Moms with toddlers

ns1 · May 2014

I want my toddler to be able to be near me and the baby when I'm holding him, but my toddler is constantly moving her arms and legs like crazy or swinging toys around without regard for who or what is near her and I'm worried she might accidentally hit or kick the baby. How are any of you dealing with this?

Ziegeficker · May 2014

We ask Henry to "be gentle" when we notice him being too rough with our dogs...so we have been using the same request with the baby since it's something he understands. It's also the wording daycare uses with all their kids. So far he seems to respond by actually letting up a little and being noticeably gentler with baby when we say this. We also restrict him from touching her face and just let him touch the top or back of her head and belly. After a while of these introductory interactions, we may actually trust him to be closer to her like you're talking about. But not yet. Henry also isn't much of a cuddler anyway, so it's nearly impossible to hold them both. But we are working toward that slowly.

ns1 · May 2014

DD is actually pretty gentle when touching the baby. It's more an issue when she's near me on the couch and not thinking about how her flailing arms might hit the baby! So I guess at least it's unintentional...

Xath · May 2014

I was shocked that DS1 already had a handle on what to do around babies. There are other babies at daycare, but I didn't realize how much he interacts with them. I'd never leave them alone together, but our big "concerns" right now are mostly him picking up any pacifier he finds (no matter where it is) by the nipple and then trying to forcibly shove it into the baby's mouth.

ho11yday · May 2014

DS2 is a lot more resilient than I would expect. DS1 has hit, kicked, and been a bit forceful with DS2 (including shoving pacifiers in DS2's mouth). A lot of it is accidental but we keep repeating to be gentle. Funny thing, DS2 never seems to wake up or seems bothered by any of it.

MissLadyTay · May 2014

My three year old was GREAT at first. Better than expected. But we are five weeks in and he has started what we call "aggressively loving" the baby. His kisses are hard (more like head butting the baby) and when he holds the baby's hand I can tell he's squeezing. I get pretty mad, honestly, and I tell him firmly to back off until he can be gentle and sweet. If he won't leave the baby alone he gets a time out or loses his iPad privileges.

jasrun80 · May 2014

this was my concern exactly with my second. I had to be surcease watched her close as my older one has flailers. he really only learned as she grew bigger & older so IMO it's just something you have to be ontop of & watch closely. I have a newborn now & I'm def going to have my hands full in this category but swings, bouncers, talking about being careful & baby wearing help!

spinsoffresonance · June 2014

Same problem here I call it the bull in the china shop issue. DD1 is the bull, DD2 the china shop. DD1 has definitely kicked DD2 unintentionally several times, she also gives her lots of kisses but tends to lean on her with all her weight when doing so. DD1 is in the process of learning body parts so she now pulls DD2's ears and sticks her fingers in her eyes and mouth saying "ears", "eyes"., " mouth".It's really hard because I don't want to get angry at DD1 for kissing her sister or learning body parts but at the same time she has to learn to be a lot more gentle with her sister. So mostly I just grab her hand, tell her to be gentle and show her how to pet DD2.
Whenever I nurse DD1 wants to snuggle too, so we have now resorted to siting on the bed together. DD2 is on my boob, DD1 sits between my legs and I turn the dog show on TV which keeps her entertained so she isn't all over DD2. Poor kid has seen more TV in the last 3w than in her entire life. I don't want to make this a permanent thing, because she really shouldn't be watching this much tv, but it works for now so that I can get through the newborn stage.

bumpuser9353653 · June 2014

Yeah, DD1 was all kinds of squirmy when trying to sit near me. She's ok with the baby but wasn't so careful around me, and I had a c/s to recover from so I was sensitive too.

We just told her that mommy's belly had a boo-boo and she needed to be careful and gentle around me and baby.

She understood that pretty well, and there have only been a handful of times where DH had to help settle her down or get her to stop moving so she didn't kick my stomach or whack the baby on accident.

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