BF guilt

[Deleted User] · June 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

DBonfante · June 2014

Hey mama! I don't want to sway you either way and you definitely need to do what is best for you but I was in the same situation. I cried for days over breast feeding and I was exhausted and miserable. I have switched to FF and feeding LO some pumped milk. It has made my life so much better. LO seems happier and I know he is getting enough to eat and is sleeping better. Whatever you decide know that you are awesome and making the best choice for your family. Good luck

fyafighterwife86 · June 2014

You will hear so many people give you unsolicited advise when it comes to BF'ing or FF'ing. You do what works for YOU and your baby. There is no wrong way to feed your baby.
I FF DS1 and I have chosen to BF DS2 but I'm almost at my breaking point.. I have wanted to give up SO many times (especially those MOTN feedings) but I've stuck to my guns. Financially, formula is just SO expensive for a family that's on 1 income so I try to tell myself to get past the first 6 weeks when they typically hit a bigger growth spurt. It DOES get better so if you decide to stick it out, it'll be worth it and you'll be glad you did

If not, don't feel guilty.. A happy baby and happy mommy is #1 priority.

LunaBug924 · June 2014

The only advice I keep seeing for this question is "don't quit on a hard day." That being said and if they're all hard days, then you have to make the decision that is right for you and LO.

((HUGS)) mama. Be gentle on yourself about this one. I'm a FTM so my experience is very limited, DD just turned 4 weeks and I'm EBF as well. It is HARD! There have been a few days where I've come so close to giving her formula just so I can have a break. I hear it gets easier around 8 weeks when they become much more efficient. But like I said, do what feels right.

Maybe check out the BFing board for more info and support. Also have you seen a lactation consultant? Good luck in whatever you decide.

Tkburke · June 2014

You have to do what is best for your family, don't let people judge you. I would encourage you to see a lactation consultant, they helped us so much in the early days of bf-ing. But I agree, it is hard!!! Don't get too down on yourself!

[Deleted User] · June 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

mcnava · June 2014

I have been doing both and I've found this has made me feel so much better. I was struggling with Breast Feeding and my pumping production has gone down. Being able to give formula if I need to has helped. I feel like I'm still giving my son the nutrients and health benefits from me, but I'm also getting the breaks I need.

gurleymomma · June 2014

I have been FF DD#2 since day one. I tried bf with DD#1 but was terrible,felt like such a failure for giving up.not even regreting it this time,best decision i made.a happy healthy baby is the goal,how you get there is whatever way is best for you two.

cnbean · June 2014

I was in a very similar situation with my first. I was miserable and hated every minute of BFing, but I felt guilty over wanting to FF. I finally realized that sometimes what's best for Mom is what's best for baby. I switched to formula and honestly never had one single moment of regret for that decision. I only wish I had done it sooner! With DS2 I decided that I would BF until I didn't want to anymore. He is now FF and we are all happy and healthy.

All that to say, there really isn't a right or wrong, do what you need to. No matter what your baby will be fed.

usernewname · June 2014

No judgement here. Only support

If you take care of yourself LO will benefit

Marcella05 · June 2014

I've moved past the "I hate breastfeeding" stage to the "It's fine, but terribly inconvenient" stage. Even without the real BF challenges, I am considering FF. Do not worry about what some people will say - the feeding war is so silly. And don't run yourself ragged.

pistolpackinmomma · June 2014

A happy momma is more important than how you choose to feed your baby. As long as that kid is being fed (and being fed age appropriately) I don't judge! I had to FF DS1 and struggled very much with it. It has made me push harder to EBF this time but I still have days I want to quit. Especially when I walk down the ice cream aisle.

