Guilt riddled...

Craycatlady22 · June 2014

Ever since I found out I was pregnant i was so good about taking care of myself and my baby, but tonight me and my partner had a blazing row that went on for hours (about something so stupid) and out of rage I went and smoked 4 cigarettes one after the other. I know maybe to some it sounds silly but the stress of the argument and smoking combined I feel absolutely terrible about what I'm after putting my unborn baby through.. Me and my partner resolved and kissed and made up apologised etc but I still can't sleep after what I did allowing myself to get so enraged

any words of advice?

Meery82 · June 2014

Stop smoking.

MrsLaLaBug · June 2014

Throw away the cigs and never pick them up again. If you aren't keeping them around maybe you won't be tempted again. They aren't only bad for baby, they're bad for you, as well.

staryb · June 2014

I don't want to tell you not to feel bad or guilty about it because there is really no excuse for smoking at this point, but what's done is done. Feeling bad won't change it and you probably don't need the added stress of the guilt you're feeling. Just throw away the cigarettes, brush it off and don't let it happen again.

ScubaMomma · June 2014

Agree with above comments. Chuck the cigarettes so they aren't around to tempt you next time you have a stressful moment.
Maybe researching the effects smoking has on your baby and yourself will help you break the habit.
Wishing you strength to overcome this vice.

@staryb, your U/S image is so perfect! What a cutie!

Lerisa85 · June 2014

My mom smoked through her entire pregnancy with my twin and I. She cut back but never quit. Seriously it's not as bad as people think. I don't smoke, never have, but there's a lot worse you could be doing than smoking 4 cigarettes in a pregnancy. Chill out and try not to do it again if it bothers you.

Manateearmz · June 2014

Lerisa85 said:
My mom smoked through her entire pregnancy with my twin and I. She cut back but never quit. Seriously it's not as bad as people think. I don't smoke, never have, but there's a lot worse you could be doing than smoking 4 cigarettes in a pregnancy. Chill out and try not to do it again if it bothers you.

This is possibly the worst advice I have EVER seen. It is as bad as people think, any medical professional will tell you that.

OP I agree with all of the suggestions about quitting and not keeping them around the house. If you and your partner are getting into arguments to the point of causing you to do something that you know to be harmful to your baby, perhaps you should seek counseling.

ASmallWonder · June 2014

Lerisa85 said:

My mom smoked through her entire pregnancy with my twin and I. She cut back but never quit. Seriously it's not as bad as people think. I don't smoke, never have, but there's a lot worse you could be doing than smoking 4 cigarettes in a pregnancy. Chill out and try not to do it again if it bothers you.

I think her smoking deprived your brain of oxygen, otherwise I can't figure out why you think the above is correct.

OP - 4 cigarettes in a pregnancy isn't worth being overly upset about but yes - get rid of them so they're not even a temptation.

PrimRoseMama · June 2014

I'm sorry you are struggling. Can you talk with your OB? Ask if you can chew the nicotine gum? Basically, chew in decreasing amounts until you are free of the urge?

I was smoking when I found out I was pg with my daughter. It was not hard for me to quit because I had an aversion to them in the beginning. However, I know the struggle to quit prior to being pregnant. It's very difficult.

Toss the cigarettes & vary your routine. Suckers helped me "have something to do with my hands" to help break the habit.

It sounds dumb, but candy cigarettes. You can hold them as you drive or after eating in the beginning to get over that sensation. Both of these helped me quit a number if times for years at a time.

Another thing that helped me was doing something different in place of smoking. After a meal or with my coffee I'd do a crossword or count to 50 to let the craving pass. A little bit of chocolate when I craved helped too or an Altoid. I must have gone through tins & tins of altoids because they gave me a rush with mint very similar to cigarettes.

I've fallen off the wagon here or there post partum & after my Dad died. Please be gentle with yourself & reach out for help from your doctor. Shame doesn't help you quit. It just helps you sink deeper into addiction.

Sending you strength as you work through it. It's very hard to quit.

allrightmeow · June 2014

Lerisa85 said:

My mom smoked through her entire pregnancy with my twin and I. She cut back but never quit. Seriously it's not as bad as people think. I don't smoke, never have, but there's a lot worse you could be doing than smoking 4 cigarettes in a pregnancy. Chill out and try not to do it again if it bothers you.

Please don't share this information ever again. It is the worse piece of advice I have ever read. You and your twin got lucky. Educate yourself.

4legsRbest · June 2014

Don't beat yourself up too much over this one instance, just learn from it and how it made you feel and don't do it again. Pregnancy is a stressful time, sorry you had a bad day. My mom always says, once you know better, you can do better.

staryb · June 2014

Lerisa85 said:

My mom smoked through her entire pregnancy with my twin and I. She cut back but never quit. Seriously it's not as bad as people think. I don't smoke, never have, but there's a lot worse you could be doing than smoking 4 cigarettes in a pregnancy. Chill out and try not to do it again if it bothers you.

My mom also smoked throughout her pregnancy with me and I turned out ok (as far as I know). So yeah, maybe OP smoking 4 cigarettes isn't the end of the world but it's not something that should be considered ok to do again. I agree that she should calm down about it since it's over and done with and most likely didn't hurt her baby but it's still not something she should do again.

@scubamomma, Thank you so much! Yeah, we got lucky there

Lgillaspie · June 2014

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