Sh!t Men Say/Do - Pet Peeve edition

MissDemeanor · May 2014

What does your Husband/Boyfriend do that just drives you crazy?

karich · May 2014

Getting out of the house as a family usually ends up in some kind of argument. Especially if we have to be somewhere at a certain time.

I will get myself, and all 3 kids ready and somehow STILL be waiting on him. He thinks he has all this time because it "only takes him 5 minutes to get ready". Nope. It does not.

snowwhite1979 · May 2014

My DH has to have a bath every morning. Like a 30 minute bath. I take a 5-10 minute shower because kids. It drives me insane, and if he starts his day later he sometimes does not join the rest of us until 5 minutes before it's time to go. So I often don't get a shower, and I have to get DD ready for school while taking care of the baby. I can do this, whatever, DD is five. What bothers me is that he does not feel he needs to ask for "me time" the way I feel I need to. Or that he doesn't really see this as "me time" even though he's usually reading his book or on the computer the whole time. And I have tried to talk to him about this so many times but it is one of his few non-negotiables.

If I had a bath in the morning I would need a nap right away. It makes me sleepy.

MissDemeanor · May 2014

This morning's conversation:

Boyfriend: I don't have any clean underwear

Me: You have a draw full of undies

B: But I don't like any of those, and I don't wear them

Me: OK if they're all worn out I'll check them out and get you new ones

B: No, those are my emergency, no other clean ones underwear

Me: But you don't have any other clean ones, just wear one of those pairs

B: But I don't wear any of these

Me: So you keep them for emergencies, but when there's a no undie emergency, you still won't wear them, but I can't throw them out either?

B; Yes

Me: You're an underwear hoarder

WHY WHY WHY would he want to keep something that he admits he will never wear? He does the same with tshits. It is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. Why would someone hoard worn out jockeys?

On the way to work today, we agreed that I'll buy him 3 new pairs today, and then I'm allowed to throw the others out. But we still have to keep the 39 tshirts he never wears "just in case"

PS I have no idea what he wore to work today. But now I'm curious

Allieb303 · May 2014

DH is always saying "remember? I already told you that." When in fact he most certainly has not. Has a habit of it happening with really important things too! :-t

mlynn333 · May 2014

DH doesn't have opinions. Ever. On anything. And I hate making decisions, so that makes us quite a pair. Even trivial stuff, like stir fry or stuffed shells for dinner, can be a paralyzing decision for us.

MissDemeanor · May 2014

snowwhite1979 said:

My DH has to have a bath every morning. Like a 30 minute bath. I take a 5-10 minute shower because kids. It drives me insane, and if he starts his day later he sometimes does not join the rest of us until 5 minutes before it's time to go. So I often don't get a shower, and I have to get DD ready for school while taking care of the baby. I can do this, whatever, DD is five. What bothers me is that he does not feel he needs to ask for "me time" the way I feel I need to. Or that he doesn't really see this as "me time" even though he's usually reading his book or on the computer the whole time. And I have tried to talk to him about this so many times but it is one of his few non-negotiables. If I had a bath in the morning I would need a nap right away. It makes me sleepy.

My boyfriend takes a 30 minute bath every morning too! I clean the kitchen, make breakfast, get baby ready if I have to drive him to work, make bed, get myself ready. He has a bath, then a shower. And I'm STILL ready first.

C12H22O11 · May 2014

@karich, us too. We are *always* 5 minutes late for everything. I'm inevitably waiting in the car with both kids for DH. Drives me insane.

What drives me more insane is that he always reminds me when I should be leaving when it's just me and not our whole family that needs to be somewhere.

Codypup · May 2014

@snowwhite1979 - wowza. I get that the man needs to bathe, but 30 minutes daily? He must be very, very clean.

:-D

My complaint is stupid, and it involves food. My H is a chef, and he's a damn good one. He cooks almost every single night (because my specialty is grilled cheese or Panera drive thru.) I should be more thankful for this, except lately he's been off his game, and it's irrationally annoying me. Last night he made dinner way too spicy for my delicate little taste buds, and I couldn't finish my meal, and had to eat extra pie to compensate for my small dinner. And then I felt sick. And I blamed it all on him.