lamdmk103 · June 2014

I soooooooo know what you are going through! The best advice I have gotten is to make sure your baby is healthy by feeding them with whichever method is manageable and sustainable

amberlowe08 · June 2014

This was me.. I only made it a week though. So many of my friends who Breastfeed made me feel like a quitter. I don't regret my choice though, and he seems happy, healthy, and his starting to get arm rolls. I was FF along with all the kids in my family. None of us have allergies and are healthy... Plus since then formula has gotten even better. I still think BF is a great and beautiful thing for people who choose to do it. I can't stand mothers though, who think they are superior and a better parent than mothers who choose to FF. When I took the baby to his last appt I thought the doc was going to look down on us for switching over to formula. Not at all.. And she told us that we would probably be surprised by the amount of babies that are FF vs BF. And hey.. Being able to have my glass of wine now whenever I want is such a nice perk.

pistolpackinmomma · June 2014

anniemore said:
This is the one thing that is still making me cry. I do not produce enough milk.. and LO is not a very good nurser. I was told to nurse, then pump and supplement on top of the pumped milk. This basically was a prescription to be nursing, pumping feeding 24 hours a day and I could not keep it up.

I switched to breastfeeding at night and first thing in the morning and pumping + supplementing during the day. When I went for another weight check at the pediatrician (LO was not gaining fast enough initially), I was told to breastfeed more and get off the bottle but meanwhile also supplement more.

I tried to breastfeed more but when I went to pump the next session afterwards.. there was nothing. Frustrated, I went back to breastfeeding at night, pumping and supplementing during the day.. but now because we have to feed him so much more, he's only getting about 2 bottles worth of pumped breast milk and the rest are formula. I can't even create any kind of reserve of milk and I pump and feed every 2 hours.

We have another weight check tomorrow and the LC at the pedi office (different from my LC) texts me about having an appt. I tell DH I would like to decline but he tells me he wants me to go because he still wants me to try to get on track with breastfeeding..

My heart pretty much dropped. I feel like I have no support for my body's capabilities, let alone my decisions about our child's wellbeing. Something that no one has addressed is that I have hypoplasia of the breasts.. meaning they were very small (AA) and tuberous with larger areola and space in between them. It's not uncommon, but it's not exactly normal and it does affect milk production. I explained this to DH and he wanted to address it with the LCs, but I feel that because they didn't even notice it that they know nothing of it.. esp since *some* women with the abnormality can breastfeed OK.

I had to tell him how heartbreaking all of this is, as well as physically and emotionally exhausted and that I just want a break from the outside opinions and to be trusted to make the right decisions. He seems somewhat onboard but it's so frustrating.. especially because I would like to gradually transition to exclusively formula feeding. I know formula is expensive but I would like my health and wellbeing to be a part of the equation here..

I have heard of some who need to supplement in the beginning using some system that would still put the baby at the breast and has some kind of tube that dispenses the formula. By keeping the baby at the breast it helps with telling the body it needs to make more milk. I'm not trying to sway you but just telling you of other possible solutions.

[Deleted User] · June 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

jenb_99 · June 2014

Hardest decision I ever made was to quit BF DS. I know he benefited from my decision to pump and FB and then eventually EFF, and I console myself with that, but 2.5 years later the guilt is still there. It went away for a while, but pregnancy and now BF the new baby has brought it back.

So...you probably will feel guilty for a while, and there's not much you can do about that, but you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that there really is no wrong way to feed a baby, regardless of what society and your hormones might be telling you.

Parenting guilt is often irrational, and sometimes we just have to learn to recognize that and live with it, crazy as it may seem.

frasey · June 2014

I stopped BFing DD at about 7 weeks, and it was the best decision we ever made. I hated BFing from day 1, and I felt so free when we switched to FF. DS was FF from day 1, also the right call for us.

Im so glad no one tried to make me feel guilty w DD, as I was highly stressed out in general at that time. my mom kinda said something a few weeks after DS was born that agitated me, but it didn't matter anyways.

Just do what you think is best for you and your kid!

Want a personalized experience?

BF guilt

Re: BF guilt

Choose Another Board

Search Boards