Need advice from non-CIO moms.....

mikeANDjen448 · June 2014

This may be a PNR and if so I apologize but I desperately need advice from those of you who are not doing CIO..... I have been trying it with DD and it's AWFUL! I just end up crying myself and she never calms. She is such a happy baby but this is just insane. After last night I decided it's just not for me. Maybe it's the extra hormones running through my body right now but I just can't handle it. What do you all do differently? What has worked or not worked? How is your LO sleeping now? DD is STTN, it's just getting her down that's the issue. TIA for any experiences you can share!

BootsOrHearts · June 2014

We are definitely not CIO and never will be. We still feed him to sleep most nights, which I realize is a habit we'll have to break at some point. But more and more, he finishes his bottle and is still not asleep so then it's a combo of singing to calm him if he's fussy, use of binky, and just sitting with him, shushing and stroking his head to calm him down. We also find that if we close our eyes and pretend to sleep, he sometimes gets the message that it's sleep time.

mikeANDjen448 · June 2014

@mamato3boys‌ Thanks so much! I will definitely check out the book and read through the thread!
@theresat858‌ Having DH put her down is a great idea! I'm sure E will cry too (she's going through separation anxiety) but you are absolutely right about having a newborn and a toddler vying for my attention... I will try the reading a book thing while she's in her crib as we'll and see if that works. Right now she hates even walking into her room with the white noise on

and I do think her issue may be adjusting bedtime.
@BootsOrHearts‌ We do the "eyes closed" thing too! It generally works once she's calm enough to sit in my lap. It's like she knows that sitting in the chair means bedtime and so she squirms and fusses to get back to the floor and play. Thanks ladies for all of your responses. It is so helpful to hear other stories, especially from people I know and recognize from all my time on TTCAL, PGAL, and PAL. You ladies made my day!

mikeANDjen448 · June 2014

@Encchanted‌ Thanks!! We are excited! I was on Femara but this time only took two cycles vs the last time of TTC for 2.5 years :-S Does your son ever fuss because he can see you but you aren't picking him up? I'm afraid that if I'm in the room she will cry to be held but if I'm out of the room she will cry for me to be in there......

BootsOrHearts · June 2014

Derp, I just saw your new ticker! Congrats!!!!

mikeANDjen448 · June 2014

Encchanted said:

mikeANDjen448 said:

@Encchanted‌ Thanks!! We are excited! I was on Femara but this time only took two cycles vs the last time of TTC for 2.5 years :-S Does your son ever fuss because he can see you but you aren't picking him up? I'm afraid that if I'm in the room she will cry to be held but if I'm out of the room she will cry for me to be in there......

He really hasn't fussed too much about it,but I think he's also ready for the change. He kept trying to roll over onto his belly whenever we were rocking him to sleep.

Maybe the first few nights you do it, have the chair right next to the crib and just have your hand on her so that she knows you're there and can feel you, but you don't hold her. Then transition to just being right there where she can see you.

That's a great idea! Maybe rearranging her nursery that was will help :-*

mikeANDjen448 · June 2014

BootsOrHearts said:

Derp, I just saw your new ticker! Congrats!!!!

Thx!!!

mikeANDjen448 · June 2014

@theresat858‌ we do bath time, play, book, milk. But she hates the sippy and will drink out of a cup instead. Her ped wants her off her bottle. Usually it's about half hour. But sometimes she just won't settle enough to even read a book.

meli1025 · June 2014

I don't like CIO either, but followed some recommendations from the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. They recommend a graduated "extinction" as one option, where you let cry for five minutes, soothe, then ten minutes, soothe, then 15, and so on and eventually the baby falls asleep. Each time you go in you don't speak, just pat or rub and then walk out again. It worked for me with DS1 but I feel like I will have a harder time with this new little guy. I would recommend checking out the book though. My DS1 has always been a great sleeper and always went down drowsy but awake and soothed himself to sleep. I gave all the credit to that book. Good luck!

mikeANDjen448 · June 2014

Thanks @meli1025‌ !!

Mmm79 · June 2014

CIO didn't work for us. A was a good sleeper up until about 12 months old, then he had a major regression. Putting him down became a huge challenge and he started waking up hourly. We tried rocking him, but he'd often wake up again as soon as hid body hit the crib. Exhausted, we started bringing him into our bed which was hit or miss- and typically I didn't sleep well at all. We were really at the end of our rope but then about a month ago- out of sheer exhaustion one night, I put him back in his crib, and he started to fuss so I laid down on the ground next to his crib and said "Shhh. Time for Sleepies- mama is here" and to my complete surprise he laid down, grabbed his blankie and went to sleep. SO that has been what we are doing. After we go through bedtime routine, I put him in his crib then lay down on the floor saying a few soothing things. This works most of the time, but if not, I pick him up and rock him a bit, but always put him back still awake. Then once he is asleep I sneak out of the room. He now wakes up 1-2 times per night, but is typically asleep in about five minutes once I lay down next to the crib. In the middle of the night, I sometimes bring in an air mattress so I can fall back to sleep immediately. Sometimes I stay awake and sneak out once he is settled. Sometime I pass out and wake up at 6am when he does. It's not ideal, but we are all sleeping. And he's not screaming.

mikeANDjen448 · June 2014

@Mmm79‌ We end up bringing E into our bed as well if she wakes around 5:30/6. Just praying for another hour myself! Last night she cried when walking even toward her room so I definitely need to change her perception of sleep and THAT didn't start happening until I began trying to CIO X(

Mmm79 · June 2014

mikeANDjen448 said:

@Mmm79‌ We end up bringing E into our bed as well if she wakes around 5:30/6. Just praying for another hour myself! Last night she cried when walking even toward her room so I definitely need to change her perception of sleep and THAT didn't start happening until I began trying to CIO X(

Ugh. That is so frustrating! CIO didn't work for us because A would vomit. Yes, we tried it a few times and then he started vomiting within 3-5 minutes of being put down. It was awful. That's why this laying down on his floor thing has been much better- even if I do end up spending a portion of my night sleeping in there.

One A is up at 5:30/6 he is up. I think he gets that from me. Last week he tried it at 4:45, though and I was like "No way" and put him back down.

mikeANDjen448 · June 2014

Mmm79 said:

mikeANDjen448 said:

@Mmm79‌ We end up bringing E into our bed as well if she wakes around 5:30/6. Just praying for another hour myself! Last night she cried when walking even toward her room so I definitely need to change her perception of sleep and THAT didn't start happening until I began trying to CIO X(

Ugh. That is so frustrating! CIO didn't work for us because A would vomit. Yes, we tried it a few times and then he started vomiting within 3-5 minutes of being put down. It was awful. That's why this laying down on his floor thing has been much better- even if I do end up spending a portion of my night sleeping in there.
One A is up at 5:30/6 he is up. I think he gets that from me. Last week he tried it at 4:45, though and I was like "No way" and put him back down.

LOL I LOVE IT!!! :x

mikeANDjen448 · June 2014

@Encchanted‌ So I totally just realized your name change!!

I missed you from our BMB after having E so early. And I've been pretty MIA up until recently.... Boo! I hope everything went well for you and the rest of your pregnancy

are you still on J13?

mikeANDjen448 · June 2014

@Encchanted‌ yeah- when E was born almost six weeks early I played with the June board a little. But ended up getting too busy to keep up unfortunately

pinksandbermuda · June 2014

Well I can't offer any help, unfortunately. We don't CIO, I lay down with DD to get her to sleep. Not a great solution! We've tried CIO and some other methods but just keep going back to cuddling with her.
Sorry I'm no help, good luck.

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