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April 2014 Moms
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NBR: Wedding question....

mooncusp22mooncusp22 member
in April 2014 Moms
An old friend of mine is getting married in Seattle, I currently live in MO. I know she sent save the dates out during the winter time because I saw one on my other friends fridge, that friend said she knew she was having a small wedding. I invited that friend (& her BF at the time who is the guy she is marrying) to my wedding back in 2010. We were close back then, but the past 3 years we really haven't talked because we both moved away and are in different states (just kinda keep in touch via facebook). So, I figured I wasn't invited to the wedding- no problem, I understand.

Yesterday I get a facebook invite from her for her bridal shower, which is being hosted by her sister. It is this weekend in Maryland (her hometown). It said that "we believe alot of invites got lost in the mail so sorry for the last minute invite". Obviously I can't go to 1,000 miles to a bridal shower that is this weekend. But, then this confused me if I was going to be invited to the wedding because I have no heard anything about it. I reached out to the friend that was invited and asked her if she knew if I was invited, she said she would try to find out. That friend texted me today saying she still isn't sure if I am invited yet, but she found out that the bride invited people to her bridal shower but is not inviting them to her wedding. I am wondering if I am one of those people...? 

My question is, do I send a shower gift if I am not invited to the wedding? I think that is tacky that someone would invite you to their shower but not think you are important enough to them to invite them to their wedding.... So, this friend did come to my shower (which was in the same town she lived in) and gave me a gift. She & her BF also came to our wedding, which was out of state- and never got us a wedding gift. 
Lilypie - Eu0n
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Lilypie - pXE7
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AYLA BLAIR   3♥27♥14

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Re: NBR: Wedding question....

  • lindz324lindz324 member
    Definitely tacky! I personally don't think i would send a gift, esp since you only got a Facebook invite to begin with. Sounds as tho the " invite got lost in the mail " may be made up. I dunno.
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  • mooncusp22mooncusp22 member
    I thought it sounded made up too...this friend knows I recently moved & I was never contacted for my new address
    Lilypie - Eu0n
    BFP: 12/3/15     EDD: 8/11/16     IT'S A BOY!!!
    MAXIMUS POWERS   8♥5♥16
     
    Lilypie - pXE7
    BFP: 8/5/13      EDD: 4/13/14     IT'S A GIRL!!!      
    AYLA BLAIR   3♥27♥14

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  • Teresa1896Teresa1896 member
    Regardless of whether or not she went to your shower, I think it's tacky to invite people to your shower if they're not invited to your wedding. Seems pretty gift grabby. Unless you're having a destination wedding that most of your friends wouldn't be going to, or something.
    If she's a really good friend, send a gift. But it sounds like she's not, so I'd save my money.
    You could always ask if her if you're invited to the wedding or not. I don't think that's a rude or unreasonable question given the circumstances.

    BFP: 7/5/10   EDD: 3/13/11  Miscarriage 8/1/10 at 8 weeks

    BFP: 10/30/10   EDD: 7/7/11   Born 7/11//11 7lb12oz, 20 in.

    BFP: 7/30/13  EDD: 4/9/14 Born right on time on his due date! 8lb10oz, 21.5 in.


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  • *sparky**sparky* member
    Well this sounds like a hot mess. IMO if you receive a FB invite to a shower 1,000 away only a week in advance then that feels like an afterthought or last-minute gift grab and I would just decline the invitation, and would not send a gift. I would also say it seems you are not invited to the wedding and I would not go fishing and further to try to figure it out.

     

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  • Dixon813Dixon813 member
    No gift! If you really care, decline and make a comment about no wedding invite. If it were me I just wouldn't respond at all.
    ~ Leah, Rachel and Gabriel were born on May 27, 2013 (23 weeks) ~ Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • MamaFantasticMamaFantastic member
    No. Gift.

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  • christinanoellechristinanoelle member
    Definitely no gift!!
    Who invites someone to the shower but not the wedding??? I think that is so rude!
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  • AshleypixieAshleypixie member
    She sounds like a jerk. No gift! You should send her a Facebook message to say congratulations for her wedding and you couldn't make it to her shower because she's a total turd.
     






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