Creative Consequences for slob 8 yo...?

taylorjeanne84 · June 2014

Hi everyone! I'm mainly a lurker on this board, and hang out mostly on July14, but I'm having a stepmom "moment." I am 35 weeks pregnant so probably a little more impatient then usual, but I am having an issue with my 8 year old SS that is driving me up the wall!

I have been with DH since SS8 was 4 (we got married when he was 5.) The ONLY thing we ask of him while he is at our house (EOW) is that he puts his dirty clothes in the hamper and hangs his wet towel up after his shower. I know that this is not asking too much, as my almost 3-year old knows where his dirty clothes go. He has the option to do extra chores like dust, clean, take out trash, etc if he would like to be paid, but he never does them. I love him, but he is a complete and total slob and basically has an IDGAF attitude.

Anyway, I am not exaggerating when I say that every. single. night. I find his clothes thrown all over his floor as well as his wet towel on the carpet in his room. This has been going on for 4 years and I feel like I'm going to lose it! We have tried taking minutes off his bedtime for each article left out, we've talked, we've reminded. I know it probably seems petty but I am a SAHM mom and do all the cooking, cleaning, etc. and I feel like this is little to ask of an 8 year old.

Sorry this has turned into a rant, but wanted to see if any of you have any creative ideas to make this kid pick up after himself. I feel like a broken record! Thanks in advance...

Signed,
Mama sick of bending over to pick up clothes during 3rd trimester...

Belou52579 · June 2014

Congrats on the coming baby! Sounds like you will have your hands full with the three of them in a few weeks- : )

I can tell you what my mom would threaten me with: bagging every pair of dirty underpants up in a clear bag, drive down to the school and "remind me" in front of my whole class to put my clothes in the hamper. BUT, she never actually followed through with it no matter how messy it got and also, I don think you'd be allowed passed the front desk now a days with school security in force.

My only real advice is to send him to bed early if the clothes aren't picked up that day. (Which i see you already are) At aroun 8 years old , kids really care about those last 15/20/30 minutes of play time before they have to turn out the lights. Maybe a couple nights of shaving off play time even more drastically will help? Try not limiting it to a certain amount of time per piece of clothing but a set amount of I me regardless of what's left out.

If that doesn't work-no electronics for the week? That's the quick cure all in my house.

Mkherren12 · June 2014

If he can't out his dirty clothes up then he must not want to wear them again. Put them away in your room until he runs out of clothes. Make him wear the same thing over and over again until he gets the idea.

As far as the towel thing goes if he can't hang it up then he must not want to use it again. Take it away as well as all the other towels. He won't be too happy to dry off with nothing!

Don't make consequences harder on you. Make then logical. If he won't put his dishes in the sink then he doesn't need to use dishes. Etc.

Hope this helps. Congrat on your coming lo

taylorjeanne84 · June 2014

Thank you both! I think taking away electronics is a great idea. He loves the iPad and computer.

Edit: also will be trying the no towel thing tonight. Great idea.

3JTMom · June 2014

These are some really creative ideas from the pp. Here is a website that might be of help: https://bit.ly/1n1WvDP. Remember to be consistent in what ever you decide and to get your DH to support you. 100%

Abenedict2011 · June 2014

I've had this issue with both my SS (13) and SD(9) and truthfully sometimes my husband! I do not wash clothes unless they are in the dlaundry baskets. I also don't turn anything right side out. Once they run out of clothes it does sometimes help. Hang in there.

lisap0924 · August 2014

I tell my 8yoSS if his clothes don't make it to the hamper, I don't wash them.

I also tell him don't come crying to me when you run out of clean underwear. he needs a reminder at times but he picks them up

momof2buggs · August 2014

Why are you picking up the clothes? It sounds like you're inconsistent, to me.

I think you need to gently remind him to do what's required of him, every single time that you find something out of order, such as his clothing on the floor. I mean, why would he pick them up? He's got you doing it for him. He doesn't sound like a slob at all. He sounds like a typical 8 year old boy. My 5 year old son knows his routine. He's required to do way more than your SS, but he remembers, because I've coached him all along. You have to be consistent, because he can't be.

sweetdreamz6700 · August 2014

I have, and am still, there with SS's (9 and 11) who are with us EOW. For them it had a lot to do with not ever having to be responsible for anything ever really. It took some work and we're still working on it.

Right now what works for us is the almighty dollar. Money is everything to these boys and their grandpa likes to give it to them. So I've started charging them for my services as well as other lazy behavior. Leave the light on? You can help pay the electric bill then - 50 cents an incident. You leave your clothes everywhere? 50 cents for me to work a "2nd job" since they don't want to do thiers. So on and so forth.

We've been trying this for a couple of months now and I've only had to collect $4 total so in our case its definitely helped.

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