses but iv never given anything but money for a wedding gift. And I didnt receive anything but cash for our wedding..

Eta even if its not the norm for you I bet they would love the extra surprise cash to take on there honeymoon, or buy frames for there weddi photos.. etc. I would go for the cash!

eaglesfan700 · June 2014

NandaB said:

This is so weird to me. People get NO actual gifts? We got everything on our (stupidly huge) registry plus some cash/checks. Many gifts were sent straight to us, but we got a bunch the day of too. I wonder what the regional break down of this is?

We got almost everything from our registries at the shower or before the wedding

ETA - we are in the NE

fancynewbeesly · June 2014

Showers here (in NJ) are for gifts. Weddings are usually cash or check---or at least 98% does that.

eaglesfan700 · June 2014

Ditto Lala, no one registers for money! It is never even discussed, everyone just does it. I wouldn't have been bothered or annoyed if we had gotten gifts at the wedding, just surprised

shortstuff15 · June 2014

NandaB said:
This is so weird to me. People get NO actual gifts? We got everything on our (stupidly huge) registry plus some cash/checks. Many gifts were sent straight to us, but we got a bunch the day of too.

I wonder what the regional break down of this is?

We also got our entire registry at the wedding. I hate hate hate giving cash. It is way to impersonal to me. And at every wedding I've ever been to all over Canada there is always a large gift table to place gifts on. It is always full and overflowing. We got about $1500 in cash/gift cards I think. The rest was gifts. I also had two showers (one at his family 8 hours away and one at our church) where I received registry items too.

Aussie45 · June 2014

We got a lot of presents, but I preferred cash. I would prefer to give cash. I don't ever look at my toaster and say, "Hey, soandso got me this toaster!"

Chapter79 · June 2014

I have NEVER seen an actual gift given for a wedding, and I've never ever given one. It's cash all the way. The gifts are for the bridal shower? That's when you get off the registry. Then you do cash for wedding. I just gave cash to my brother/SIL for theirs.

(northeast, btw).

notkateanymore · June 2014

We got some money, but mostly we got what we registered for, which I was perfectly fine with. I give gifts bc most people register here and that's what is done.

notkateanymore · June 2014

Oh and I always send the gifts ahead for the wedding and bring to the shower.

MomIn2013 · June 2014

dhviel said:

This is so weird to me. People get NO actual gifts? We got everything on our (stupidly huge) registry plus some cash/checks. Many gifts were sent straight to us, but we got a bunch the day of too. I wonder what the regional break down of this is?
We also got our entire registry at the wedding. I hate hate hate giving cash. It is way to impersonal to me. And at every wedding I've ever been to all over Canada there is always a large gift table to place gifts on. It is always full and overflowing. We got about $1500 in cash/gift cards I think. The rest was gifts. I also had two showers (one at his family 8 hours away and one at our church) where I received registry items too.

I've been to literally dozens of weddings (all in Ontario) and have never seen a gift table, only some kind of box where you leave your card with money in it.

We got 100% cash gifts at our wedding, but we didn't have a registry (I didn't have a shower, because we had both lived on our own for so long we pretty much had everything).

notkateanymore · June 2014

pssst...she was kidding.

raraavis28 · June 2014

Aussie45 said:
We got a lot of presents, but I preferred cash. I would prefer to give cash. I don't ever look at my toaster and say, "Hey, soandso got me this toaster!"

See for some things I actually do remember....but I don't consider money impersonal. If anything I considered it generous b/c ppl tend to give more than they would spend on a gift (I know that's the case w/ me anyway). Plus, more often than not, after a couple showers the registry is usually way picked over...

magentawarped · June 2014

I think now that the norm has shifted to people living together before marriage, most couples have the things they used to register for. I know we had every kitchen staple that we could fit in our apartment except for a decent mixer. We didn't have a ceremony, so we didn't get many gifts, but I would've preferred cash.

Aussie45 · June 2014

marchesa28 said:

We got a lot of presents, but I preferred cash. I would prefer to give cash. I don't ever look at my toaster and say, "Hey, soandso got me this toaster!"
See for some things I actually do remember....but I don't consider money impersonal. If anything I considered it generous b/c ppl tend to give more than they would spend on a gift (I know that's the case w/ me anyway). Plus, more often than not, after a couple showers the registry is usually way picked over...

I used the toaster as a generic example, but I actually remember who got me my toaster

It was my best friend. Other than that, I don't remember who got what.

olga1311 · June 2014

discobelle said:

CabbageCabbage said:

Also Midwest and I would guess I got 30% gifts and 70% money. Money is the best gift. Everyone is registered for money.

How do people register for money? I've never seen anything like that. Is there an actual money registry?

Honeymoon registry like a honeyfund. Very common around here

olga1311 · June 2014

Gastro said:
Everyone does gifts here. I've never seen anyone register for money. I don't have an issue with it but it's not done. In CA.

Huh I am in CA as well and I have never seen anyone purchase an actual gift. Everyone just brings a check or does honeymoon registry or something

babym6705 · June 2014

There is an option to register for money on myregistry.com. I agree it's tacky.

rockyrollgirl · June 2014

I always give cash.

ordinary1 · June 2014

We got about half cards with money/gift cards and physical gifts. This is pretty common in my family/circle (Wisconsin). What I give depends on my budget and how creative I'm feeling or what I know about the couple.

MesmrEwe · June 2014

SS - I think a lot depends on the situation... I HATE giving money as a gift - yes, we got some money for our wedding, and I enjoy the hutch we got using it - but 99% of the time I give a gift and not $$ The only time coming up I plan to do cash for a gift is a couple who is getting married that are approaching 50 and each have their own homes fully established and really could have done the "no gifts please" on their invitation... I know they're redoing the siding on the one house so hence why the cash gift though otherwise a donation to "Wreaths Across America" that the bride is heavily involved in here in this state...

laurakaz13 · June 2014

We received cash and checks from 90% of the guests at our wedding and give it at 100% of the weddings we attend.

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