I have the sadz :(

lifesaverz · May 2014

Do you ever go on FB & see pics of your friends hanging out at some get together you weren't invited to? I feel like this has been happening a lot lately & I just saw another pic & it really bummed me out. I usually don't let it get to me but I actually started crying, ugh. Now it's not my besties, who are guys btw, they've always been around, but it's a group of girls that I've done plenty of things with, & I don't know if they've now forgot about me, or what. I'm just sad, & irritated that I care about this. I realize no one can change this, but just needed to get it out. Anyone else ever feel this way?

mamaj1220 · May 2014

Yeah I didn't get an invite to one of my close friends weddings this July... it seems like since I haven't been going out getting drunk every weekend no one really wants to be around anymore.

lifesaverz · May 2014

prettykitty2012 said:
This def happened to me when I was KU. And I cried. And now my best friend, who I haven't been more than 20 miles away from in 15 years, has moved across the country. Lots of sads here too.

Sorry you're feeling that way

Oh man I'm so sorry, that really sucks about your best friend!

lifesaverz · May 2014

JennaDyer said:
Yeah I didn't get an invite to one of my close friends weddings this July... it seems like since I haven't been going out getting drunk every weekend no one really wants to be around anymore.

I'm sorry you're feeling this too. The weird thing is, a few of the girls I'm talking about are moms, so I know it's not because I'm a mom now.

I just texted the one I'm closest with & told her I miss her & asked if we could get together soon. She was like yeah for sure, & said she just hadn't texted me because she assumed I was in mommy mode & embracing my time with LO & didn't want to interrupt that. That's kind of a load off, maybe people have just forgotten I existed temporarily. I need to be more proactive I guess in letting people know I still want to hang out.

lifesaverz · May 2014

That really sucks about your friends not inviting you to their weddings though.

Man.

mamaj1220 · May 2014

Yeah it seems like everyone is still in party mode and since I have a baby I am at a different point. I'd like to go out. Not llike I used to but once in a while would be fun. Also I stopped saying yes to being DD last summer because it isn't fun to take care of drunk people every weekend. Seems like I made some people mad saying no but whatever.

lifesaverz · May 2014

emilysalley said:
I feel the same way. And none of my friends have come to visit at my house. If I want to see them I have to drive 45 minutes out to them. I need to make some mom friends.

Aww I'm sorry. That's a long drive, that would be tough!

fauxvegan · May 2014

I feel ya. My friends went out to lunch today. Guess who wasn't invited? My BF hadn't texted me in over 2 months. I want to be sensitive towards her since she had a MC in 2011 but I'm not sure if I should just make new mommy friends. I have no friends TBH...

CandiP523 · June 2014

Same here

we moved across the country and now live only two blocks from my best friend of twenty years. The transition has been rough with my mom in the hospital and have only seen my girlfriend maybe five times.

thebobloblaw · June 2014

Luckily my friendships haven't changed too much, I worked so much before LO that I don't see them any less than before really. But I am super excited for this week because they are starting a moms group through my hospital with some girls that went through baby classes at the same time. I'm really pumped to make some mama friends and not feel bad when all I talk about is babies!

Aycul18 · June 2014

I can relate. Sometimes they invite me, but not as often as before.

lifesaverz · June 2014

My sorries to everyone feeling this way. Sounds like we're in the same boat.

cmsf1111 · June 2014

I never get invited to anything, either. None of my friends have kids so they don't invite me to anything (I think) because they're afraid I'm going to show up with the baby and ruin their fun. Sometimes being a mom is really lonely. ):

Danicali · June 2014

I hear ya. One of my best friends and I hardly talk anymore since I've gotten pregnant/had my LO. She lives about 3.5 hours away so it's not close to catch up quick. One of the texts soon after I got home was "does he sleep through the night" and I said "oh god no. He eats every 2-3 hours" and she said "oh I couldn't do that. I like sleep way too much" and that was really the last we texted. I guess I was kinda offended by it. It seemed as though she was saying that giving up sleep isn't worth having a kid for. She came to my shower but wouldn't hold my baby at all. Just touched his hand and said "ok. I'm good" it's all very strange. But I guess as our lives change our friends will too. I'm trying to connect with girls in my area that have babies the same age. I figure that as our interests change I guess our friends will too! Once our kids are active in extra curricular kinda stuff we will be busy!'

notthecheat · June 2014

This happened to me before I became a mom. I was in college and had severe depression, and developed chronic fatigue that I still struggle with. As I became more and more tired, I just simply didn't have energy to hang out anymore, no matter how bad I wanted to. All my free time was spent sleeping. Eventually, I grew apart from my siblings and my friends, and they all stayed close without me. It was very lonely and heartbreaking. I still struggle to keep relationships going.

So I really feel you. But if these are friends worth keeping, you just need to reach out and they will grab you. Let them know how you feel. They may just assume you are already busy with baby, are too "mature" for them now that you are a parent or are not sure how to approach you now. Tell them how much you miss them and would enjoy hanging out. Take the initiative to call or email and ask how things are going. It really sucks feeling on the outside, but they may not even realize you feel this way or are hurt. If they are true friends, they will respond if you reach out to them and make an effort if they see you are too.

lifesaverz · June 2014

@sventurarn‌, such good advice. Several of them are moms so there's really no reason why we couldn't hang out. I think you're right that I just need to reach out more, & I think I've realized that they were just assuming I was busy & giving me space. So I just need to be more vocal in letting them know I really do want to spend time with them.

On another note, I'm really sorry about all that chronic fatigue stuff. I have actually dealt with that as well. I'm not anemic but I am a bit on the lower side for iron, so I started taking iron supplements & they help my energy so much!! Also just curious, have you ever read about a condition called P.O.T.S.? It's what I have & I know a couple other people who have it too; it causes a lot of chronic fatigue. Sorry that got long. Feel free to PM me though!

notthecheat · June 2014

@jordanm24‌ ygpm

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