FWP / Wife of the Year

southerngal07 · May 2014

@MissDemeanor‌ my H too, except it's socks! The man has like 5 shirts that aren't work related, but 30 pairs of socks! He comes down stairs one morning last week and announces he has to leave for work early so that he can stop by target (he was supposed to be waiting for my mom to get to the house to watch DS). Why does he have to go to target? Because he needs socks! His all either had holes in them or they were in the hamper. And since I hadn't done laundry (because busy going back to work and taking care of DS) he obviously needed to buy more socks. I resisted the urge to TP him and told him to suck it up and wear the socks he had.

C12H22O11 · May 2014

MissDemeanor said:

snowwhite1979 said:

My DH has to have a bath every morning. Like a 30 minute bath. I take a 5-10 minute shower because kids. It drives me insane, and if he starts his day later he sometimes does not join the rest of us until 5 minutes before it's time to go. So I often don't get a shower, and I have to get DD ready for school while taking care of the baby. I can do this, whatever, DD is five. What bothers me is that he does not feel he needs to ask for "me time" the way I feel I need to. Or that he doesn't really see this as "me time" even though he's usually reading his book or on the computer the whole time. And I have tried to talk to him about this so many times but it is one of his few non-negotiables.

If I had a bath in the morning I would need a nap right away. It makes me sleepy.

My boyfriend takes a 30 minute bath every morning too! I clean the kitchen, make breakfast, get baby ready if I have to drive him to work, make bed, get myself ready. He has a bath, then a shower. And I'm STILL ready first.

All these grown men taking baths...I don't think DH has taken a bath since he was 6.

snowwhite1979 · May 2014

lala2332 said:
DH wants to still do what is fun for him...golf. Which is an all day or close to thing. Then on Sunday he tells me I need to take DD again because he has work to do. What about some off time for me?

I now HATE golf.

I have basically told DH golf is not an option this summer, for this reason. Would yours be open to going way earlier in the morning so that he's still around for the rest of the day?

Men who refuse to alter their lives when kids come along make me ragey.

greer14 · May 2014

MissDemeanor said:
This morning's conversation:

Boyfriend: I don't have any clean underwear
Me: You have a draw full of undies
B: But I don't like any of those, and I don't wear them
Me: OK if they're all worn out I'll check them out and get you new ones
B: No, those are my emergency, no other clean ones underwear
Me: But you don't have any other clean ones, just wear one of those pairs
B: But I don't wear any of these
Me: So you keep them for emergencies, but when there's a no undie emergency, you still won't wear them, but I can't throw them out either?
B; Yes
Me: You're an underwear hoarder

WHY WHY WHY would he want to keep something that he admits he will never wear? He does the same with tshits. It is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. Why would someone hoard worn out jockeys?

On the way to work today, we agreed that I'll buy him 3 new pairs today, and then I'm allowed to throw the others out. But we still have to keep the 39 tshirts he never wears "just in case"

PS I have no idea what he wore to work today. But now I'm curious

I feel your pain with not wearing them but also not letting you throw them out either. MH does this with underwear and pants. Says they don't fit but he will still wear them, then never does. It's like a cycle every few months when I'm going through our clothes.

MamaHollywood27 · May 2014

My husband always makes little remarks like right before he leaves for work "you wanna go do this quick!?" Implying sex.... Or he will text me in his way home from work "be ready for me!" ... Now while I know he does it partially joking but with full hopes it will happen it drives me Fing NUTS!!! No I don't wanna quick bang before you go to work! Lol

Disclaimer: I have the few times I was in the mood

Meghan14 · May 2014

DH is great with helping with baby and household stuff, so I try not to complain, but this weekend- grrrrrrrrr.

He had chores to do around the house so I had LO all morning. At around noon LO was especially fussy. I put him on my chest and he fell asleep. I had work to do and wanted to shower, but didn't want to disturb LO and figured DH was busy anyway. I fell asleep for about 10 mins. Apparently these were the same 10 mins DH came in to check on us to relieve me. When LO woke up I went to find DH. He was f-ing off on his computer. I said I could have used some help. He said since I was sleeping he thought it was covered. Minor fight ending with this: He'll OFFER to help more, I'll be sure to ASK for help more.

That evening we went to a crawfish boil. Vegetarian me didn't eat much. When we got home I asked him to take care of bedtime while I ate dinner. While dinner was "cooking" I went in to check on him. He made a comment about me not wanting to do bedtime because LO was fussy. Really?!?! Nothing to do with the fact I hadn't eaten yet? I was so pissed off that on the day we agreed I would ask for help, I got a complaint when I did. This was our first fight in 11 years where neither one of us would agree to see the other person's side. Still a little pissed.

