~~Tuesday Crazy Train~~

buggirl72 · June 2014

Welcome to Crazy Train!

This is a thread posted daily for any of us who need to get out our frustrations about waiting to O, the 2WW, or vent about our cycles.

If you find yourself checking FF obsessively, MF is getting the best of you, or you just want to pee on all things, let it out here! In order for the conductors to be better able to help you, please make sure you either have a FF chart link in your sig, or make sure you post a link.

Don't chart? You should consider it, not only will it give you a lot more insight to your cycles, but conductors will be able to answer a lot of your questions just by looking at your chart!

The CT is not the place to post a BFP. If you have a "squinter" or if you have a line that appeared after the time frame, please do not post about it here.
Take a step back from the board, test again with FMU, and good luck!
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Crazy level from 1-10: CD/DPO:

Can I just ______ already?!:

Signs/Symptoms:

Explain your Crazy here:

PinkCamino · June 2014

morning! (:|

I'm 8dpo - 8-X

and trying to hold off until 12dpo. :^o

the urge though. the effing urge is too much to handle. :-SS

buggirl72 · June 2014

PinkCamino said:

morning! (:|

I'm 8dpo - 8-X

and trying to hold off until 12dpo. :^o

the urge though. the effing urge is too much to handle. :-SS

I actually woke up and thought "Pink is got to be like this this morning"

and I better get the train out of the station.

You know 8 dpo is too early. What if you give yourself a reward each day that you don't test? I'm no sure what, but maybe a special treat you normally don't allow yourself?

PinkCamino · June 2014

buggirl72 said:

PinkCamino said:

morning! (:|

I'm 8dpo - 8-X

and trying to hold off until 12dpo. :^o

the urge though. the effing urge is too much to handle. :-SS

I actually woke up and thought "Pink is got to be like this this morning"

and I better get the train out of the station.

You know 8 dpo is too early. What if you give yourself a reward each day that you don't test? I'm no sure what, but maybe a special treat you normally don't allow yourself?

I can hold out. Want to know my secret? I force myself to pee first thing when I get up and NOT save the urine. I know testing with SMU isn't ideal so I usually don't bother myself after that.

Tablefor5 · June 2014

((Hugs)) to you ladies!

@PinkCamino‌ I'm 10dpo today and I feel you. Heck apparently mh is a bit jumpy also. Last night I grabbed a box from my bag on the couch when I went up for my shower, almost an hour later I came downstairs and he asked me "so how did it go?" I gave an um the shower was good and I finally shaved my legs. He sunk a little and said "oh I saw you sneak off with that box to test"
Me: oh that! That was a monistat box. It went well, popped right in.

Poor guy that was not what he wanted to hear...lol

I'm keeping my crazy down. I couldn't not temp when we went out of town. The lost three days would have made me crazy. Temps are still high but making me hold my breath because they are dropping...all is hopefully good and stays above the cover line FX

Here is my chart link for anyone who wants to chart stalk
https://fertilityfriend.com/home/4405a3

Km380 · June 2014

Fx for you @pinkcamino! Hold out! I stupidly did not and started yesterday.
Crazy level 10
Can I just - have some control? Over myself and poas
Symptoms - sore/huge boobs, exhausted, odd feeling in uterus area that I've only ever felt while pg or just after mc
Explain your crazy- I'm not supposed to test until Thursday which is the anniversary of my first bfp. So instead of waiting I went the other way and tested early. 2 bfns. Now I'm playing the rationalizing "there's still hope" game. My symptoms are from the progesterone pills. There's likely no hope. Every time I have to tell mh it's negative I feel like I'm letting him down. I think I might need a break from trying, I don't know how much more of this hormonal roller coaster I can take. Which makes me feel bad and weak bc I know this amount of time trying since we started again is in the normal range. And I know some ladies have been on this road so much longer. I'm just tired.

Eta clarification of control

footprint · June 2014

Fx for @PinkCamino‌, @Km380‌, and @Tablefor5‌. @Km380‌ it seems like we are in a very similar place and it sucks.

****other people BFP mentioned****

Crazy level: 9
CD 27 DPO 12
Can I just stop assuming I am pregnant every month? Better, can I stop being so devastated when I am not pregnant each month?

My crazy: I have been slightly sick to my stomach after I eat and exhausted for theee days or so. Used a FRER today FMU - BFN. Yesterday my closest friend told me about her BFP (first month TTC, both of us AMA) and I was all like, I think I am too! And now i think I am not and I feel like a fool. And I think I am PMSing and super whack emotional. And this happens every month where I seriously believe I am and then I am not and it sucks and I get super pist at myself. And then...I entertain this glimmer of hope (it's only DPO12, maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day, blah, blah, blah) and I get super depressed when I get my period.

