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Opinions: Moving

eg214eg214 member
in Single Parents
So I am looking for opinions here. 

It would be much easier on me help wise if I moved back to Florida where I am from. I hate it there, so much, but I'm thinking for E's sake to be around her extended family and for me to have help.

Problem is, that is where ManChild is also. I worry that if I move to FL, he will jump into her life and thus I will have to do the every other weekend and always in my face sort of thing. Had he been in her life now and made some sort of effort, I'd move home in a heartbeat if he was being a good father, etc. I'm not trying to keep her away, well I wasn't, but now he's such a dipshit, my biggest fear is him trying to jump in her life when she is older and confuse her. My family thinks he will stay away regardless of where I live, but I disagree. If things are made convenient for him, he will be all about it.

Once I get to FL, odds are I will never be able to leave bc ManChild will see to it that I can't.

I'd eventually be able to finish school, I can here too. The sucky thing back in FL, is I will have to wait a year to be able to attend school again and pay in state tuition. Out of state is triple. This also means waiting for student loan money, etc.

Jobs are scarce in Florida. It scares the living shit out of me to go back for that reason alone.

I am also considering going back to Charlotte, where I lived before and have friends. Closer for fam to visit, but still away from ManChild.

I'm thinking this through now bc my financial aid offer for 2014-2015 came through and I'd use that to move basically. I don't want to take out another loan without using it to move.

Thoughts?

PCOS // Loss 3/2010 // Single Mom // Natural Birth // DC Metro // Baby Girl Born 2/2/2014
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Re: Opinions: Moving

  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    If it were me, I'd move close enough for the support of family, but far away enough that he couldn't entrap you. So my vote would be Charlotte.
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  • jellybean529jellybean529 member
    I'd do Charlotte as well, if it means you'll have more help. 
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  • freeatlast2014freeatlast2014 member
    If you can manage, why not stay put until school is done? If you move to Charlotte, you are still really far. Will you honestly get more help there? I know you said friends, but are they the roll up your sleeves kind of friends?
    I am in a similar boat. I want nothing more than to stay out of the town I grew up in but I have no choice because I need my family's help. It sucks but I can't do it where I am now. I have to realize my limitations.
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  • jellybean529jellybean529 member
    MrsLynnyD said:
    If you can manage, why not stay put until school is done? If you move to Charlotte, you are still really far. Will you honestly get more help there? I know you said friends, but are they the roll up your sleeves kind of friends? I am in a similar boat. I want nothing more than to stay out of the town I grew up in but I have no choice because I need my family's help. It sucks but I can't do it where I am now. I have to realize my limitations.
    This is a good point, too. I moved back to FL in January after being gone for two years, thinking there'd be more support, since all my friends and family are here. There is some support, but not as much as I was hoping for.
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  • tig594tig594 member
    Works for me, Becca.  I've always wondered why struggling single moms didn't do just that.  

    I would also not move to the state your BD is in. No way, no how.  Although with yours, he didn't bother to see her when you were there recently.  Why do you think he'd bother if he knew you moved there?  
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  • freeatlast2014freeatlast2014 member
    tig594 said:

    Works for me, Becca.  I've always wondered why struggling single moms didn't do just that.  


    I would also not move to the state your BD is in. No way, no how.  Although with yours, he didn't bother to see her when you were there recently.  Why do you think he'd bother if he knew you moved there?  
    I was thinking the same thing - he didn't see her when you were there so that means something in my book.

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  • eg214eg214 member
    Well then why the fuck is he still fighting me then? Why is he spending $$$$$$ on a lawyer to continue to fight for visitation and custody when he has never seen her and didn't see her when we were in FL? Why? To make my life as difficult as possible. That's why. He may not give two shits about her but the second I move back, he will do everything he can to be in her life. I guarantee it. If he remarried or had more kids or whatever...he wouldn't.

    I would like to wait a year really to consider FL. If we get this shit set and he never comes on his day(s) to see her...I have a much better case against him in court a year later. I'm thinking Charlotte again as my stop over. It was last time too when I left him and was getting divorced. Its just muccchhhh cheaper there also...so friend yes but the money savings esp while I have loan funds based on dc living expenses....it will go a lot farther. A LOT.

    PCOS // Loss 3/2010 // Single Mom // Natural Birth // DC Metro // Baby Girl Born 2/2/2014
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