Do you find it a lot harder with three than it was with two? I've been struggling with whether to have one more for awhile. My head says I might go insane, but my heart says we won't be complete without another one. It could be because all of my friends are having babies this year and I'm surrounded, but I've always thought we would end up with three. However, our boys are a handful. They are great, but super high energy and are probably going to be involved in a lot of sports and activities. I work from home 4 days a week so things are better than when I had my first two and was commuting, but we are still very busy and DH works long hours, so a lot of the work would be put on my shoulders. I guess I'm just looking for your thoughts on how it is with three and two parents working. DS is going to school next year and my other son will be in preschool this fall, maybe I am just sad they are growing up so fast.
I also have a habit of taking on more than I can handle in all things, work, play, scheduling etc. I always get it done, I just tend to go big and figure it all out later, even if I am totally stressed out
So, I'm kind of worried in some way I will do that with kids too and maybe not realize what I'm getting myself into!
Re: Working moms of 3+
But recently I've been having the same thoughts as you - can we really do this? Two stressful jobs? A 2nd grader with tons of homework and a high energy 3yr old already have me beat most days! And, like you, I bite off more than I can chew (I am a Girl Scout troop leader for one example).
So, I don't know. My heart tells me that there is another one to come to complete our family. My head tells me maybe not. I am 37 and getting less and less confident that this is going to happen.
Sorry, that didn't help you at all, did it?!
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ETA: if we couldn't make it work financially for me to SAH, we would still have a third baby, it would be hard, but we would make it work somehow. The first year is always hard.
I have four, ages 7, 5, just about to turn 3 and 1.5. So yea, I'm pretty much tired all.the.time. I always knew I wanted at least three children, with an upper limit of six, so I actually feel quite fortunate to have had four given that I got married a little later in life and have had a few issues with fertility and maintaining pregnancies.
So, here's the thing. For us, adding a third was fairly seamless. I'm not going to lie, being pregnant at age 39, while working full-time and having two kids at home wasn't easy, but it was doable. Having a newborn is always hard given the lack of sleep but at least that is temporary. I have always found having a baby easier than say having a toddler. Babies sleep a lot and are pretty portable. What I've found as my kids get older and the oldest two are in all-day school, is that our future will be harder than our past. Everything makes it out to be that having young kids is the hardest time as a parent but I think my opinion will differ. I look ahead and see having four kids in school, helping four kids with homework, keeping track of all their school stuff along with outside school activities. That's four kid schedules and two adult schedules I need to not just keep track of but make sure they coordinate. Even if we decide to limit outside school activities there will still most likely be times when all four of them need to be somewhere different but all at the same time. And sure, daycare ends, as do diapers, but I've found that other things just replace them. For us, private school tuition but also things like they start eating more, way more. I see what my 7-year-old boy eats and shudder to think what that quanitity will be once he's 14.
I'm not saying I regret having four, they are all wonderful children and fill my days with laughter and craziness, but I'm not going to lie and say it's all a breeze. There is no way I could do it on my own or without a husband who probably does more for them than I do on a daily basis. We both work full-time but he has a much more flexible schedule than I do. That has really made things doable for us.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
It is however expensive. In our case we have a nanny for the baby, daycare for DS2 and extended day at school for DS1. It adds up - but not forever.
I'm in completely the same spot - it's nice to hear that you all went back and forth before deciding, too! I'm 37 now and getting ready to SAH for a bit due to DHs work, so I feel like the decision will need to be made before too long. Not my post, but thank you all for your insight!
We transitioned to a nanny part-time a couple of months ago (with the boys still going to an in-home daycare the other days) and she's been amazing - we'll be going full-time with her after my maternity leave with this one. I feel like a nanny is the way to go once you have three!
One to two was hard for me. Because one was just so EASY! I'm hoping I'm so used to the craziness by now that three will just add to it, but not be a total shock.