August 2014 Moms

Fears - I need to stop reading things!

My aunt gave me a copy of the June issue of Parents magazine. In it, there's a huge article with 3 different stories about people accidentally leaving their infants in hot cars. In one story, the parent thought they dropped their baby off at the sitter when they in fact left them in the back seat for the entire work day. It's this absentminded crap that makes me full on panic about having a baby. I'm high anxiety to begin with, full of worries about being a bad mom, and now I have one more what-if scenario in my head. I know there have to be more FTMs (even STMs) that are just as scared as I am. How do you talk yourselves down?

Re: Fears - I need to stop reading things!

  • The fact that you are so fearful about it will help too. I read a similar story before DD was born and to this day (2.5 years later) I do a quick glance at the car seat every day when I park my car at work even though I clearly remember dropping her off at the sitter. I've never forgotten her, but that fear won't go away so I always check.
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  • MC03MC03 member
    The fact that you are so fearful about it will help too. I read a similar story before DD was born and to this day (2.5 years later) I do a quick glance at the car seat every day when I park my car at work even though I clearly remember dropping her off at the sitter. I've never forgotten her, but that fear won't go away so I always check.
    This is me exactly.  After reading a story shortly before DD was born I was hyper-paranoid, but it's made me always aware now.
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  • I read that on a plane trip and started crying. I was thinking always put something you need in the back with baby.. Like your key fob, work laptop, etc.
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  • My DH and I do a daily Drop off check in, whoever drops DS off the other calls to find out how drop off went. That phone call ensures that we did in fact drop him off and he is safe and sound at daycare. Typically my husband does the dropping off so I do the calling. I put it on my calender when DS was in infant to get me into the habit of calling and now it is just second nature for us.
  • I always try to look back and see if my boys are in the car (or out of the car, depending).  I find myself sometimes wondering if we left someone back at home!  Especially on the rare occasions when one of them is actually quiet for an extended period of time.

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    son#1 born 6/2010

    son#2 born 4/2012

    son#3 born 7/2014

  • I read the same article and was bawling. I hads talk with H afterwards and will remind him again after the baby arrives. Take their warning to heart and always leave something next to the car seat!
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  • You can also have the daycare center call if you haven't dropped off by a certain time (like the time it would take you to get to work).  That's a double backup and they shouldn't mind since it's unlikely you'd ever forget.
    Lucas Arlo - 2/26/10, Cordelia Jane - 1/20/12 
    #3 is due 8/27/14

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  • I didn't have any crazy fears until after I gave birth, apparently it's normal, so be prepared for it to get worse.

    I was scared of tripping on the sidewalk and dropping my baby, or tripping down the stairs. I'm not a clumsy person. I've never done these things, it was irrational.

    I was paranoid someone would try to steel by baby in public.

    Just weird things like that. It never stopped me from doing things b/c I knew they were irrational thoughts. But it is nerve wracking.
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  • Yes to both PP's! Ever since ds was born I've had horrible, irrational fears about EVERYTHING involving ds. In every single scenario my brain constantly calculates every possible awful thing that could go wrong. It annoys the crap out of DH.
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  • I read similar articles prior to my first and made dh read it. While its haunting, the potential for harm in such situations, reading the stories actually made me certain this would not accidentally happen with my child. Its important to use knowledge as power and fear is a good motivator, but keep it in perspective and don't let it over run your living.
  • BeachMBeachM member
    I shouldn't make fun, but maybe you'll have a cranky baby who screams while they're in the car for the better part of a year.  There was no way on earth I ever would have forgotten Finn was in the back seat.  One of my friends once said he sounded like a wounded animal wailing back there (we were on the phone while I was driving).  So, there's that.

    There are an unlimited number of things to worry about.  I used to feel my heart rate go up while carrying him down the stairs in our house because I was afraid I'd trip.  Just be careful and remember that the world is not going to end if you are having a bad morning and running late.  The point being, slow down and be conscious of what you're doing.
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  • We have a mirror on the headrest so I can see DD and I always check that before getting out of the car. Some people put their bag in the backseat so they have to get it and check the car seat. There are lots of things you can do to get yourself in the habit of checking for your kid.
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  • This was a huge fear when I was pregnant with my first. So to form the habit of checking the back seat, I installed her car seat when I was like 7 months pregnant and started putting my purse IN her seat, so I would be forced to not just look in the back of the car, but open the doors and physically check the car seat. After she was born, the habit continued — when she came out of the seat, the purse went in.

    Granted, I had a little while longer to acclimate to motherhood too because I ended up unemployed for about 4 months after she was born.

    Now I don't have to worry. She never. Shuts. Up. And my son is following in her footsteps.
                    We're Going to be a Family of 5!

    Lilypie - (PaHE) Lilypie - (4noI)

                                   Lilypie - (2q9u)


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