My chart: https://fertilityfriend.com/home/4ee3a7

buggirl72 · June 2014

Tablefor5 said:

((Hugs)) to you ladies! @PinkCamino‌ I'm 10dpo today and I feel you. Heck apparently mh is a bit jumpy also. Last night I grabbed a box from my bag on the couch when I went up for my shower, almost an hour later I came downstairs and he asked me "so how did it go?" I gave an um the shower was good and I finally shaved my legs. He sunk a little and said "oh I saw you sneak off with that box to test" Me: oh that! That was a monistat box. It went well, popped right in. Poor guy that was not what he wanted to hear...lol I'm keeping my crazy down. I couldn't not temp when we went out of town. The lost three days would have made me crazy. Temps are still high but making me hold my breath because they are dropping...all is hopefully good and stays above the cover line FX Here is my chart link for anyone who wants to chart stalk https://fertilityfriend.com/home/4405a3

Poor guy! I'm glad he is excited and you are keeping your crazy down. Your chart still looks good and I like your CHs. When do you plan to test?

buggirl72 · June 2014

Km380 said:

*snip* Hold out! I stupidly did not and started yesterday. Crazy level 10 Can I just - have some control? Over myself and poas Symptoms - sore/huge boobs, exhausted, odd feeling in uterus area that I've only ever felt while pg or just after mc Explain your crazy- I'm not supposed to test until Thursday which is the anniversary of my first bfp. So instead of waiting I went the other way and tested early. 2 bfns. Now I'm playing the rationalizing "there's still hope" game. My symptoms are from the progesterone pills. There's likely no hope. Every time I have to tell mh it's negative I feel like I'm letting him down. I think I might need a break from trying, I don't know how much more of this hormonal roller coaster I can take. Which makes me feel bad and weak bc I know this amount of time trying since we started again is in the normal range. And I know some ladies have been on this road so much longer. I'm just tired. Eta clarification of control

(((Hugs)))) and I'm sorry for the BFNs. My FF test date also lines up with the anniversary of my BFP. It sucks timing wise and there is no other way around that.

buggirl72 · June 2014

footprint said:

*snip* ****other people BFP mentioned**** Crazy level: 9 CD 27 DPO 12 Can I just stop assuming I am pregnant every month? Better, can I stop being so devastated when I am not pregnant each month? My crazy: I have been slightly sick to my stomach after I eat and exhausted for theee days or so. Used a FRER today FMU - BFN. Yesterday my closest friend told me about her BFP (first month TTC, both of us AMA) and I was all like, I think I am too! And now i think I am not and I feel like a fool. And I think I am PMSing and super whack emotional. And this happens every month where I seriously believe I am and then I am not and it sucks and I get super pist at myself. And then...I entertain this glimmer of hope (it's only DPO12, maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day, blah, blah, blah) and I get super depressed when I get my period. My chart: https://fertilityfriend.com/home/4ee3a7

I'm sorry for the BFN. 12dpo is still early and you do have one heck of a climb on your chart - I can only see this month's chart, is that normal for you?

Try not to get mad at yourself for hoping that your are pg and then finding out you are not. It's okay to hope but it is also okay to remind yourself that even with the best timing, you still only have a 20% chance or so of getting pregnant any given cycle.

Km380 · June 2014

@footprint‌ yes sounds like we're in the same place. Fx for you!!!

@buggirl72‌ (((hugs))) your dates are lining up that way too. This all just sucks. Fx!

rslh10 · June 2014

Don't POAS ladies! You can do it!

Much easier said than done....I'm an early tester as well. I didn't get a BFP until 13dpo on this loss, and 18dpo with my ds. Keep up the self control, and fx for you all:)

My crazy level isn't TOO high--yet. I made a Dr's appt for today to get my HCG checked again. It was 32 a week after my m/c, and I want to track it to under 5. Well, last night I had a dream that my husband was telling people I was eating waffles and that I used so much syrup that it made my HCG go UP to 75. :-O I'm hoping for good news in the next few days so I can stop having crazy ass dreams and not fear when eating syrup! (Just kidding, I don't eat syrup anyway lol)

footprint · June 2014

@buggirl72 thank you for both driving this train and looking at my chart and responding. This is my first month temping. And it's like rationally I know 12dpo is early, but emotionally, I've already counted myself out. And for everything else in life, I am a huge proponent of hope. This is probably TMI but three years ago I electively had the surgeons take my leg in the hope that my life would be better than what it was - and it totally was/is better. Hope sustains me. But what I am struggling with is at what point does hope become detrimental? Ach. I'm sorry, I am digressing and ranting like a lunatic. Sorry.

rslh10 · June 2014

@footprint many many ((hugs)) You're so strong! Don't count yourself out yet. Some of us are late BFP'ers. FX crossed for you, and more hugs coming your way!! Also, P.S. you're not ranting like a lunatic, you're a human! It's natural to feel all these crazy emotions and need to vent...You are on the crazy train, the perfect place to do so!!!