WOW, sorry so long. I guess I am upset.

Meghan14 · May 2014

MamaHollywood27 said:

My husband always makes little remarks like right before he leaves for work "you wanna go do this quick!?" Implying sex.... Or he will text me in his way home from work "be ready for me!" ... Now while I know he does it partially joking but with full hopes it will happen it drives me Fing NUTS!!! No I don't wanna quick bang before you go to work! Lol Disclaimer: I have the few times I was in the mood

The on the way out the door would drive me nuts. But "be ready for me" on the way home I think is actually kind of hot.

HisLovf · May 2014

Bath time for DS1 has ALWAYS been DH's department, but the last couple weeks he has bitched and complained about having to do it; "You're home all day with him, I don't understand why you can't do it." Nevermind that I also have the baby to care for, plus getting dinner ready, all the household chores, and running all the errands. DS doesn't even like for me to do it anymore because it's really the only time of day he gets daddy to himself. It's seriously starting to piss me off. Just do it, man! It only takes 20 minutes.

littlepig2 · May 2014

same here, @BlueDot818‌ !! or I'll wake up (aka just finally get up to get ready after being up all night) and tell DH that I'm tired and he'll say something stupid like "oh I'm so much more tired... my CPAP machine was cold." WHAT. THE. FUCK. last time I checked, I'm pretty sure the air doesn't blow on your neck all night and all 8364 times I woke up with M, you were sleeping soundly.

or like flightview, he'll ask me to leave him a list of things to do because he doesn't "notice things" but then half ass them. refill LO's med's and pick them up? only refilled. vacuum upstairs? he put a birth cloth in the hamper. clean out fridge? leaves all the dirty dishes in the sink.

edited because rage makes me forget how to spell

shellbell3845 · May 2014

DH takes his seatbelt off/gathers his things before he turns the car off.

He can spot a speed limit sign from a mile away so by the time we reach the first sign we have decelerated to the new speed.

He doesn't put his clean clothes away in a timely manner. I used to do all the folding in the basement laundry room, but it was his job to carry his basket upstairs and put his clothes away. He would let his clean clothes sit for weeks -- and then let me know he was out of tshirts/underwear/jeans. It's gotten slightly better because I fold upstairs now.

He thinks all reds, blues, greens, etc match. So he'll wear a red sweater with a red turtleneck, but they're different colors of red.

And the way the man eats a candy bar...omg

TessyMessy · May 2014

DH never rinses the spit down the drain when he brushes his teeth. I don't understand how he manages to get toothpaste all over the mirror and the lighting fixture.

shellbell3845 · May 2014

Stophoney said:
DH never rinses the spit down the drain when he brushes his teeth. I don't understand how he manages to get toothpaste all over the mirror and the lighting fixture.

Uh, this. And our toothbrush holder is perpetually covered in white goo because he doesn't rinse his toothbrush or razor.

snowwhite1979 · May 2014

shellbell3845 said:

Stophoney said:
DH never rinses the spit down the drain when he brushes his teeth. I don't understand how he manages to get toothpaste all over the mirror and the lighting fixture.
Uh, this. And our toothbrush holder is perpetually covered in white goo because he doesn't rinse his toothbrush or razor.

Will take all of this over lazy toilet aiming/drippage. Can't wait until I have a teenage boy too.

ScaredOfCats · May 2014

H has an off schedule and sometimes gets home around 1-2am. On these nights he likes to come in the bedroom and shine his phone in my face to say hi. He wants me to know its him and not a burglar. I've tried explaining that a burglar would not stomp around with lights on and wake me up, but dude doesn't listen.
After he finally comes to bed a few hours after getting home (and waking me up a again) he will ask if I "want to do" him. And he gets pouty when I say no.

As annoying as he can be, all I can think now is at least he doesn't take baths. I would have to murder him if he was splashing around while I was trying to sleep.

TessyMessy · May 2014

shellbell3845 said:

Stophoney said:
DH never rinses the spit down the drain when he brushes his teeth. I don't understand how he manages to get toothpaste all over the mirror and the lighting fixture.
Uh, this. And our toothbrush holder is perpetually covered in white goo because he doesn't rinse his toothbrush or razor.

