Sleeping on the job

janneann1127 · May 2014

So, we have a sitter that comes weekly to watch D while I work at G's school. She's here 8am - 2 p.m. Her job is to take care of the baby, but she also does light housework, like laundry, dishes, etc.
Anyway, my H won this "pet cam" through work and we decided to set it up in our living room so we could check in on the nanny every once in a while. I've been watching her randomly for a couple of months.

Eta: Posted too soon! Sorry.
Anyway, yesterday I caught her laying on the couch and watching TV for at least a half an hour. It was during the baby's naptime, so it's not like she was neglecting the baby or anything. I was kind of annoyed, but I thought, well if she gets everything done, then maybe she just needed a break. However, when I got home, the only thing she'd really done all day was wash the dishes. There was laundry in the dryer that she didn't even bother to fold. The baby napped for an hour and a half so it's not like she didn't have any time. What would you do? I hate confrontation so the idea of talking to her about it makes me break out in a cold sweat!

carrotcake06 · May 2014

Is the housework something that she just does, or have you agreed that she will do it? Do you have a contract with her or anything?

I'd get more specific w her in the morning - please do x, y, and z. Then watch her and see if does them or doesn't have time to do them and then ask her when you get home about it and see if she lies.

Though if you don't have a formal agreement w her to do stuff, you can't really be mad at her for not doing something she may or may not have even known was there.

janneann1127 · May 2014

@carrotcake06 - The housework is something that we agreed to. We offered to pay her $12/hour and she told us that her rate is $15 but that's because she also does light housework. In the past, she typically does laundry, starts the dishwasher (if needed) and does light cleaning like sweeping or shaking out rugs, dusting, etc. We agreed to pay that much because we thought it would be worth it. Now I feel like she's getting complacent, as we hired her in September and she seems to have gotten a little lazier as the months have gone on. I'm pretty sure we need to move on, I just dread having to do it. :-(

BlondieBia21 · May 2014

Does she know about the camera? Some states it is illegal to record like that.

I would just make a list of things you want done. Ie-
M-F- dishes as needed/laundry as needed.
Mon- vacuum
Tues- dust
Wed- bathrooms
Thurs- windows
Fri- misc.

Snowbird7 · May 2014

If you want to confront her, it's probably a good idea to be direct about it. But you can also do it in a warm and friendly way, to ease the tension of the situation:

"Hi! Come on in... Today Baby D will probably go down for a nap around 10 a.m., and I was hoping you could fold the laundry in the dryer and wash the kitchen dishes. Thanks so much, we appreciate it. See you later!"

janneann1127 · May 2014

etc35173 said:
I'm going to be completely honest because I used to be a nanny for about 7 years, I would not confront her unless I was prepared to immediately find new childcare. If I had discovered that I was being recorded without my knowledge or consent I would have been extremely uncomfortable and felt incredibly violated. I probably would have resigned my job right then without giving notice because I was a view as a serious breach of trust. Just imagine all of the private things you do all day while you are alone with LO, have you ever picked your nose, picked a wedgie or farted? How comfortable would you feel knowing your employer was watching you do all of those things you thought were private without your permission?

That said, I would probably leave a list of things I expected to get done each day. These things being finished when you get home should be enough indication that she is doing her job. We all have a lazy day every so often when we bump a little more than usual or surf the internet when we probably could be spending our time doing something more productive. I'm sure none of us would like it if our bosses stood behind us all day watching everything we did and we shouldn't do it to other people either.

Fair enough. I don't really watch often enough to see much but I understand where you're coming from. I think that my feeling of needing to move on from her comes from more than just this incident. She only works once a week for 6 hours so I guess I just expect that she spends those 6 hours actually working. If she was working for me full-time, I would totally understand some rest on the job.

Anyway, thanks for your input ladies. I appreciate it!

magdalina.h · May 2014

Maybe she didn't feel good

janneann1127 · May 2014

magdalina.h said:

Maybe she didn't feel good

Yeah, I thought of that. Sometimes I just get the feeling that she can be a little lazy. One day I came home and Candy Crush was open on her phone, sitting on the counter. The last time we had a date night, we came home and there were dishes in the sink and toys not picked up, while the kids had been asleep for more than an hour. All of these things adding up + sleeping on the couch and I'm starting to feel like we might need to find someone else. I dread having to go through that process.

janneann1127 · May 2014

etc35173 said:

If its a regular thing then its not okay. From everything you have said you have more than enough for a confrontation without even bringing the video into it. If you are paying her for housework and she is not doing it then you have a right to feel cheated. Once in awhile is not a big deal-maybe the kiddos were extra draining that night, but it sounds like she just isn't doing her job. Find someone you like better and if you want to be able to check in just tell them that you miss baby so much you like to be able to see LO every once in awhile when you are at work.

PS I wasn't accusing you of watching her pick wedgies lol, I was only trying to point out the potential for embarrassment. If your nanny knows there is a camera in the living room then she has the option to pick her nose in the bathroom instead...or not...its her problem at that point.

hahaha.. no I totally understand. It is weird to video someone and not tell them. And could be potentially violating. I actually know someone (a friend of a friend) who caught their nanny masturbating on video while she was babysitting their kid. They fired her obviously but when they tried to have it put on her record (she did it in front of the baby), the video was inadmissible in court because it wasn't legal. Sadly, that lady is likely out there taking care of other kids.

TrueBeliever925 · May 2014

janneann1127 said:

etc35173 said:

If its a regular thing then its not okay. From everything you have said you have more than enough for a confrontation without even bringing the video into it. If you are paying her for housework and she is not doing it then you have a right to feel cheated. Once in awhile is not a big deal-maybe the kiddos were extra draining that night, but it sounds like she just isn't doing her job. Find someone you like better and if you want to be able to check in just tell them that you miss baby so much you like to be able to see LO every once in awhile when you are at work.

PS I wasn't accusing you of watching her pick wedgies lol, I was only trying to point out the potential for embarrassment. If your nanny knows there is a camera in the living room then she has the option to pick her nose in the bathroom instead...or not...its her problem at that point.

hahaha.. no I totally understand. It is weird to video someone and not tell them. And could be potentially violating. I actually know someone (a friend of a friend) who caught their nanny masturbating on video while she was babysitting their kid. They fired her obviously but when they tried to have it put on her record (she did it in front of the baby), the video was inadmissible in court because it wasn't legal. Sadly, that lady is likely out there taking care of other kids.

Woahhh! That's awful!

BlueJewelM · May 2014

Oh man...did you talk to your H? What did he say?

If be pretty upset. $15 an hour to watch a baby and do some light housework for 6 hours is a pretty sweet gig. You'd think you could get through a shift without spending an hour and half relaxing?

Would finding someone else be pretty hard? Maybe you could have a discussion with her that you'd like to find someone for less money, would she do it for less and maybe lighten her "housework" load (since she's not doing any anyway?!!?)

I dunno. That is a pickle!

raguggenmos · May 2014

We went through this about a month ago. Our nanny was a total couch potato and was napping on the job. I was dreading finding someone new, but now a month into our new nanny I couldn't be happier we made the switch! With the new girl I made sure to be more clear with expectations and rules so we were definitely on the same page. She helps clean when the baby is napping. I created a daily log for her to fill out that let's us know the activities they did, what my daughter ate, when she slept and for how long, her mood, and what cleaning tasks she accomplished. It's hard enough leaving your baby, you don't need the nanny to be stressing you out on top of it.

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