Km380 · June 2014

Gl @qanda2013‌ ! I poke my boobs too lol. I was thinking of trying to chart and I asked my RE about it and he actually recommended I didn't bc I'd drive myself nuts (and clearly I'm doing a great job of that on my own!) and I want to believe my Yale educated dr and put all my faith in him...but I'm still going back and forth on it

footprint · June 2014

@rslh10‌ thank you. I haven't been trying long and I know that but I haven't figured out a way to not get so emotionally invested each cycle. Fx crossed for decreasing Hcg!

Edited to add that now I want waffles.

Tablefor5 · June 2014

@buggirl72‌ ff says June 12th. I don't think I can hold out that long. AF is due Friday so if nothing then I'll test Saturday or Sunday. I think that's reasonable....I'm keeping busy until then lol

MrsG80inTN · June 2014

Thanks for running the train @buggirl72! It looks like many of us are on the same schedules at this point...

I'm at about a 8.9 on the crazy scale...

CD/DPO: 28/8

I don't really have any symptoms, but my temps appear pretty decent. Of course my EDD is tomorrow and the urge to test will be high, but I'm trying to hold out till at least 10DPO eventhough both prior PGs didn't give me BFPs till 13DPO... Oh, the waiting.

bmblebea · June 2014

Newbie to the charting thread here- Crazy level from 1-10: Fairly low on the crazy scale, maybe a 3...
CD/DPO: No idea, just started charting again so I'm 12 days post miscarriage (not sure if I can count that as a period??) I'm waiting to see if there will be any signs of O any time soon!

Can I just ______ already?!: Can I just O so I can get through this cycle so I won't be in a no TTC holding pattern.

Signs/Symptoms: Nothing really, trying to watch CF but not really seeing too much and I never can bring myself to check my cervix lol

Explain your Crazy here: Feels good to get back to charting so I can at least see what my temps are doing. Just wanting O and AF so we can start to try again.

Tablefor5 · June 2014

@qanda2013‌ I would like to place my T-shirt order

kvlady82 · June 2014

Lots of love to you all!

Crazy level from 1-10: 8

CD 24 & 11 DPO

Can I just stop feeling so negative already?! I feel like everyone tells you to "stay calm, be positive", etc. etc., but when you get BFNs, is it just me, or do you assume that you are going to continue to get BFNs?

Signs/Symptoms: Extremely tired…like, asleep by 8pm tired (but Progesterone does that, too). Sore BBs, but I have "cystic breast disease", soooo yeah.

Explain your Crazy here: I am always as cool as a cucumber the first week of the 2WW. However, when I get to the last few days, I am just a psycho. I am either withdrawn or moody as shit. It's hard being withdrawn when you are a teacher, so I am trying my best!

Edit: forgot to rate my crazy!

purplehaze11 · June 2014

Crazy level : 5 CD18 This is our first cycle TTC post loss! and I've had egg white CM for two days, but barely the hint of a line on an opk. I'm just praying that I ovulate soon and my cycle is regulating, the egg white is consistent with my previous charts, just hoping I actually ovulate!

sarahbkln · June 2014

Hello all-- I've been lurking for a while. Fingers crossed for all of you, and thoughts going out to everyone who is trying to wait for lowered HCG, ovulation, AF, the right time to POAS, BFPs. You're all amazing.

I wanted to be careful about saying hello for the first time, because I am currently in the 2WW, and I know new members need to be sensitive about the timing of intros. To that end, I am posting in Crazy Train, which is my understanding of the correct thing to do. Please let me know if I'm mistaken, and thank you.

I was due Sept. 21, and in late Feb when we went in for our 10.5 week appointment, there was no heartbeat. We had heard the heartbeat at 6.5 weeks, and it was the most amazing thing I've ever heard. But the baby had stopped developing and died. I found it very upsetting that I didn't even know it had happened until the sono. I had the D&C, and here I am.

This is the first cycle that I've ovulated since then.

I am 7 dpo

My crazy level is...9? I've already taken two pregnancy tests, which is completely insane, I know. (Obviously, they were BFN.)

Signs: Some cramping, which I'm very excited about, but nothing else. My boobs have been weirdly deflated since the MMC, and that hasn't changed. (Anyone else have smaller boobs after a miscarriage than they were before?)

Anyway, I hope it's ok that I posted my little intro here, I just wanted to be sensitive about the 2WW. I feel pretty crazy at the moment, and hoping to connect with you all here.

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