Aaaaahhhhh!! The worst is when he brushes his teeth and then trims his beard. Then the sink is effin hairy!!!

Madelyn0713 · May 2014

My husband doesn't seem to understand how to shut things off, or just shut them in general. He gets something out of the dryer - he leaves the dryer door open. He gets a plate from the cupboard - he leaves the door open. He walks out of a room - he leaves the lights on. He changes LO- he leaves the wipes lid open. And so on and so on...ugh!

MissDemeanor · May 2014

Also boyfriend treats his band like it's a real thing. They only jam, don't play gigs, and never intend too. But he can't help me with anything because he has songs to learn because the guys are coming over of Friday. Last night he went downstairs to practice, and a three hour nap, and then complained to me that he didn't ever have enough time to practice, and no motivation.

He also woke me up at 12:30 last night to tell me that since I was sleeping he was going to sleep downstairs. And then woke me up when he got up at 6, lord knows why. I didn't need to be up for 45 more minutes.

And now he's pissed off that I didn't feel like going to the mall after work so he could get new hockey skates. Because apparently he can't do this without me. So he's lying on the couch watching tv because "tired" and pouting.

I'm fairly sure the father of my child is in fact a 14 year old girl with PMS. Moody little bitch.

Clearly I am now extremely stabby!

Metreky21 · May 2014

I have an issue with crumbs. I can't stand them. If I feel one crumb on the floor under my bare foot I have to sweep right then (or I used to before LO). Anyway, my husband does not share my loathing for crumbs. He eats everything like a 2 year old and leaves crumbs EVERYWHERE and all over himself. Which he then brushes off onto...the floor. I have complained and complained to him so many times, he says he doesn't see any crumbs...TP :-t

I just read what I wrote and realized it's pretty boring...but I'm leaving it. Also crumbs is a weird word. Crumb

courtls22 · May 2014

elf828 said:

This is a pile of crap that has been sitting on my kitchen counter all week. None of this crap is mine because I put my stuff away. I can't move any of this crap, I have to wait until it disappears. It will then be replaced by a different pile of crap.

I'm the crap pile-er in my relationship. I will fuss about the table being a disaster and then my DH will point out that I put basically every item there. It's a real problem I have.

littlepig2 · May 2014

@elf828‌ omg the piles of crap!! then he'll pile them in a gift box, A GIFT BOX, and put them under the coffee table so it's not "in the way". how about you go through that crap and throw it away or put it where it belongs?! I don't want 83 gift boxes with god knows what in them laying around the house!! "but it's easier to find because it's all in one spot." NO, DH. NO.

also: if you sprinkle when you tinkle, clean it the fûck up.

coralreefmom · May 2014

So I have dh - loves taking 1hr dumps in the bathroom with the shower going. Gets frustrated whwn he can't calm him and hands him off to me. He then proceeds to watch tv while I deal with baby. Where the f is my break???

I also have roommate - will peel potatoes, wash veggies, and debone meat then leave the waste in the sink. It's not that fucking hard to walk ti the trash 5 feet away.

MissDemeanor · May 2014

cyclonewxchick said:

So I have dh - loves taking 1hr dumps in the bathroom with the shower going. Gets frustrated whwn he can't calm him and hands him off to me. He then proceeds to watch tv while I deal with baby. Where the f is my break??? I also have roommate - will peel potatoes, wash veggies, and debone meat then leave the waste in the sink. It's not that fucking hard to walk ti the trash 5 feet away.

OMG! My boyfriend has the inability to put garbage in the can! He leaves it in the counter! I'd take a crap pile over a garbage pile any day

bvanosten · May 2014

I could write a book! Basically everything everyone has mentioned above. I didn't realize how much he drives me crazy until you all reminded me!

- Golf- last summer, he golfed every weekend. This summer, I've explained that it's not going to happen. So now, he asks me evry two days if he can play golf. I am then forced to tell him that I'm not interested in spending time with him but I don't want to have to wake up early with LO since he'll be out of the house. He claims, "It's only four hours". It's not because he has to be there an hour early to practice (because, you know, he'll be in the masters next summer), then have lunch after. By the time he drives to and from, we are looking at a 6+ hour day and he seems to think it's not an inconvenience to me even though it means I have to be awake and entertain LO.

