Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
2MamazInSeattle
member
Re: **Third-Party Reproduction Check-In** May 26th edi.
Hi! I finally started AF, and also started BCP last night. My DE FET is tentatively scheduled for July 3rd.
QOTW: I enjoyed spending the summers with my aunt on her farm taking care of the animals!
I hope everyone is having a nice weekend.
TTC #1 since May 2010
OE IVF #1 9/2/13 Cancelled- poor response
DE IVF #1 3/12/14- BFP 3/17/14- ectopic, right tube removed 4/11/14 @ 7 weeks
DE FET #1 7/3/14-Transferred 2 5AA 6 day embryos Beta 7/13/14 BFN
DE FET #2 9/5/14-Transferred 2 4BB 5 day embryos Beta 9/15/14 BFN
DE FET #3 in December- Cancelled, didn't respond to meds
DE FET #3 (2nd try) 2/13/15- Transferred 1 4BB and 1 4BA 5 day embryos Beta 2/23/15 BFN again (CP)
DE FET #4 - last 2 frosties....5/22/15- Transferred 1 4BA embryo...only one frostie thawed properly. Beta scheduled for 6/1- BFN (beta 2, 2.81, 6, 23, 49.4) 6/15/15 Discovered ectopic in left tube. Methotrexate given. Moving on to a new donor. Hoping to transfer by the end of the year.
Cant find a donor that is healthy and available. Looking at being happy with just the two of us.
Preg mentioned:
I got my BFP on Friday and it's been getting darker since! I called my IP's and they cried it was so cute but I can tell they are trying to not get too excited. I'll call my doc tomorrow to set up my first appt!
I just want to say thank you so much for welcoming me into your special little group and because of you, after I do this surrogacy, I'd love to be a GS or egg donor!
Good luck to all of you!
@JimBobCooter - How frustrating... hoping #2 confirms
@parker163 - Congratulations!! So exciting
Me: Diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2013, underwent fertility sparing surgery which left low ovarian reserve, no tubes, partial ovary | DH: perfectly normal
BFP: 5/30/2014 via donor eggs | EDD: 2/6/2015
@parker163- Good luck to you!
@JimBobCooter- Good luck with your new donor!
Jessarab- Good luck with your transfer being successful!
TTC #1 since May 2010
OE IVF #1 9/2/13 Cancelled- poor response
DE IVF #1 3/12/14- BFP 3/17/14- ectopic, right tube removed 4/11/14 @ 7 weeks
DE FET #1 7/3/14-Transferred 2 5AA 6 day embryos Beta 7/13/14 BFN
DE FET #2 9/5/14-Transferred 2 4BB 5 day embryos Beta 9/15/14 BFN
DE FET #3 in December- Cancelled, didn't respond to meds
DE FET #3 (2nd try) 2/13/15- Transferred 1 4BB and 1 4BA 5 day embryos Beta 2/23/15 BFN again (CP)
DE FET #4 - last 2 frosties....5/22/15- Transferred 1 4BA embryo...only one frostie thawed properly. Beta scheduled for 6/1- BFN (beta 2, 2.81, 6, 23, 49.4) 6/15/15 Discovered ectopic in left tube. Methotrexate given. Moving on to a new donor. Hoping to transfer by the end of the year.
Cant find a donor that is healthy and available. Looking at being happy with just the two of us.
AFM not much. Still on estrace. U/S this Saturday for lining check. FET 6/4.
QOTW: We would visit cousins in Erie, PA in the summer and always had fun at the lake. Would cry the whole way home because I never wanted to leave them
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!
12/2011: Finished chemo
5/2013: Cleared for DE IVF
11/13: DEgg IVF#1
8/5/14: Grace was born!
I'm saving money for our next FET in sept and still working on losing weight. 8lbs down and just joined a gym with a daycare so in gonna start as soon as this chest cold goes away! Miss all you ladies and I'm trying to keep up with you all!!
Qotw: lots of fun days out by our pool bbqing and swimming. We did it the past two days since it was 99 today!!;)
Me:36 DH:38 TTC#1 since 4/2012
Me DX: Hashimotos,Hypothyroid, DOR, MTHFR, DH: normal
IUI #1-#4 BFNs and a few cancelled cycles in the mix.
- poor responder
***Suprise BFP on 6/13/13. Natural MC @6wks 3days
IVF#1 and 2- Cancelled due to no response on max stimms
FET 5/20- BFP
1st Beta- 641
2nd beta- 2166
Sono- TWINS!!!!
Two Boys! Born January 2015 @36 weeks. Healthy and no NICU! So blessed!
Me: Diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2013, underwent fertility sparing surgery which left low ovarian reserve, no tubes, partial ovary | DH: perfectly normal
BFP: 5/30/2014 via donor eggs | EDD: 2/6/2015
@ksgsmu - yea!!! Congrats!!!
Afm - transfer is Wednesday... Technically tomorrow since its 2am (I'm at work) ... Which is crazy.
I'm not expecting this to work, but at the same time I know I'm not going to be ok if it doesn't. I guess at this point there is a tiny piece of me that still has hope that maybe I really have fallen on the wrong side of the odds... Over and over and over again. But, I feel like it has to be more than just really bad luck if this fails again and I'm not ready to face that.
Fx the transfer at least goes smoothly and I didnt get this stupid stitch on my cervix for nothing.