-Post-work- I pick up LO and bring him home. I usually have an hour alone with him before DH comes home. My husband has ~45 minutes from the time he gets home until he has to take his online class (which I fully support). However, how he spends that 45 minutes is going to be the death of our marriage. He kissed LO hello- literally one kiss, then changes/goes to the bathroom for 5 minutes, then spends 25 minutes preparing a gourmet meal (doesn't matter if it's a sandwich or an all out meal- nothing gets prepared in less than 20 minutes), then he eats for 20 minutes, kisses LO goodnight and goes upstairs and is unavailable for the rest of the night. We've had many fights about how he should be able to prepare and eat a meal in 10 minutes or less and then spend 25 minutes with LO. This concept is completely lost on him.

My husband's definitely falls into the category of "my life hasn't changed since I had a child".

snowwhite1979 · May 2014

@megash113‌, that toothbrush is DH's. So gross, and DD is learning from him. Nooooo!

In defence of the morning bath - he's often up a good hour before me. But sometimes he will be on the computer for that hour then head downstairs for a bath when I get up.

On second thought, that was a terrible defence of the bath. I just don't get it, but it's part of my life now.

RondackHiker · May 2014

megash113 said:

bvanosten said:
I am then forced to tell him that I'm not interested in spending time with him but I don't want to have to wake up early with LO since he'll be out of the house.
Yikes.

@bvanosten‌

Do you really tell him you don't want to spend time with him?

bvanosten · May 2014

I guess that's awful, huh? Since he has class every night, we don't get much time during the week to spend time together.. Last year, when he was golfing every weekend, we made the deal that he could as long as he was back by 1pm so it wouldn't interfere too much with our day and our quality time. His argument now is that he's still back by 1pm. That's when I tell him it's no longer about our quality time, it's about how his leaving the house leaves me stuck waking up with LO (who doesn't sleep) when I used to use his golf days to catch up on sleep. It compounds itself because if he's golfing on Saturday, he's exhausted on Sunday and doesn't want to wake up early with LO (although I make him).

JackieP1023 · May 2014

MH is typically pretty good. But, occasionally he does things that really irk me. When we are both working, i get up before him. I pump, wash parts, make bottles, eat, shower, get dressed, get DD up, dressed, fed, and to daycare. He gets up, shaves, gets dressed, eats, and is out the door. He has a 10 min commute, I have 30min. He leaves 45 min before me, but I am easily 1+ hours later than him getting home. The other day, he called me after he was home (and had been for awhile) asking me what is for dinner! I told him he was the one at home, he could figure it out! He didn't like that, but geez, man-I'm not off work yet, I still have to pick up DD, then when I am home, wash bottles and pump parts...

He also has some really strange quirks. He is good about cleaning up after himself--rinsing the toothpaste out of the sink, cleaning up hairs when he shaves--but when he brushes his teeth, he does this super loud throat-clearing thing... And it grates on my nerves so bad!

MissDemeanor · May 2014

megash113 said:

I just can't fathom getting up in the morning and my first thought being, "I'd love a good long soak in the tub." And if that needs to be part of his routine, fine. But you should have first dibs on the bathroom. He doesn't get a bath till you get your shower. If DH was the reason I had to spend all day grubby, I'd probably cut him.

My boyfriend was in a car accident years ago, where he broke his bad and pelvis, so the hot water helps with the pain before he goes to work. Or maybe he just likes to touch his winkie in private.

Generally this routine doesn't disturb my day. He gets up at 6 for his bath. Usually I'm still sleeping. But on the days I need to go out too, it pisses me off that he has time for a bath, but not 2 minutes to help me out.

snowwhite1979 · May 2014

I think these threads are good for venting but without knowing the full story make most of our SOs look like douchecanoes.

FTR, mine is not the douchecanoe he appears to be. He's a bit of an absent-minded professor though, and I don't think he would be for every woman. That's all right with me.

@DreamingBabies‌ - my H definitely walks off in the middle of tasks, which on bad days can make me crazy. But, absent minded. The scarier part is that DD totally takes after him, so I am on her like white on rice to create good habits, but I'm not sure I'll ever totally get there. Upside: their absent-mindedness comes with an incredible ability to focus on one thing at a time, which I have trouble doing.

Sh!t Men Say/Do - Pet Peeve edition

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