Qotw - I spent a lot of days at the beach with my sisters. I love the ocean, it's one of the happiest and most relaxing places for me-
Me (32) DOR, elevated NK Cells/ 2 copies of MTHFR mutation/ MH (35) azoo/high DFI (TTC#1 since 2009)
IVFs#1-4: (4/10-2/12) all BFN
Surprise Bfp (9/11) - c/p
DS IUI#1-2 (9/12, 10/12) - BFN
DS IVF: (11/12) - BFN
DE/DS IVF#1: (10/13) - 2 day 3 embies transferred-BFFN
FET of 2 day 6 blasts: (12/13) - c/p
DE/DS IVF #2: (4/14) - 1 day 5 blast transferred...BFFN...again.
FET 5/14: 1 day 5 hatching blast transferred...another BFFN
Repeat SHG 6/14-normal / Endometrial Receptivity Array biopsy 7/14-Receptive Uterus
New RE, additional testing reveals elevated NK Cells
FET of 1 day 5 blast (RE recommends transferring 1 due to elevated NK cells) with lovenox, steroids & intralipids in October
QOTW: Some of my favorite summertime memories from my childhood were our big family barbecues. There was always lots of food and lots of kids running around. Since my grandparents have passed, our family just doesn't get together like we used to.
TTC #1 since August 2011
My Blog
September 2012: Start IF testing
DH (32): SA is ok, slightly low morph, normal SCSA Me (32): Slightly low progesterone, hostile CM, carrier for CF, Moderately high NKC, High TNFa, heterozyogous mutated Factor XIII, and +APA
October 2012-May 2014: 4 failed IUIs, 3 failed IVFs, and 1 failed FETw/donor embryos
November 2014: IVF w/ICSI #4 Agonist/Antagonist with EPP and Prednisone, Baby Aspirin, Lovenox, and IVIG for immune issues. Converted to freeze all due to lining issues. 2 blasts frozen on day 6!
January 2015: FET #2 Cancelled due to lining issues
April 2015: FET #2.1
PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
DH: Severe MFI
12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN
8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
My ovaries are just for decoration
12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts.
2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.
6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d.
11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522 Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373
6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!
Snowflake baby is a girl!
Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!
My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
@Km672 -- sending you all the T&PS in the world! I was convinced that my last cycle was never going to work and I hope you get the same amazing surprise:-)
@Lacy67 -- enjoy your time off with PJ:-)
@JimBobCooter -- hang in there. The right donor will come to you:-) DE is a hard process even though doctors sell it to you as "easy". It's not!!
AFM: I'm just about 13 weeks. We tried to get the NT scan done last week but the babies would not cooperate. We couldn't get any measurements..we did the bloodwork but its sort of useless with no measurements..I was pretty upset. I am considering an amnio in a few weeks. For the most part, people think Im nuts to do it but I think, for me, that I need to know that there are no chromosome abnormalities or that there are. I don't like surprises...
We told DH's family this weekend and everyone was really happy for us and totally shocked. Of course my MIL has no clue about donor/IVF stuff etc as she kept asking if twins run in my family and going thru the list of their family for twins... Face palm. But I've decided to let it all go. She's 84 and it just doesn't matter... I also told my BFF over the phone last night and she started crying. Her two kids are 10 years apart and now mine will be 10 yrs younger than her youngest. That is a lot of years of kid activities between us...
Happiest summer memory?? We used to go to these cabins in update NY. I loved it at the time but laugh now as I would hate it now--don't like woods/bugs etc!
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
TTC since April 2010
BFP #1 – March 2011, missed m/c April 2011
BFP #2 – October 2011, m/c November 2011
Surprise BFP #3 – December 2011, diagnosed as cornual, terminated January 2012
BFP #4 – June 2012, m/c July 2012
Diagnosed with bicornuate ute and MTHR gene mutation
BFP #5 – October 2012, missed m/c November 2012
BFP #6 – January 2013, m/c March 2013
No longer TTC. Diagnosis: Hostile ute. Heartbroken and bitter. Pursuing surrogacy.
June 2013 - Carrier found! Could this really happen?!
~All AL always welcome~
Donor went in for the retrieval today. A We are starting with 16 eggs. Hopefully a handful of great quality survive.
Sooo close!!!
First mini-IVF Sept 2011... Only 1 egg! ... BFN
Switching RE
IVF#2 May 2012 9 eggs and only 2 sperm, WTH!
BFN
Switching RE's within practice
*~God gives his hardest battles to his toughest solders. Unknown.
Feeling good other then that
I am rooting for all of you & love keeping up with you all, just don't always know how to support you all & don't want to say the wrong thing. Just want you all to know!!!
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!
Favorite summer memory is outdoor concerts! I could go broke every summer if I let myself. It's something about a warm summer night and listening to you favorite artist live.
Diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer January 1996
One small cancerous cyst (left ovary) removed Jan '96, chemotherapy Jan - July '96
Three more cancerous cysts found July 1996 (left ovary), ovary removed July '96, chemotherapy July '96 - Feb '97
February 1997 given all clear! Told of suspected infertility
Tove Ikarus born July 2010, given guardianship September 2010
April 2014 infertility confirmed
IVF with sister's eggs July 2014
(Hopeful) adoption of Tove July 2015
@LaireAndLia is my sister's partner, @DragonsLaire is my sister
Check-in: On bcps now for a week, it's been awhile since I've taken any hormones of any sort and it's crazy how much I notice changes in my body. We turned in all our paperwork to our RE's office today. They'll call us later this week to collect our deposit for FET that will either be July 11 or 18. Lupron will start on the 11th.
QOTW: My mom's side of the family goes to Virginia every summer where we rent a beach house for a week or more. It's definitely my happy place - we go again mid-June leaving two days after we start meds for our FET.
Me: 33 (Mosaic Turner's Syndrome/POF)
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!
Me: 33 (Mosaic Turner's Syndrome/POF)